My boyfriend of a year proposed, and i'm not even sure if I want to be with him. He acts so sweet at times, but has really scared me other times. It seems the only time he really responds to me is when i'm a total b**ch. I don't want to end up with an emotionally abusive man like my father.
2006-11-20 13:08:10 · 31 answers · asked by herbmom 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
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2006-11-20 13:10:35 · answer #1 · answered by G-Man 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If your father was emotionally abusive, chances are you've found a man like that. I'm sorry, but that is what happens. We repeat the cycles we know. We find men that are abusive, controlling, in need of help. It is how we are - until we deal with our problems, we continue the cycle. You would be best to not get married at the present, and talk with a therapist. Maybe even join a group - for this matter. You need to get healthy before you can commit to someone and know it will be a healthy relationship. Your gut is telling you - that you need to do something - the doubt....
I hope the best for you. Please, don't do it right now.
2006-11-20 21:19:09 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say, but, If you marry this guy, you've got a one way ticket to an emotionally abusive relationship and you're about to board the train to hell. If you don't want to give up on him, tell him how you feel. If he understands, then he'll do something about it (like seek professional help) and you'll see a change in his behaviour because he want's things to work out. If not, you know to let him go. Another thing, you shouldn't have to be afraid for your daughter when you're with someone. That's just out of the question. If you feel scared that being with this guy would have a negative affect on her life, why subject her to that type of person. If he makes you feel scared for your children, that means he's not right for you. You're jeopardizing your child and yourself because emotional abuse could eventually escalate into something physical. Think about your daughter, she comes first.
2006-11-20 21:37:01 · answer #3 · answered by ♥aNgeL eYeS♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Isn't this the exact thing Snow White said about the Young Prince? NOT! Why are you settling for an incomplete partner AGAIN! Wasn't your daughters father someone you didn't want to be with? (This is a complete guess, but a calculated guess). Come on, think about your daughter if you have to but I would think about a future daughter or son. Will he also scare them? Yes, why change? For you? I don't think so.
2006-11-20 21:21:47 · answer #4 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he only responds when you're acting like a total *****, maybe he's submissive and wants somebody to be in control of HIM instead. Either way maybe underneath he has emotional/mental problems.
How long have u been with him??
Don't get any deeper into the relationship. Try to figure him out first or if not, just break up with him.
2006-11-20 21:12:33 · answer #5 · answered by Analisa 4rm Edinburg RGV - TX 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have already answered your own question. You can already see that he has the potential to be a control freak. You certainly cannot go on with the situation as it is. It may be best to just let this relationship fade away and find someone else who will treat you with love, care, and respect. Trust me, you will meet the right man - just don't waste your time on the wrong men instead of waiting.
2006-11-20 21:12:33 · answer #6 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Does he call to check up on you when you are away or out shopping, or with friends? Does he accuse you of cheating? Could you go out with just the girls without him going crazy? I don't know if you are choosing the right man or not but give it so more time instead of just one year. Trust the signs that are in front of you! Good luck to you.
2006-11-20 21:16:22 · answer #7 · answered by Michael C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The key words here are "has really scared me." You should NEVER be afraid of the person you intend on spending the rest of your life with. If you're afraid of him now, it will only get worse. Get out now. Find a man that treats you with respect.
2006-11-20 22:14:52 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U just answered your own question..ur with your father...like u r continuing the cycle..break it and dont marry him...i think u'l regret it and all u'll be saying is I SHOULD OF>>>>>>...dont wait to long to end and dont make excuses for him.."hes so sweet...BUT..." ********...if theres a BUT in a sentence than u know ur answer already..u just need to follow ur heart and know what u want and dont want....AND UR FIRST PRIORITYIS YOUR DAUGHTER NOT HIM AND NOT U>>>YOUR DAUGHTER!!!!!! be a good example for her
2006-11-20 22:22:37 · answer #9 · answered by truthgrl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At times he's sweet and other times he scares you. Then politely tell him no, but understand that this will probably mean the end of the relationship. It's not only about you, but your kids as well. Though I think you understand that.
2006-11-20 21:11:11 · answer #10 · answered by FaerieWhings 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you are questioning him only after a year you need to get yourself out of that situation. If he scares you at times then you are just putting yourself into a very bad situation that could become VERY worse over the years try to get out now.
2006-11-20 21:12:09 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋