Because so many families are dysfunctional to some degree will you look forward to the occasion or attend out of a sense of duty?
2006-11-20 12:43:08 · 13 answers · asked by Reo 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Holidays ➔ Thanksgiving
Good question. I host dinner and only invite family I want to be around. Some years I only accept invitations from family members I enjoy.
The mistake a lot of families make is pretending that the holidays are some magical time that will naturally imbue people with a spirit of forgiveness, respect and common courtesy. They do not.
Years ago I decided to eliminate people from my life who stress me out. That meant some siblings, aunts and uncles.
Don't get me wrong, I pray for them. I wish them well. I hope they are happy. I just don't allow them to make me unhappy, even for a moment and especially on the holidays.
I don't even go through the motions of an obligatory telephone call. Happiness is being left alone by people who make you miserable.
I'll have a house full this Thursday. Some family, some friends who have become like family. I'll be happy and wishing my toxic relatives well.
Happy Thanksgiving.
2006-11-20 12:50:51 · answer #1 · answered by Chris 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, it was unconfotable for my husband to go to his parents for any holiday because they ditch everything he did or does. Plus, if we had plans other then them they would try to force us there or try to put guilt trips on to stay and we would stay few more minutes and leave then the next yeah we chose to throw a party for both sides to come over the week b4 Thanksgiving or christmas both. My side treated him well and we had fun but his would start stuff and someone from my side would be like leave them alone let them grow up and get traditions and live. They complained there was too much food for 30 people and they only put like one teaspoon of food on there plates and said it was good just we serve too much and to much choice. Then they stopped coming and decided they would say when they left we could only go to there home for holidays. We told them we were leaving town and we did and went for a drive to another state and had dinner. After that we just started ahead of time time telling both families they could come see us for dinner before Thanksgiving or a holiday or they wouldn't see us and we started a tradition of putting up the tree, going to church, going to a church didnner etc. Now we live with my mom and my family has died off in 9 years. Now it's me, hubby ,my mom and our kids and my 1 aunt for dinner and we still go to church b4 our dinner and don't go to his families at all. It's a chore so we don't go.We don't find it our duty we have kids and our own traditions to do.
We do love to be with our kids and my mom on holidays its the best. My mom even shows my hubby how to cook and he loves that because his family told him he couldn't and shouldnt learn.
2006-11-20 13:25:14 · answer #2 · answered by mcalano77 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Clever question! I think that many may attend Thanksgiving with the initial feeling that it is a bit of a chore...and then enjoy themselves once they get there.
I also think this depends on age - it seems that the very young get excited because they get to play with cousins and see people who love to see them. Then when they are a bit older, teenagers may feel put upon because their social lives revolve around friends, so family may feel somewhat of a burden, even though they love them. As we get older, we tend to appreciate our families (provided they aren't HIGHLY dysfunctional!) and are happy for the chance to see them in a holiday atmosphere.
Personally, I love seeing family over the holidays. We spend so much time in the daily grind and getting through our lives, it's nice to break the pace with a way to show our families that we care and to catch up with the ones we love.
2006-11-20 12:50:16 · answer #3 · answered by lisa_tilton 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
For my family to me it is a desent time but my in-laws are a different story. It is not my mother or step-father in-law it is the stepfather's kid's, well 2 out of 3 of them. One has 3 kids and a wife they dont make their children behave or bathe them oftem for that matter. The 2nd one is a mommies spoiled b*t*h that had her stepfather instead of her father walk her down the isle when she got married because her mom wanted too and didnt even consider how her father, the man who has been there for her since day one would feel. They just really tick me off!!
2006-11-20 12:48:40 · answer #4 · answered by cmsmith114 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well before i looked forward to having dinner with family but then certain family members would allow someone to come who was not related to anyone else but that one person and everyone hated this person and it sucked big time.. living now so far away from everyone, i am sad because of no family close by but i am happy to not seeing that one person on thanksgiving!
2006-11-20 12:49:57 · answer #5 · answered by gacountrygirly 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Will see oldest son and his kinfolk some days ahead of Thanksgiving as her kinfolk consistently meets at her sister's each and each year. i'm no longer able to climb stairs so I heavily is unlikely this year. Youngest is spending holiday with fiance' kinfolk.
2016-10-17 07:27:17 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If we go to my brother and SIL's, it's fun, they don't have kids, but understand that toddlers are toddlers and they situate things to accommodate them. My house, it's fun cause it's MY house and I'm set up for kids and my cats are there. My sister's house is a chore because she's sort of fru fru and she has kids who are afraid to breathe, we spend most of our time in her barn when we're at her house. My kids aren't heathens, but jiminy, they are 2 and 3.... and they aren't afraid to breathe. We never argue or anything, but Sis gives my kids dirty fru fru looks.
2006-11-20 12:49:26 · answer #7 · answered by ihave5katz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If we spend Thanksgiving with my family, its very fun. If we spend Thanksgiving with my husband's family, then it isn't much fun.
2006-11-20 13:09:13 · answer #8 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it was a chore but now that most of us are grown with our own families it is alot more fun.
2006-11-20 16:03:15 · answer #9 · answered by Shadow Kat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With the right attitude it is fun.
2006-11-20 12:56:02 · answer #10 · answered by eilishaa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋