For my birthday, he gave me nothing, we spent my birthday taking his mother around, that was fine with me but after the day was over, I still got nothing from him. No gift, nothing. when I told him how I felt, all he could say was "sorry". and that was it. When I went back to work, my co-workers took me to lunch for a birthday meal and got me a cake. I hinted to my husband about that and all he said was "that's nice". I later told him again, and he said "well what do you want". Oh come on..so sarcastely I said why dont you buy me a cake and then give me a card, but make sure you sign your name on it and buy me some roses.yeah, that's real romantic. I have to tell my husband what to get me rather then having it come straight from the heart. But again, nothing..all I got was a sorry. So later on, after arguing so much, he finally went out and bought me chocolate.All he said was "fine, I will go and get you some candy." what kind of present is that.
What should I do with him?
2006-11-20 12:31:40 · 26 answers · asked by cvezsays 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Simply explain to him that it's not about the material things, rather it's the thought that counts. Tell him that you want to feel "thought of" on your special occasion and it doesn't matter what he gets you. All you want is validation that it is your birthday (or whatever occasion it is). I know that some men are not very good at giving gifts and they don't know the importance of this to women. They think that just cause you've been married for a while that they don't need to try anymore.
So, let him know how you feel. I'm pretty sure he just doesn't get it.
2006-11-20 12:40:23 · answer #1 · answered by jdhs 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I grew up in a family that celebrated Christmas, birthdays, and anniversaries, and some other special occasions with gifts. My husband did not grow up in a family like that and has never bought me a gift after we married. He never even bought me an engagement ring. He said he would but never did. He was like that, always promising but never keeping his promises. It wasn't the material things I missed by him not doing these things, but it was the significance of the gesture. It would have meant that I was important to him and that he thought of me. Some people would say an engagement ring isn't that important but it was to me. To this day, I wished he had bought me one. Well, now we are getting divorced even though I still love him. I just never felt loved by him. I think, if your husband is treating you well in every other way and that he usually does do special things for you once in a while, that you are very lucky. For your 30th birthday, it would have been nice to get a little more than a card. Maybe he is still planning something and is just a little late?
2016-05-22 02:29:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well this isn't a situation where u should up and leave.....first, how long have u been married and has he gotten u presents for ur birthday in the past? if not, he may not just seem like tht kind of person who just "knows" about this kind of stuff such as anniversay/birthday gifts....just sit down and talk to him about what a girl likes on her special days and that she doesnt have to always tell her loved one what to get her....it has to be something from the heart.....if he still doesn't understand, well im thinking really hard, but i hate to break it to u, but he JUST might me one of those men who don't understand about presents and fun random stuff likes notes, teddy bears, chocolate, that women love....u really gotta push and gotta make him understand....good luck and best of wishes! :)
2006-11-20 12:36:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Some people are just bad with birthdays. I dated one of my exes for 4 years and never could remember his birthday. The only thing I know is that it falls in the month of November. I buy birthday cards for the people whose birthdays I do remember, and a month later I still have the card because I forgot. Instead of focusing on him, be more proactive. Tell him what you want, or where you want to go, for your birthday. That way he remembers, and you get something nice. Or, if not, just splurge on something for yourself (use his money of course! :-) It's nice when people remember your birthday and make a big deal about it, but on the flip side, its childish to act petty when they don't.
2006-11-20 12:44:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
I have been married almost ten years and had never recieved a birthday gift on my birthday until this year. (My b'day is in november and we are always broke getting ready for Christmas) I have never been bothered by the lack of gifts because my husband shows me everyday that he loves me. I think that if he did it just to be mean or rude that you should do what you must but if he just forgot then let him off the hook. Maybe he had trouble finding a gift that expressed the love he has. I don't give my hubbie gifts on his birthday I give them a few days after when he least expects it that way it is more fun and life is more interesting.
2006-11-20 12:47:04 · answer #5 · answered by mountaincutie1178 4 · 0⤊ 4⤋
Definitely dont leave him just for b day present. However, i do know that how much it means to partners. But let me tell u the truth my husband does the same thing as ur husband. Infact! ur hubby got candies for u. Even though if i tell my hubby he will not bring one single candy not even for his little one's b day. So dont take harsh decisions. Take care of urself!
2006-11-20 12:56:32 · answer #6 · answered by kiran123 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
who says have an afair? that persons an IDIOT! dont do that. men can be like brick walls sometimes, even though we think we can giving very obvious hints, trust me they still wont get it. But thats the difference bw men and women and you have to respect that. So, dont expect him to be a mind reader if you want something you have to tell him. You shouldnt have to go as far as telling him what, but i guess its a start. Now that you've talked about this. get over it. but if you expect something in the future you need to make sure you tell him otherwise you will probably get let down again.
2006-11-20 12:37:54 · answer #7 · answered by Stephanie 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Some men don't understand the importance of special occasions to women... I wouldn't take it to heart, did he tell you happy birthday?? material gifts aren't everything, at least you spent the day together. Life is about happiness and love.. as long as you have that.. who needs cake? =)
2006-11-20 12:35:50 · answer #8 · answered by Mrs.Neville 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
this place is getting freaky....im seeing too man topics that are hitting close to home.....tomorrow is my wifes Birthday....and I didnt get her anything yet....guess I will make her breakfast in the morning and suprise her with some flowers and take her to dinner.
maybe even go down on her while she eats some chocolate and drinks some wine.
ladies tell me what you think of that by a thumbs up or down...
.
2006-11-20 12:48:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
it was my b/day recently and my other half bought me a xmas basket with a santa teddy 07 diary xmas candle and chocolate santa and no card i was pissed and told him he said he didnt know it was xmas basket anyway he went straight out got me a card and took me shopping and made it up 2 me he was really sorry then i felt like a ***** b/c i think he really didnt think he just thought the basket looked nice.most men r thick as far as presents r concerned i just said that it made me feel like he didnt give a sh it and he wasnt bothered anyway if he cant c it from your shoes then ignore his b/day then he might get the message -u r not the only one to a thoughtless man
2006-11-20 12:44:58 · answer #10 · answered by sarah71397 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋