Cover letter - suggestions, tips, corrections?

Question

Dear Mr. ________

Since beginning college I have had a great interest in finance and economics. When I first learned of the work that investment bankers perform, I knew that was what I wanted to do. Now that I have concentrated my studies upon those topics through majors in finance, economics with finance applications, and public policy, I feel that I have nurtured those interests and acquired enough of a knowledge base to be successful in the investment banking field. I have become very eager to complement this technical knowledge with the requisite practical experience. A summer analyst position at _______ would provide an outstanding opportunity to gain that experience, while also enabling me to add worthwhile contributions to the firm.

I feel that my most valuable asset to _______ would be my dedication to work and a desire for learning. I have been heavily involved in many areas throughout college – I am far ahead of my class in coursework, I have worked...

...consistently for the past five years, and I am involved with campus organizations. Having taken many liberal arts classes, in addition to business courses, I have been provided with a well-rounded education that allows me to tackle nearly any problem. Besides coursework, I am also an avid reader of business material such as The Wall Street Journal, The Economist, Fortune, and books that relate to finance. This helps to round out the classroom education I am receiving at ______ with a focus on current events and their applicability to modern business.

In high school, my first business-related position was as a teller for ________, now part of Citigroup, where I learned about banking from a retail standpoint. I now have an internship at _______ Inc. where I have learned much about the commercial real estate market, the investment opportunities provided by real estate investment trusts, and the means of analyzing the financial data of these companies.

...While I enjoyed both of these positions, my true interest lies in investment banking. My employment over the past five years has helped to provide a foundation for such an analyst internship by providing a skill set that includes perseverance, a strong ethic of teamwork, problem-solving skills, and the ability to work well under pressure and manage time appropriately.

This experience, combined with my passion for learning and hard work, would undoubtedly be applied to an internship position at your firm. I would devote myself to learning the most I could about the business, thereby enabling me to effectively and efficiently complete any tasks that lay before me. I believe that I would truly be an asset to such an esteemed company, and I would relish the opportunity to become one.

If you need any additional information or would like to schedule a time to meet, please feel free to call me at _______ or email me at ________. Thank you very much for your time and

...and consideration.

Sincerely,
_________________

Do you have any ideas on how to improve this cover letter? I'm open to anything. Thanks.

Answer 1

Mr. Andrew Walsh
Director of Finance
YYY Bank
Address



Dear Mr. Walsh


I am writing to inquire about employment opportunities with your organization.

I am a graduate of the ----------------------- with a B.B.A. in ------------------. My majors are in finance, economics with finance applications, and public policy. I chose these majors in order to pursue a successful career in investment banking.

With----years experience at YY company (now part of Citigroup) as a teller, I learned about banking from a retail standpoint. I now have an internship at _______ Inc. where I am learning much about the commercial real estate market, the investment opportunities provided by real estate investment trusts, and the means of analyzing the financial data of these companies. While I find these positions rewarding, my true interest lies in investment banking.

Over the past 5 years my professional experience has enabled me to hone skill such as communication, interpersonal, problem-solving and time management. I am a team player who has good work ethics and work well under pressure. My most valuable assets are my dedication to work and a strong desire for learning.

I am very eager to compliment my technical knowledge and acquired skills with the requisite practical experience and believe that a summer job as an analyst or any related position at your organization would provide an outstanding opportunity for me to gain that experience while making positive contributions to your organization. I am confident that I could become a valuable member of your team and may be reached at 123-345-669 in order to arrange for an interview.



Sincerely yours


Job Seeker


Hope this helps. Did it in a rush but you need to KISS (keep it short and simple). Even though you are applying for a summer job you want to make an impact so that they will consider you for permanent employment in the future. I tried to put in the most relevant selling points. Please do spell check 4 me. Thanks. All the best with your career!

Answer 2

:far ahead" required the reader to stop and figure out if your are bragging or graduating in 3 years. Readers don't like to stop.
Use darts to highlight a maximum of 3 best points.
Your desire to learn means nothing to them for a 3 month hire. If they are giving you experience and salary, they want it clear what THEY are getting.
CUT CUT CUT. Forget h.s. CUT CUT CUT. At a max you should have 3/4's of 1 page and 1 attached letter of recommendation from the most important professor you know.
God's speed

Answer 3

Well, depending on how long your job search will be, your cover letter will be like one of those "Mad Libs" games where you fill in the blanks depending on who you're applying with.

As for the letter, it looks fine and dandy. Make sure it's easily modified for the mass mailings of resumes you may have to do to find work.