My husband and I live in Maryland with our son and my daughter, his stepdaughter. My exhusband also lives in Maryland and we have joint custody however she is with my husband and I over 200 nights a year. My ex says if we were to both die he would want her to live with her aunt. I said we should let her live with my husband and sibling. What woud happen or how can I make it so if the ex and I both die the stepfather would get her?
2006-11-20 10:53:48 · 17 answers · asked by mrs thomson 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Unless you have a will and both your ex-husband and yourself die, your daughter will be a ward of the state until custody can be granted to whomever is fighting for custody. You need to have a will no matter what age you are especially with kids involved. Try to explain to your ex the reason you would like your daughter to remain with your husband and son. Maybe work out a visitation with the aunt in your will if it will get him to agree. But get a will worked out and if your ex doesn't have one then yours should stand but if his differs at all on the custody there will be a custody battle and your daughter will be a ward of the state. So, try to come to an agreement with the ex.
2006-11-20 11:45:18 · answer #1 · answered by TatuGrl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See an attorney. Short of that, write out a will, stating your wishes --- in your own handwriting, hon, not on a computer...... Have several friends sign and date all the pages. Tell your family that you have a will, and where it is....(In a safe deposit box!!!!! What's in it is no one's business but yours.... ) In matters of children, you should have god parents for them. In the matter of money, all material effects go to the surviving spouse. If both die at the same time, to their families. It gets sticky if you have things joint with an ex, such as $$ accounts, real estate, etc. The state wishes to do the right thing..... however, you are not helping if you do not have a will or a trust. Death is something none of like to think about, particularly when it is about our own death. Thus, to answer your question,
1. See an attorney
2. appoint a godparent
3. have a trust outlining your wishes
4. write out a handwritten will, and though you don't have to reveal who gets what, you might make it know what your wishes are with regard to your minor children
5. don't die very soon.
2006-11-20 11:09:44 · answer #2 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The three of you need to consult a child psychologist to decide which arrangement would be best for her. After you do that, then you need to get an attorney to draw up papers. You can't (or shouldn't) do anything on your own. Most times, when both parents die, the child goes to live with blood relatives (the court believes in keeping families together) unless otherwise explicitly implicated (legal documents).
2006-11-20 11:05:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a guardianship agreement worked out between her father and you. If he doesn't want to see things your way you have to go to court. If your daughter is old enough, and wants to stay with her stepfather the court will take it into consideration.
Provisions of guardianship should also be in writing for your son in case his father and you should pass.
Don't use a will for this as a will would have to go through probate and that takes time, also the person who would be guardian needs papers too with vaccine info and school info, and more things that a lawyer could tell you about.
2006-11-20 10:58:58 · answer #4 · answered by justa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest that you check with your lawyer or court. Usually it would be the nearest relative. This could include the step-family. You cannot bequeath a child as you can property. If there is no clear line to follow the child may end up as a ward of the state. All of this varies according to state.
2006-11-20 10:59:24 · answer #5 · answered by believer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He would be the likely choice. However, if your daughter is old enough, I'm sure they'd take her opinion into the matter. You could always make up a will designating who gets custody of your daughter, after talking to her about it.
2006-11-20 10:56:59 · answer #6 · answered by heehaw 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This really don't have anything to do with this but then again it does.
A few years ago, my x was trying to kill me, and did go to jail for it but anyway......my parents and I went to the court house and we filled out a paper for them to get custody of my daughter should something happen to me. It was legal and there was nothing that my x could do about it.
So what I am trying to tell you is, who ever you want to have and get custody of your daughter, you need to go to your local court house and get it on file.
2006-11-20 14:26:18 · answer #7 · answered by SapphireB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do believe you would need a will to state where you want your child to live, if this tragic scenario were to happen.
I do believe that custody would be given to your next of kin, a family member (like your mother,father, brothers, sisters)
Just get a will...
2006-11-20 10:59:25 · answer #8 · answered by He moonwalked on my <3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make out a will. There are software packages that will allow you to make a will yourself. You would have to talk to an attorney about the legality of it all.
Don't wait. Do it now. I would hope that the scenario you mentioned never happens.
2006-11-20 10:58:02 · answer #9 · answered by Juanitaville 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tHE ONLY WAY FOR THIS TO HAPPEN IS FOR YOUR CURRENT HUSBAND TO APPLY FOR SOLE CUSTODY OF THE CHILD IN QUESTION. MEANING THAT YOUR EX HUBBBY WOULD HAVE TO SURRENDER ALL RIGHTS TO THE CHILD. FROM THE SOUND OF IT THAT'S NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE. AND ALSO FOR THE CHILD TO TAKE ON THE LAST NNAME OF YOUR CURRENT HUBBY.
GGOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
2006-11-20 11:41:04 · answer #10 · answered by Precious1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋