I am the type of person who really wants a family of my own, with my own children (not adopted -- I have nothing against adoption though, of course). The apparent problem, though, is that I have a definite physical attraction toward men, and USUALLY women don't really excite me too much, sexually speaking. I understand how important and beneficial it is to a child growing up to have both of his/her parents in their life, with full love and attention from both of them. This basically brings me to my main question: Can a marriage between a gay man and a straight woman, who is aware that the man is gay, work? This is also assuming that both partners love each other, even if one of them will always have an attraction to the same sex. Thanks for the input in advance.
2006-11-20 10:38:36 · 15 answers · asked by Sal F 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
To clarify, it would of course be a faithful relationship, and it wouldn't JUST be for the kids, there would have to be some sort of love.
2006-11-20 10:49:39 · update #1
Also, it wouldn't just be a mutual "agreement", but rather an understanding, and the woman who is willing to do it because they love the person. The gay guy, in essence, has to want to give the effort to really love the woman and make the relationship work. Are there no famous or well known "success stories" out there?
2006-11-20 10:55:42 · update #2
I will re-clarify that I am looking for a committed, loving relationship without cheating or seeing other people/guys "on the side".
2006-11-20 11:02:16 · update #3
I think more people live like this today than we even know.......It could work for you....you would both have to be very committed to your "Marriage" and you kids....
Obviously "Family" means a lot to you and you should be commended for that....If your wiling to sacrifice your desires for having children of your own.......hats off to you!!
All the best to you and more.......
2006-11-20 12:33:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's the W&G complex, I like to say. Grace (straight woman) has a close relationship with Will (the gay man). Personally, I have a lot of female friends who just find me more interesting and fun than their heterosexual male friends. One of the reasons I can find is that when a straight woman and a gay man become friends, there aren't any sexual hangups. A woman can be assured that the guy won't be staring at her the whole time if he's gay (usually). But also, it's a stereotype but sometimes it's true, gay men tend to be more interpersonal and sympathetic and overal relate more easily with woman (and vice-versa). It's completely normal to get into situations like this as like you said, gay men seem to have traits that are desirable. You're not the only one who gets into situations like this, however, so don't feel alone!
2016-03-29 03:19:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The key to this, is finding a woman who has an open mind about sexuality.
My question to you, is- do you intend on having a boyfriend when you are married to a woman?
This can complicate the situation alot, and confuse your future children.
I feel as though its very extreme to want to marry a woman for the sake of having a family, when you know you are gay. You will feel like you have wasted your life.
I believe your best option is to find a woman who is willing to give you children,raise the child together as FRIENDS. you dont even need to live in the same house hold, as long as you both live close to each other.The children will grow up loved no matter what.
I can guarantee there are lesbian women out there who would love for a man to father their kids, and help raise them as friends.
I do not feel that marriage is the answer. There are so many children these days who are raised by 2 mommys or 2 daddys, or 2 mommys AND 2 daddys. They all turn out normal, provided you educate them properly in gay and lesbian relationships.
I do wish you all the best in whatever you decide to do.
2006-11-20 10:50:36 · answer #3 · answered by He moonwalked on my <3 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know, there are all sorts of arrangements these days. Tell you what - I'm 36 and wondering if I'm ever going to have a child since I'm single and my clock is ticking. The thought of having a father, with a family attached is much more appealing than going to the sperm back for an anonymous donor. Do you have to be married? Can you just be part of the child's life in a way that works out for you and the potential mother? I can see HUGE benefits of sharing a child with a gay man I don't have to marry. NO, you can't be happily married to a woman in the traditional sense if you are going to put energy and sleep with someone else. THat's my experience (I'm straight but have many gay friends, and have family members who are gay). But an upfront honest relationship might get you where you want to be. Now you've given me a good idea if my current relationship doesn't work out! I wonder if there is a web-site for this...:)
2006-11-20 10:47:02 · answer #4 · answered by J W 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
im sure youv'e heard the saying that "all the best men are taken or gay" my main goal in life is to have a happy home and children, along with a good father for my children, if by golly i cant find a straight guy, i wouldn't mind if i had a good father figure that was a good man to live w, minus the sex ofcourse......
out of curiousity, are you allowing eachother to 'see' other people?
2006-11-20 10:47:10 · answer #5 · answered by TJ815 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i dont mean to be rude but i think you have spiritual problem. how suddenly you started having attraction towards your fellow man. it is disguisting that a man has feelings for a man. how riddiculous that sounds. what is in man;s body that attracts you a man. it is a lady who has got some curved stuffs in her that attracts a man. let us be realistic, you as a man has got your manhood straight and that of a lady a hole meant for the penetration of the straight penis. are we saying nature that made it the way it is or was made a mistake. everything that exists has a male and a female, both animate and inanimate. you have a problem that you may never solve physically but spiritually. i realy feel for you.
2006-11-20 11:33:08 · answer #6 · answered by favourprosperity 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I knew one marriage that was very loving, produced four wonderful children. The woman has to be very special. I.e., a certain blend of male / female - can you imagine what I mean? The man kept his gay activities private until after his wife died.
2006-11-20 10:43:14 · answer #7 · answered by shirleykins 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't see how. marriage is based on love. you can love someone and not be in love with them, but the kids know the difference. i wouldn't want to be in a relationship where the person i was married to only wanted me for the children.
2006-11-20 10:55:51 · answer #8 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If both people are satisfied with the arrangement it may work. Hey! marriage isn't too serious anymore, so give it a try. But is that really what you want? It seems forced.
2006-11-20 10:44:39 · answer #9 · answered by Ferts 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Woman are very complex and I think (secretly) we want our men to ourselves. If your woman woke up someday and said "I deserve 100%" you may have a problem on your hands that WILL without question hurt your potential children. I believe the whole point of marrying someone is to focus completely on them. How could you do that if you wanted something or someone different?
2006-11-20 10:44:07 · answer #10 · answered by alrwk_ 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋