They want to be treated fair and equal but not in family court and child custody where they want special treatment because they are women. I thought that according to them there is nothing a man can do and a woman cannot, so why is the reverse not true? Why am I discriminated against a so called equal rights group because I’m a man?
I have asked these types of questions before and no one has yet come up with any other reason except that since they bore the child they are entitled to special treatment and simultaneously down play my relationship with my child.
Our society tells us not to be a dead-beat-dad and pay for your kids child support and if you don’t (or more realistically, you can’t afford it) you will go to jail. However, when you say, ‘Hey I want half time with my kids. I’m not a dead-beat, I want my children’, these groups treat it as ‘hold on there buddy, when we said don’t be a dead-beat we just meant for you to pay your support like a good boy and see your children
2006-11-20 10:20:14 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
By the way, this is not my situation but it is common. I fought for my rights with my shildren and if ex w had her way this would be my situation
2006-11-20 10:28:37 · update #1
I personally think you have had a bad experience and in your mind make this the norm in dealing with divorce/custody issues.
Me personally, I got custody of my daughters when they were 6 and 10, the court had to garnish my ex wife's wages, and I was treated fairly.
So I don't see why you keep asking this type of question, in your case, yes, you may have/are being screwed over. But that doesn't mean all women and all courts are bad.
2006-11-20 10:24:48 · answer #1 · answered by OleMarbleEyes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not every situation is like that.
I have had the exact opposite in our court system (I am the mother) where the courts tried to grant my ex 3 days a week with our 9 month old, and tried to get me to pay HIM child support.
I'm sorry, but until they are around the age of 3 or so, the majority of the time should be with the mother, that is the way nature intended it, and I don't really care if you think that's unfair. Sure you should be able to see them two days a week or so, and when they are a little older it would be fair for half / half custody.
I think its fantastic that you want half the custody of your kids, and you should keep trying, but don't get in to a war of words with her, and certainly don't let the kids in on it. After a while, when the anger has died down, she'll see the sense in your children having their father around. Trust me.
2006-11-20 10:32:33 · answer #2 · answered by iliketorideigohago 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are learning that justice and fairness are often two very different things.
Instead of fighting with her and the system, fight the fight where it matters, by being the best father you can be for your kids.
If she lies and keeps the kids from you, nothing you say will change what she does.
However...
Living in such a fashion that demonstrates to your children that your ex-wife is 100% wrong about you will win out in the end.
I don't mean by talking her down. What I mean is to be the best you can be, regardless what she says and does. Your kids WILL know, and will probably resent her when the time comes.
Never turn down parenting time, if at all possible, keep asking for more, and document, document, document.
When the day comes and the kids ask why you didn't spend more time with them, tell them that you did, and here is your proof.
I believe the truth will win out where it matters, in the hearts and minds of your kids.
In court, they are just trying to get you off the docket. That is not where to wage the battle. Fight the good fight by being the best dad you can be. Your kids WILL notice.
2006-11-20 10:25:29 · answer #3 · answered by camys_daddy 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure if you can call this hypocrisy, but instead, good sense. If I had access to an undeniably great resource and chose not to use it over something as trivial as a moral dilemma, I would not be a good court prospect. The lawyer will use every opportunity, every angle, every conceivable tool, to win a case. A guys lawyer just doesn't stand a chance because the majority of us play fair. I didn't! I went after my X like she was Satan's spawn. I won, she paid child support, and I stayed in control. Don't be a nice guy!!!! They won't so why do you? Moral imperative?
2006-11-20 11:01:32 · answer #4 · answered by delux_version 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i live in ky and every guy i know that has wanted their kid 50/50 got it . and if a girl / guy goes in to court tring to deny the other parents rights they can lose their own ,if the father does have 50/50 they dont have to pay child support , if the dad just has weekends and the mother makes more money the father doesnt have to pay as much . it goes based on both parents income
2006-11-20 10:28:37 · answer #5 · answered by megan 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree with you completely,seems like men always get the shaft. In alot of cases children are better off with their father
2006-11-20 10:27:05 · answer #6 · answered by jo h 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like you are having problems with your fuel pump
2006-11-20 10:22:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u r ******* god. i agree w/ u completely dude most women dnt want 2 have equal rights they just want us 2 bow 2 them like they had 2 do 4 us b4 they could vote
2006-11-20 10:25:55 · answer #8 · answered by nickizzle4rizzle 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like you had a bad lawyer.
2006-11-20 10:25:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋