I found out that my ex was actually sleeping with her current boyfriend for about a year before we split up. Does anyone have any ideas for getting my revenge?
2006-11-20 10:01:52 · 43 answers · asked by HIMSELF 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
M aybe revenge is not the right phrase for me to use. I just want to do something that will make her look a tw at!
2006-11-20 10:10:04 · update #1
Incidently we do have children but wont allow me to see them,she has turned into a nasty piece of work altogether!
2006-11-20 10:13:14 · update #2
Some you win, some you lose.
You have to try & put this behind you otherwise you'll end up going out of your mind. I realise it must hurt like hell but you can't change the situation.
Other people will do things at times that if we allow them (situations) will totally screw up our heads. Right now you need to find a way not to let that happen.
Unfortunately there's no easy answer to this, you will feel right now as if you've been totally & utterly betrayed & of course you have. Made all the worse because it's come from someone that you loved & trusted (your wife & Mother of your Children)
I don't think the fact that she was already your ex when you found out makes it any easier for you because you were still together when she did what she did.
The worst thing in situations like this is that your future relationships will (if you allow them to) be tainted with distrust & scepticism. You may have to get help to sort this out for you (counselling) before you even attempt to embark on another relationship. Stuff like this tends to rear its ugly head (in our heads) when we least expect it to. If left it can almost take over our lives.
I'm sorry that this has happened. Fair enough if a marriage has broken down or one partner has an issue with the other & things can't be resolved, then arrangements need to be made to split as amicably as possible. To go off & have an affair without sorting one way or the other the relationship we're already in is rank out of order.
Don't let people change you into the slimy scum that they are.
it will only make you unhappy.
You can pretty much be sure of this fact though, & that is, once the relationship your ex is now in hits the bumps that hit every relationship at one time or another, she doesn't have what it takes to sort things out properly & will be moving on to her next beau.
You can feel pity for the Guy she's with now that he can't somehow see that the way she's treating her ex husband & father of her Children, she will one day treat him.
I wish you the best of luck for your future,
2006-11-20 12:46:34 · answer #1 · answered by Funky 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She already is a **** and although I don't believe in Karma she will get what is coming to her, eventually.
If you are interested in seeing the kids write to them once a month, even if they are too young as it will show an interest in their lives, be honest, polite (even to the mum and new partner) and remember to tell them what a great time you are having and wish you could see them, keep copies with the date and get a third party (non-family member and as independent as possible) to verify that you are sending them regularly. It is a painful process but may come good in the end when the kids can make up there own mind to see their father and then you can show them the letters and, if she has not passed them on, they will find out what an incredible ***** she has been! Otherwise, if you show an interest she might relent and let you see them! Either way play nice and either way you have won but fair and square!
2006-11-20 11:04:22 · answer #2 · answered by WeirdNA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The past is done and over with. Get a lawyer and fight for your rights. Put the law on your side! You might want to go to court and double check the paternity of the kids. Above all else be a gentleman and DO NOT be negative around the kids. Don't buy into her taunts and words.
That is if the kids are your concern, you barely mention them. At this point in time they should be number one! Everything else is old news! So are you going to be an absentee dad? Are you so immature as to be centered only on what she has done!
Is it possible that she does have a little on her side. Obsession is a bad path to follow!
2006-11-20 10:31:52 · answer #3 · answered by believer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not nice to discover such a thing.....makes a fool of you. And nobody likes that. Thing is dwelling on revenge can become a negative force in your life. Be positive......move on and find a new love. Not all women will behave as your ex. The children is another matter.......you may have to resort to legal channels to gain access.....but do it...they are yours as much as hers and need to know their father. Work hard at your relationship with them because with such a self centred woman as their mother they will benefit from this.
Who knows revenge may come..... this new guy may well be a dud and hurt her in the end.........we can but hope....but don't obsess about it. Live your life and live it fully and well.
2006-11-20 21:22:49 · answer #4 · answered by eagledreams 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best advice I can giveyou is go to Court to gain access to your children she has no right to stop you seeing them.
Secondly,find someone else and be happy, that will get up her nose more than anything I can assure you.
She's obviously a devious b.... having an affair whilst still with you. You've lost nothing really, except your children at the moment, obviously she is'nt worth a light so forget her, just make sure you build up a good relationship with your children,see them and support them, they will in return bring you much happiness, and unhappiness to your ex who will hate the fact you and the children have a good relationship, and you and her don't because, your happy with someone else. What goes around ,comes around.
She'll get her come-upence, you wait and see.
2006-11-20 18:43:17 · answer #5 · answered by animalwatch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cant really do anything if theres kids involved because she'll proper turn them against you and make you out to be the bastard. And because the legal system is the way it is- she'll have restraining orders served quicker than you can say "sour grapes". Ive been thru pretty much the same as you, and because we've got a daughter i had to act like a saint when really i wanted to drag the bi.tch to the petrol station by her hair and douse her in unleaded whilst menacingly playing with my zippo.........then inject her with the HIV virus and kick her teeth thru the back of her head!!
2006-11-20 14:29:11 · answer #6 · answered by Njd1975 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is common for relationships to overlap. I'm not saying its good, but it happens all the time.
Why bother trying to get revenge? What will it achieve?
You say you have children with her - use your energy trying to establish a relationship with them rather than trying to make her look silly.
Life is short, and children are badly hurt by split ups. Dont make it worse.
2006-11-20 18:45:49 · answer #7 · answered by Caroline 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you have discovered this new information go to the court to get your child custody arrangements changed. Do this on the grounds that she was instrumental in breaking up of the family prior to the divorce. This will make her actions a part of the public record. However, this all presumes that you are very innocent, doesn't it?
2006-11-20 10:30:32 · answer #8 · answered by Brent 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best revenge you can get is to have a good life and show her that the only real loser in this situation is her. Cheaters do not stop cheating except in a life changing experience. they are usually miserable people seeking validation through their affairs.
2006-11-20 11:03:23 · answer #9 · answered by snoop_dougie_doug04 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let it go mate revenge could end up with you having more trouble, which will take even longer to get over. Move on with your life and don't let her see it bothers you. There's more than one woman in the world, go and find one. Move on.
2006-11-20 10:14:42 · answer #10 · answered by evs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋