Ok, this is embarassing, but I hadn't had sex for nearly two years. Well I started having sex again about 2 months ago. However it seems like I don't have orgasms as much as I used too.My sex life was good. Now it seems like it takes forever and thats even if I have one. I love my husband and I am attracted to him, but I don't understand. I also had a baby almost 2 years ago could it be because of that? Please help. Please no rude comments.
2006-11-20 09:47:45 · 12 answers · asked by Susa 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't think its because you had a baby two yrs ago, but I don't know I'm not a doctor. maybe you should ask your doctor. but before doing that lets ask you this. when your having sex do you get on top most women that do have orgasms by riding him? or when hes on top most men do it the 'norm" in and out what most guys don't do is side to side moving there hips to the right to the left they just go back in forth in and out. tell him to move his hips side to side to right then to the left when a man does it like that it gives most women the best orgasms. and if that don't work try playing with yourself and buy some k-y jelly you can buy that at targets, Wall-marts its usually were they sell KO-TeX to let papers,powders etc...if still nothing ask your doctor it could be Hermon's
2006-11-20 10:12:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes comes as a result of no sex and the baby. It'll talke time just ask your hubby to be patient. It'll take time, have him take it easy to start and make sure your are plenty wet before you start. My wife was the same way, it took about another two years to get it going on a regualr patternt for her. Also it hepls if you get all horny and then not have sex, that build up the tension that you weren't having right after the kid.
2006-11-20 09:56:17 · answer #2 · answered by cisco_cantu 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you're anxious about it. if you're worried that you won't please your husband, or that you won't be satistied, it could be keeping you from enjoying yourself to the fullest. just relax. you have a small child also. I don't know if having the baby could have anything to do with the problem you're having, but just having a small child, and knowing in the back of your mind your baby might need you, or wake up crying, and you might not hear him/her because you and your husband are busy with each other could be a factor. it's a perfectly normal thing to put your child first, and you should, but to make yourself feel a little more relaxed, use a baby monitor, then you can hear your child if he/she cries or wakes up.
physically, I think you're just fine, but emotionally, I think you should do a little more relaxing. try a warm shower, or bubble bath to relax you. and relax in the bedroom. take your time and enjoy your husband, and don't be in a hurry. I bet things will get better for you in no time.
I wish you the best.
2006-11-20 10:08:05 · answer #3 · answered by atiana 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it takes time to get your sex life healthy again. Maybe you are nervous because it has been a while. Yes, having a baby can affect your sex drive, body image and awareness, etc.
Just make sure that when you do have sex with your husband, that you aren't worrying about other things. Relax, try new things, and it will probably start to improve.
Good luck!
2006-11-20 09:51:09 · answer #4 · answered by Mrs.Gaddis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe try more foreplay to get you more aroused? Maybe you guys could get some adult toys for him to use on you. That's always fun! Of course, if he's the type that sex is all about getting his rocks off and to h*& with you and it lasts maybe three minutes...well, then it would be hard to have an orgasm. Unfortunately, there are alot of those men out there. If that's the case....fake it...then when he gets up to go to the bathroom....let your fingers do the walking....LOL. Sorry, hope that wasn't TMI or offensive. Didn't mean it to be.
2006-11-20 09:57:36 · answer #5 · answered by me,myself, and I 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your medical doctor on why you have a lack of intrest in sex. Perhaps there is a medical reason for this. But, I would not think that having your baby 2 years ago is contributing to your problems you are experiencing now.
2006-11-20 09:50:58 · answer #6 · answered by HowdyThere 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be patient and concentrate on what it is that makes you have an orgasm. Be willing to share and talk with him if he isn't doing the things to get you there. Most of all, enjoy one another and don't add pressure to the situation. It is a mental thing also, not just a physical thing.
2006-11-20 10:00:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
make foreplay last longer. The more aroused you are, the easier they come. I know from experience that sometimes its extremely difficult. I wonder if pregnancy isn't the cause myself. But if I wait a while before the actual act.....its much easier and better. But you also have to relax. You can't be t hinking the entire time, "is it gonna take forever? will it happen?" cause that makes it worse.
2006-11-20 09:54:46 · answer #8 · answered by kiss me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first step - calm down. 2 years is a long time. Relax, it'll come back to you. gotta "knock the rust out" as I told my GF, who was in the same shape as you. It had been over 2 years for her. Now she's fine. don't worry, it'll happen.
2006-11-20 09:52:29 · answer #9 · answered by mxzptlk 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should talk to your ob/gyn. the muscles loosen and also i think its the cervix can fall causing you to lose feeling. you can do exercises which they can explain better than i can and if that doesn't work then they can give you meds. also, if you need clitoral stimulation they sell stimulation gel, i love it. you can get it on tootimid.com i have shopped there b4, they are a very informative and discrete site.
2006-11-20 09:58:35 · answer #10 · answered by soccer2music 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋