Why is it ok for a man to have a wife and one or more mistresses in western culture, but polygamy is banned? Isn't it more respect for a woman to be a mans wife. Why do people look down on polygamy, but the divorce rate is so high in this culture and the reason for most marriages are infidelity. Maybe the man still loves his first wife, but falls in love with another woman too. Polygamy would solve this. There are also more men than women in the world. Polygamy would allow the other women who would otherwise remain single to get married. What is your opinion?
2006-11-20 09:39:33 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hey, a second wife would be Great!!
Then she can do the dishes!!!!
2006-11-20 09:52:57 · answer #1 · answered by Sunbaby 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, it is not considered ok by most people for a man to have mistresses. It just so happens that they do. It's like asking if it's okay for a man to beat his wife in some Muslim countries like Saudi Arabia: of course not, but a lot do.
I think that Polygamy would be a great idea in the West, if it were compatible with Western culture. Women in the West are raised on romantic ideals of falling in love and living happily ever after. Great ideal, doesn't always work out that way. Still, polygamy is seen by most girls as a step away from that ideal, not a step towards it. In a time and a place where a lot of first marriages are arranged, polygamy makes perfect sense. Why should a girl have to get divorced just because her husband fell in love? And on the other hand, why should a girl that falls in love with a man have to break up a marriage just because his parents picked a girl for him already?
Also, in the west, especially in secular cultures where religion has been more or less dropped from the society, marriage isn't seen as a permanant bond, but as a sharing of resources for a time. If you start throwing in a second and third wife and then the first one divorces, how do you divide up the goods? Many American states have community property laws where, unless there's a prenuptual agreement that says otherwise, the property immediately becomes the property of the couple, not either one exclusively, so when they get a divorce, it's divided evenly. If there's four in the marriage and one leaves, does she get one fourth, or half? And how can either be considered fair?
I think the idea that polygamy would reduce divorce is a little short sighted. People get divorced for a lot of reasons, not just infidelity, and most men who are not faithful wouldn't be faithful if they were allowed to marry, they just would sleep with their mistreess under the pretense that they might get married one day and are dating.
I don't think that polygamy is the solution to the problems you've mentioned, but I think it wouldn't be a bad idea either.
2006-11-20 18:00:16 · answer #2 · answered by Sean J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Polygamy is banned, but depending on the state you're in nothing legally prevents a man from having as many mistresses as he wishes provided the wife is content with it.
20 states do have anti adultery laws, which could be a problem even with spousal consent.
The real issue arises not from the relationship, but what happens when the relationship goes south. How is property split, how are children taken care of etc.
Personally, I believe that polyamory could be a pleasant scenerio, the real issue is that we can't keep things polite and equitable with only two people involved. When you have more, the complications are frightening.
2006-11-20 17:50:46 · answer #3 · answered by Javelinl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not alright for a man to be married and have mistresses. You have completely misinterpreted the situation. It is not acceptable, ever.
Polygamy is an entire lifestyle - one that does NOT suit many people. Women in polygamyst relationships are supposed to cook, clean, stay indoors and generally be downtrodden, despite what that idiotic TV programme says to the contrary. Polygamy isn't just about marrying more than one woman, its about the religion and lifestyle that goes with it.
Polygamy is illegal for a reason love.
2006-11-20 17:45:38 · answer #4 · answered by iliketorideigohago 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think polygamy is illegal in the US for good reason. Imagine trying to sort out the inheritance and taxation rights for more than one spouse!
I think there is nothing wrong with additional sex partners as long as both partners agree it is OK. If they can't agree, NEITHER one should do it.
There are NOT a lot more men than women in the world, it's very close to even.
{And some bigoted people say same-sex marriage would "dilute" the "institution" - compared to this? I think not.}
2006-11-20 17:44:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's not OK either way. What standards are you using to judge the situation? Western society is monogomy only, except in Utah where the men brain wash their daughters to accept it is OK to come second, third, forth, fifth, etc next to her husbands other wives. Have a little more respect for your self.
2006-11-20 18:25:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it is okay. Look at how many women have fled that lifestyle, and how messed up they are. Or the young girls(13 or so) who their fathers choose to marry older men.... can you say molestation?? It is wrong, and should be outlawed. I wish that one day, all the women who are married to these self-serving men will divorce them...all on the same day. Then we shall see if they like it then, when they are paying child support for 30 kids and alimony for 3 wives. WRONG WRONG WRONG. Though it is their choice, not mine.
2006-11-20 17:56:19 · answer #7 · answered by Amanda 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's OK by me. IMHO, the divorce rate is high because we've removed much of the stigma against divorce not because more married couples are unhappy. It is also probably true that children are much, much, much more functional and happy as adults if they have one father and one mother in their life.
2006-11-20 17:49:37 · answer #8 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A woman is not a man's servant. I'll be damned if I'm gonna be someones 5th wife. It is outlawed in the U.S. because women are not seen as objects in our culture. Thank god for that!
2006-11-20 17:58:16 · answer #9 · answered by krystal s 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
way too possevie to share my man with anyone...he is mine, mine, all mine. some woman tries to steal him, there's a butt whoopin' on the way...if he was interested in polygamy, then he could enjoy his new 5 wives...i would be the heck out of there...
2006-11-20 17:42:09 · answer #10 · answered by shasta 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In Utah you may have as many wives as you want. I think I'd move to Utah, but more women equals more problems, so nevermind.
2006-11-20 17:55:08 · answer #11 · answered by Ari A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋