Children before marriage?

Question

I’m writing a paper for my college English class and was wondering if you would share your views and opinions on children before marriage. Now to be clear, I’m talking about planned pregnancies before marriage. How do you feel about it? If you feel its wrong, is it a family moral reason or have to do with religion? Feel free to express your opinions please! Thanks for your help!

Answer 1

Sounds very selfish. Someone who would do that doesnt care about providing the optimal home enviorment for the child. There is obvisouly no commitment between the parents. My question is What is the reasoning for not getting married? So if things don't work out one of them can walk away? What kind of lessons are you teaching that child. Can one person raise a child? Yes, Would two people be better? Yes, Would two people who are in a legaly binding commitment be better than that? Yes, Would a Mother and a Father in a legally binding commited marrige be better that that? YES!! Why would you want anything less than the best for your child? Where have standards gone??

Answer 2

I believe it is not right to have a planned pregnancy before marriage. Why would people want to do that anyways. I feel, if someone is ready to have kids, they are also ready to start a family the traditional way. I'm sure they could wait a little longer, go and have the wedding and then a child. The only exception would be a woman who knows from a doctor, if she doesn't have kids right now, she won't get pregnant. The odds of that happening are slim. Today woman are having kids in their 50's.
Good luck with your essay!

Answer 3

There are actually reasons why people dont get married, and not always due to lack of committment, MY SON was PLANNED, we owned a home, vehicles etc together and wanted a child, our son is the world to us, and at the time we were very committed to each other, a few years later we seperated, due to many reasons, (which was a lot simpler than a divorce) but we are both very involved in our childs life, and share custody.

Many people who get married take marriage lightly and look at divorce as a little obstacle, so lets not get on a moral vomit binge here... My father and his girlfriend have a 16yr old son and have been together for 20yrs, they choose not to legally marry, but have been committed to each other.

Everyone is entitled to their opinions, but I dont think we were selfish or immoral for deciding to have a child and not being married, and I wasnt young and stupid, I was thirty and had a fantastic career, and got to stay home for several years and raise my child. There are many many reasons to get married and many reasons to not.

Everyone is entitled to their own lifestyles and choices, and again many people treat marriage like its disposible, and just a piece of paper.

I am getting married in August, and we are planning to have a child soon after our marriage, and I chose to not live together until we were married. Its each persons decision to have a child, to not, to marry or not to marry.

Frankly whether someone is married or not does not mean the parents will stay together, most marriages end in divorce these days, also what makes you think a single parent cant be a good parent, and provide a happy, healthy environment for their child/children, I have seen people who were married fighting and battling in front of their children, thats not healthy either.

What makes a child healthy is the "parents" whether living together or not, making an effort to raise their child together, and create a healthy working relationship for their child to see that even when mommy and daddy dont live together they can still be there for the child.

Alot of the issues of single parenting stem from one parent taking off, or both parents being to immature to get along in front of their kids, and not respecting each others role in the childs life. Not taking financial and emotional responsibility for their children. The issue is that usually the non custodial parent and the custodial parent, cant put their personal dislike for each other aside, that is what causes the problems.

Answer 4

As long as the family offers financial stability and loving environment, then I see no problem. I, on the other hand, had a child before I got married, and our marriage is strong. Whether you have a child first or get married, that doesn't mean the marriage is fool proof. What about a marriage between two people who have been married before and have children? Is that to say that my step-mom should not have gotten with my dad because he had kids? How come people don't look down on that as opposed to have children pre-marriage? I could look at it religiously, but I am not one to judge. I do not hold the keys to heaven. Good luck on your paper! :)

Answer 5

I don't think it's wrong because now a days a lot of women don't find men worthy enough to marry. They go out and marry 'cause it's the "right" thing to do to start a family. Needless to say, later on, as a result, a divorce will usually end up happening. So, how are you suppose to deal with these "wanting family" urges if you don't have a mate? I'd say just to make sure that you have a good education and career, if you're wanting to become a single parent. Being a single parent is hard, but a lot of women do it. They go and get artificially inseminated. I know some that's just as happy being a single parent than what they would be if they were married to a man that wasn't worth it.

Answer 6

You mean women purposely becoming pregnant before they get married? Many people would say that it shouldn't matter---but to me, there needs to be a commitment established, and I think that if two people want to bring a child into the world, they need to be married. I can understand not being financially prepared for a wedding, but do they think that a baby is cheaper? So far, I have not seen a valid reason as to why anyone would plan pregnancies before marriage.

Answer 7

I personally believe all children deserve to start out with married parents who love each other. Marriage is a commitment and so is raising children. If 2 people can't even commit to each other what hope is there for the lifetime committment a child brings?

Hope you get an A+ :-)

Answer 8

My opinion has nothing to do with religion.

I feel it is a bad idea because if you cannot commit to a marriage, then why in the world are you commiting to another life long relationship -- parenting -- that involves innocent children? In today's society, people seem to take conceiving and rearing children as if it were a hobby they can begin and end whenever desired.

Answer 9

children before marriage .. no not a good idea
Firstly ..they will be bastards .it may be okay for some to say...so what i don't care..but it doesn't matter how trivial ..you wouldn't like to be called bastard ..I certainly wouldn't like it ..
secondly ..people who are not married and live together ..are not fully committed to one another..
they have this doughty in there minds ..or at least one of them has a doughty ..and is not ready..
so there is a possibility they will brake up the relationship and end up being a single parent ..
so the children will not be properly brought up with both parents ..
It may be okay for the adults to live without matrimony ..but it is not okay for the children

Answer 10

Not a good idea. If two people can't commit to marriage then don't commit to a child. It's rare when two people don't commit to marriage and stay together long term. Something is missing there if they don't commit. Just my opinion.