I've only been married a short time but my sex drive seems to have ran off. We still have fun together and I still love him but I'm having problems wanting to want him like I used to. We bought a new house and I'm consumed with bills and obsessed over my weight that I don't even care if I ever have sex again. He tells me I'm sexy every day but I just don't see it. Any advice?
2006-11-20 09:16:29 · 19 answers · asked by truly_insightful 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is kind of difficult to try and think of sex and pleasing anyone, when you know that the bills are due and are struggling to make ends meet. Perhaps, one day just try not to think about it, get some scented candles, a bottle of wine or champagne and after a hot steamy bath just relax and drink it slowly, while watching a movie preferably love or if you are into porn well that should work. Dim your lights and just enjoy your moment with you husband. It wont be easy to let the reality go but at least you pampered your self a little to say at least it is worth it.
Hope it works.
:o)
2006-11-20 10:10:04 · answer #1 · answered by jnd01 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your just tired, that's all. So your (you think) a little overweight. Your husband obviously loves you, just the way you are. Put the bills away for a day, fix yourself up, get a new hairstyle. Get one of your friends to help, ask a sister (if you have one) .. Trust me, your just Tired and Stress-out. You need to Relax. Get yourself excited, plan a surprise dinner with candle light, run a nice bubble bath, put on some good tunes,a bottle of wine. Turn down the lights and have a nice romantic evening. Girlfriend you Lucky and fortunate, look around you. Be grateful for what God and Earth have given you, and kiss your husband every day when he leaves for work and when he come home. It doesn't take much to put the "sparks" back ... if the love is still there.... take my advice, and if that doesn't work, I think you need some therapy, someone to talk to, someone to unload on. Try my suggestion first and let us know. Good Luck darlin, you can turn things around. (if you really want to)
2006-11-20 17:25:56 · answer #2 · answered by peaches 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Didn't they do a study recently and found that the longer a woman is with a man, the less she wants to have sex with him? I think that's just what happens, but maybe there are other things you like him besides just the physical? Hopefully you didn't get married based on physical attraction alone. Does he make you laugh, do you like to do things together, etc.? Maybe the sex part is just going to take a back seat for awhile, but this isn't all bad, it can make for a more deeper relationship. I know sex is fun, but hey, all goods come to an end eventually.
Also, it sounds you have a lot on your mind, so that could be it too.
2006-11-20 17:21:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like it's you, not him. You need to relax and spend less time worrying about bills. Can he maybe help with that?
Also, the weight thing...good body image is essential for enjoying sex. Work out doing something you enjoy, walking maybe if your not hard core. Focus on how you feel, not your weight.
And if he see's you as sexy...you better believe it because he wouldn't have picked you otherwise. I know you can move through this...sounds like a temporary issue.
2006-11-20 17:21:04 · answer #4 · answered by Shebaby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go for long walks and exercise. That will help you with your weight and relieve some of the pressure you are feeling about bills. That is probably one of the reason you have gained weight. You got to find a good outlet for that stress. God bless and good luck.
2006-11-20 17:27:16 · answer #5 · answered by shortansassy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stress is a desire killer--probably the best there is. You're likely to not get the urge back until burden is reduced. I'd bet my bottom dollar you've got some anger built up toward your husband over some of the stuff, too.
2006-11-20 17:31:07 · answer #6 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been married for 7 years and i have 3 kids.Sex drive might get down sometimes, due to the stress caused by routine,money matters, and work. You really have to work on your romance, the time you spend together might be too much about your everyday life.
2006-11-20 17:20:05 · answer #7 · answered by airwimp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same issue with my hubby before, what I did was not too worry too much about things. I was also conscious about my figure after birth so I decided to go to the gym and going on a diet.Lately me and my husband goes to a strip bar just to make things exciting for us.
2006-11-20 18:05:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmm, tough one.
Try "getting in the mood", you know, like sexy movies, music, or pictures. Take a day just to pamper yourself, maybe go to the spa.
then you'll probably feel sexy enough to have some fun, at least for one night!
2006-11-20 17:19:33 · answer #9 · answered by Orange ♥Mocha♥ Frappuccino 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off you have to start loving you. Work out a lil, dress up make yourself feel good about you. Also try to lower your stress level that can put a damper on things itself. Pray girl it will get better!!
2006-11-20 17:26:16 · answer #10 · answered by ncc742 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋