she has used my kids against me and is trying to make me break i have no help and i have my child custody hearing in the morning it has been 5 weeks and i still dont know what happened to my son i feel that my rights as a father have been violated and am asking for professional advice
2006-11-20 08:16:34 · 10 answers · asked by mayhar 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First off, I'm so sorry to hear about your baby dying. That happened to me many years ago and it hurts still.
You have many issues you need to work on. One, you need greif counseling. Not just for the baby but for the loss of your marriage. See if there are any help lines in your area and call one NOW. You have a lot to work through and you probably shouldn't do it alone.
Secondly get a lawyer. If you cannot afford a lawyer call legal aid. Someone else mentioned that too. The courts usually side with the parent the children are with so you need to get on the ball about this. Nobody can help you but you. Stand up for yourself now because later it will look as if you don't care.
Third and finally contact the sheriffs office in your area and see what they know about the baby dying. If a baby dies there is usually a report done. Or you could contact the paramedics in your area too. You have every right to know what happened to your baby. You also have every right to see the surviving children. They need you now more than ever.
You and your exwife should be mature enough to work through this. In the end you're not screwing up your life, your screwing with your kids life and that doesn't seem right. Don't go into court saying "I need to see my children" Say something like "My children are going through a VERY rough time right now, between the divorce and the death of their sibling and they need both parents to be there for them." Try not to make it all about you because then you give the impression that you just care about your own needs. Your children should NOT be dragged through this and I would be outraged if it were me. Unless you were abusive [and I'm not saying you were] you have every right ot see those kids. They need you, you need them.
2006-11-20 08:40:42 · answer #1 · answered by musicpanther67 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's what lawyers are for. Why do you not know what happened to your son. That is public record.I hope you have a lawyer be for you go into court for custody. If not you are really in trouble. . How is she using the children against you. Even if you do not pay child support she can not deniy you visitation . Mention that when you go to court. Try to get shared custody.. she has them during the week & you have them every weekend. Make sure you keep up your support so she has no reason to take you back to court. GOOD LUCK
2006-11-20 08:30:26 · answer #2 · answered by BUTCH 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a professional by any means, but am a father of 3. I know that you DO have rights as a father. I know that right now you feel like you are at the bottom of the barrel, but things will definitely get better. You have to hang in there for the kids. Keep doing what you know is right in your heart. Don't let the anger or your sadness bring you down to where you feel like you have to retaliate against her. Again, I'm no professional, but from a father to another father, hang in there for the kids and do what you know is right in your heart.
2006-11-20 08:25:57 · answer #3 · answered by N8TV 1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In this country - she has the overwhelming favor in getting the children. Once you get the state involved, it is very difficult to get out, so if you and your soon-to-be-ex can work something out independent of the devastating state guidelines, do it. With the divorce and family court system heavily tilted in favor of women, and with no-fault divorce - fathers are ripe for the financial picking. The man all-too-often loses half or more of everything and is relegated to a visitor in his children's lives while being forced to pay high child support for many years to come. Mothers have the support and encouragement of the entire system to go for and get everything that they want in a divorce. It's why women with children initiate divorce nearly 3/4 of the time in the U.S. It's why the divorce rate is hovering somewhere around the 50% rate. It's why women are awarded primary custody of the children more than 80% of the time. The states get financial kickbacks from the federal government for child support collections, which is why the man most often is relegated to visitor status and made to pay CS through the state's enforcement division. Follow the money and realize the great financial incentives which exist in the billion-dollar divorce industry (yes, it is an industry) and while the overwhelming majority of losers are fathers (and children).
2016-05-22 00:49:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a lawyer, that is the only professional advice you should rely on. You also need to find out what happened to your son.
2006-11-20 08:45:01 · answer #5 · answered by krystal s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not lost..
Best way to mend a broken heart is with a new love...
It appears that your wife is now going to be your "EX"...
Fathers don't usually get a fair deal out of the courts...
2006-11-20 08:21:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do need professional advice, but you won't find it here. You need a lawyer. If you can't afford one, you need to call Legal Aid.
2006-11-20 08:18:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i just wish the best for u and your children
2006-11-20 08:33:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
omg poor you
2006-11-20 08:21:05 · answer #9 · answered by can u ♥ moi? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol
2006-11-20 08:19:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋