Let me first tell u im 15 yrs old and i met him when i waz 11 i think.. well newayz i met this boy and we fell in love.. he went to jail and im just now findin out that he went to jail cuz he molested a child...my momz keeps telling me that i wont be no good and i will live in the ghetto and i wont live a happy life. I want her to understand that i make my own choices in life and even tho he did wat he did i am happy with him.. hes gettin ready to turn 17.. ne wayz my mom calls him "slow" but i love him for who he is and i think itz bad enough he has ppl judging him but he needs my love and support.. and i do think its wrong for what he did but i love him with evreything.. and like i said b4 if u cant be nice and help me explain to my mom that i can make my choices by myself then dont awnser at all... please be nice and no im not "playing"... please help.. even if u dont have a good day
2006-11-20 08:16:17 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
and sorry 4 the misspellings
2006-11-20 08:16:39 · update #1
You're only fifteen years old. You have so much more to your life than this guy. you need to understand that he is a sexual predator and is very unlikely to change his ways. Just imagine if you had a child with him and he started molesting your child. You're young and your heart will heal, please move on. Do this for yourself. Finish school, go to college and then worry about finding the love of your life. You deserve someone better than him.
2006-11-20 08:47:17 · answer #1 · answered by FormatLife 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you aren't going to like this answer, but I am trying to help, so, here goes...
First off, no matter how much you think you do, you probably don't love him. At fifteen, there is no way that you know yourself, and you have to completely know yourself before you can know another person well enough to love them.
Second, if you did love him, or anyone for that matter, you can be happy living in the 'ghetto.' Money helps, but it doesn't make anyone happy. If I was dirt poor, but had the best people in life around me, I would be happy.
Third, to be perfectly honest, the fact that you are okay with him molesting a child makes me wonder more about you...not him. If you decide to be with him, you may want to talk to a counselor about this issue. Chances are, you think you love him, so you make what he did seem okay. I bet if you had a chance to really think about it, with no one around to change your opinions, you would realize that molestation is never ever 'okay.'
I'm sorry that I can't help you stand up to your mother, but, I honestly believe that she is probably right. She has a lot more experience than you, and trust me, its not that she doesn't want you to be happy, its that she loves you and wants you to be safe, and wants the best for you.
Ultimately, there is someone wonderful out there for you. Someone that you will love after you have been through this experience.
Also, think of it this way. If you were with this boy, and you had a child together, could you honestly live your life without worrying that he would molest YOUR child....?
2006-11-20 08:28:29 · answer #2 · answered by missmiranda212 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not judging you and I cannot give you a way to explain to your mom that you can make your choices. I hope that you can be open minded to hear what some of us may have to say since you want us to be open minded.
All I will say is that I hope you do make wise choices because the choices you make now will follow you for the rest of your life. Think this through CAREFULLY. How would you deal with it if you married this young man and had children with him and found out he molested one of your children?
Maybe you can talk to a counselor or therapist to get some suggestions? Or even an older relative or friend. REmember that most likely your mother does have your best interest at heart.
Give yourself time. You have your entire life ahead of you and right now you have all the options in the world.
enjoy being 15 okay?
wishing you the best and you have a good day too. :)
2006-11-20 08:24:05 · answer #3 · answered by Sugah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you're old enough to make your own decisions, but think long and hard about the decisions you make. I'm 20, so I remember very well being 15 and in love. But seriously, think about it. Can you really see yourself in 10 years with this guy, with kids and a family? I would say get away from him, a child molester? What if you two had kids? Do you really think they would be safe? You're only 15, so you have plenty of time to figure out what you want to do with your life, but just remember, your mom has been there and done that. She doesn't tell you stuff to piss you off and make you mad, she knows the danger of these guys. Trust your mother, she loves you and only wants what's best for you. If you decide in a few years that you still like this guy, talk to him, but my bet is in a couple of years you will thank your mom for not letting you make that mistake.
2006-11-20 08:22:44 · answer #4 · answered by ~~kelly~~ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, when we're 15 (or 14 or 16 for that matter), we think we know everything.....what we want, who we are, what's best for us. Believe me, we don't!! I was 15 when I got pregnant and married. Although I was very mature for my age and my husband was 18, it was very difficult. Needless to say, the marriage didn't work out. We were way too young to deal with adult situations. How you feel at 15 is not how you'll feel at 21.
Also, if he molested a child, remember that child molesters will very rarely ever be "cured". If you had a child together, there would be the probability he would molest that child. If this guy is in trouble and needs love and support, be his friend. You are still a child (though you may not feel like it) and need to live your childhood before you get involved in adult situations. When you get older, you'll be glad you did.
2006-11-20 08:30:28 · answer #5 · answered by carlav60 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey you can't see what you can't see and you don't know how much you don't know.
Even if the way your mom is telling you what to do is insulting you need to remember that she has been alive a lot longer than you have and you have many idealistic and unrealistic fantacys about what life with this man would be like.
You are so very young. Surely there are other males who catch your fancy and another one you would like to date.
You may be hiding from the truth when you defend this guy.
I will not call him names but I do urge you to give more thought to what you will do with your life.
What will you do if and when he cheats on you? This is most likely to happen so don't tell me he would not do that coz he likely WIL do that.
What if he gets arrested again for messing with another child?
You were a child when he first messed with you and you seem to be still under his spell... please wake up and at least become willing to look around at the other fish in the sea...
You are too young to pick just one now.
2006-11-20 08:36:52 · answer #6 · answered by John Wilson 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't expect people to always tell you what you want to hear. Listen, I dated a guy for 31/2 years. after a year of dating him, i was head over heals in love. He and his mom revealed to me that he got wrongfully convicted of molesting children and served some time. I was like 17 and I believed that he didn't do it and I still loved him. The rest of the relationship I couldn't help but pay attention to how he acted around little kids. I still loved him. We moved in together after we had been going out for 21/2 years. Later I was browsing on my computer, I was looking at the history and found out that he was looking up child porn and saving it onto my computer. Of course we broke up because that's so awful! It's weird because there is still apart of me that cares for him. He is now in jail for molesting a girl and he has been there for the past year. What I'm trying to say is the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. Have you thought of having a family together? Are you worried about putting your children in that situation. From your child's eyes, his resume does not seem too incredible. If you still want to be with him, he has to have some heavy counseling. Just think about it.
2006-11-20 08:28:59 · answer #7 · answered by Mel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweety you are 15...you haven't lived your life yet....you don't know what is best for you. its your mother's responsibility to care for you and make sure you make the right choices for your life. when you are old enough to be on your own (18yrs old..at least) then you can do what you want. but you should think about graduating high school before throwing everything your mom has ever taught you out the window. I am speaking from experience its not fun and I have come a long way from that "young love" that i thought i had. so listen to your mom...she's been around a lot longer than you and knows what the real world is like.
2006-11-20 08:23:49 · answer #8 · answered by Get_R_Done_n_Dallas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my gurl you have your hands full don't you and I bet you get ALOT of responses to this, because once a molester always one And I am not saying your bf is not a good person to you but it is a disease that there is no cure for and he is young really young to be just starting these sinful things All I would worry about is if you stay with this man and you have childeren with him what then..... Think about your future and your kids if you have any later in life gurl just be really careful........ And I hope the best for you and your bf. But honestly I will pray that some other good man scoops you up while he is away, just because you deserve the best in life and your mom does tooooooo I promise she loves you and cares or she would not be saying those things..... SHE LOVES YOU !!!!!!
God bless you in what ever you decide. Either way I wish you the best
2006-11-20 08:23:24 · answer #9 · answered by angel b 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the problem here is the "quality" of your choices and your lack of maturity. To choose to get involved with a pedophile is pretty unhealthy. And that's what your mother is worried about. He will have to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life, which will affect his ability to get a job and will affect your ability to get a good job and a nice place to live. Most sex offenders can't find work and are pariahs in the community. Therefore, if you hitch your star to his, then you both will be shunned, and avoided. If you have children with him, then it's possible he will molest them too. The "repeat rate"for sex offenders is very high. In other words, they can't be "cured" of preying on children. I'm sorry that this isn't the answer you wanted, but very few people would encourage this relationship to a pedophile. I feel sorry for your poor mother...
2006-11-20 08:26:09 · answer #10 · answered by cheyennetomahawk 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋