i have a 3 year old daughter and a 7 month old daughter but i have just found out i am pregnant with my 3rd child. i love being a mother, and i love my children to pieces, but i dont know if i can do this! i have a very supportive partner, a nice home, and a big supportive family but im undecided.i am only 21 but being a mother is all i have wanted, i manage very well i have a job and stil have time for my family.i dont like the idea of a termination but im not sure that going ahead with the pregnancy is the right thing to do.i have always wanted at least 4 kids but trust me when you get on your way you soon change your mind.i will take any answers into consideration, but i will not let thiese sway my decision i just want a few points from other people perspective.thankyou.
2006-11-20 08:15:58 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I became pregnant a couple of months before I turned 21, and I definitely considered terminating the pregnancy. I was barely halfway through college, struggling with credit card debts, and my boyfriend and I weren't going to get married until after I graduated and moved closer to him. I had a few "good" reasons why I wasn't ready for a baby, but then I got to thinking... I really don't think it would be a decision I could live with for the rest of my life. It's not something you will ever forget. You will always wonder what the baby would have looked like, what it would act like, what it would have been when it grew up... And for me, I knew that I wanted to have children with my boyfriend one day anyway, and we wanted to get married anyway, so why not now?! I knew that if I terminated the pregnancy, then had children with him later, that I would live my life as a mom knowing we had killed our first baby. You said you have a good support system and you definitely have practice being a mom, so I think you know what to do. Once you realize that it's too late to decide whether or not you want another baby, your maternal instincts will kick in and you will be ready for a third child. Just plan ahead next time and look into getting your tubes tied! You can do this!
2006-11-20 08:38:20 · answer #1 · answered by MamaWomack 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You now what i felt the same way I am now 25 yrs old but at 21 i had my 1st child and i was pregnant again before i was 22. Then after that i became pregnant shortly after and i was stressing like you are and i lost the baby. I regret stressing over it yea its hard but i just think of it has hey if god whats it, it's meant to be and now at 25 I'm pregnant again and due in 10 wks. Keep your head and if you don't believe in termination that's great, or even care for it. If you feel you can not do this have you ever thought of adoption? Because I personally know a lot of women who did do the termination thing and it still bothers them, They have all told me if they could take it back they would. The only thing I'm going to tell you is don't do anything you will regret just think it over and talk to your partner and then decide. I hope this helps.
2006-11-20 08:25:34 · answer #2 · answered by Louisa F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you can make the decision that is right for you. Termination or not. The thing about termination is you never forget that you did it, and you never forget how many children you would have had - and what if something happens to you and you can't have anymore kids in the future.
Termination is taking the easy way out in a lot of respects, and it really is killing a fetus that was alive one minute and out of your body the next. I'm sure life would be easier if you were not pregnant yet, but in your case, a mom of 2, I don't think you could live with a decision like that.
2006-11-20 08:20:43 · answer #3 · answered by GirlUdontKnow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm 24, I have a 5y/o and 8mo old and immediately got pregnant again.
I was so upset about getting pregnant so soon and I just couldn't believe it. After a little bit I got used to it (after the panic went away) and I started getting excited. I picked out another crib, a bedding set and was thinking of names.
Then at 18 weeks my obgyn couldn't find the heartbeat and I was induced.. my son was born still.
I swear to god if I could go back I would just love and accept him from the beginning. I will forever feel the guilt that I didn't love him enough and caused it to happen. I couldn't imagine actually going through with an abortion at this stage in my life.
I suggest you talk with your partner about any concerns you are having and once you discuss HOW this CAN work you'll feel a lot better. I wouldn't wish my guilt on anyone.
2006-11-20 08:21:41 · answer #4 · answered by iampatsajak 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would go ahead and have the third, but make sure you didn't get pregnant again until you were ready. talk to your doctor about all the different birth control methods (there are many). I just don't think it's really fair to make the new one suffer for your mistake. It sounds like you have a good support system, so go with it. Children are a blessing -- even when you want to tear your hair out! ;-)
2006-11-20 08:19:34 · answer #5 · answered by Luckiest_Wife_EVER 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Young kids can be very overwhelming, but just keep in mind that after a few years you'll have a bunch of really neat older kids and you'll be young enough to both enjoy them and move on to other things like career or whatever. I think it is a big advantage to do what you're doing -- compared to the 35 year olds I know who are now having their first kids, totally disrupting their careers and lifestyle. Go for it and hang in there!
2006-11-20 08:30:06 · answer #6 · answered by Julian A 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't kill it. that's all abortion is. its not the baby's fault its in your stomach. its you and your husband/boyfriend whatever. if you are sure you can't handle it give it up for adoption. you can even have a open adoption if you still want to be in the baby's life. i know someone that got a abortion when her sister died cause she didn't think she could handle it and she said there isn't a day that goes by that she doesn't regret it. she said if she could go back she would have the baby. ABORTION IS MURDER. WHAT IF YOUR MOM KILLED YOU CAUSE SHE COULDN'T HANDLE IT?!?!?! just think of it that way. yeah sure the baby doesn't know about it right now but it has been proved they feel pain. no matter how far along
2016-03-29 03:05:36 · answer #7 · answered by Gail 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well right now I have a 3 year old and and 7 month old and I always wanted 5 kids but I decided to wait until I got my life together but it sounds like you have your life together, but I would never have an abortion, I've seen someone go through that before and if you love your kids to death then that might hurt you, well good luck to you and my support in your decision
2006-11-20 08:28:50 · answer #8 · answered by justme 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep the baby just get fixed after this one and be sure you have no more for awhile witha strong support system you can do it.
2006-11-20 08:19:35 · answer #9 · answered by Leah's mommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
of course keep the baby..think of it as just another challenge in this unpredicatable life of ours...but not a bad one a good one...you never know if you'll be able to have more kids in the future..anything can happen...
2006-11-20 11:10:38 · answer #10 · answered by last3member2002 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋