My fiance of 2 years is leaving me because he believes I have cheated on him. I HAVE NOT!! He said if I tell him why and that I did it he would stay. Well, I tried that before. He has a recording of him and I and the TV. He says that it is not his voice and that I had two guys here. I am not that type of person. I have been cheated on and know how it feels. I couldn't demean myself nor could I hurt him. I have done everything I could to help him and us. He had major surgery at the begining of our relationship and when his disability ran out I supported him financially and encouraged him to do good for himself. He finally got a job 3 weeks ago and now he is leaving. I know he is just insecure because in all of his major relationships the woman cheated on him. He thinks I am into weird stuff and I am not. I just want to spend the rest of my life with him and have a normal happy relationship. I am heart broken as I can see his is because of what he believes.
Additional Details
1 day ago
He has been cheated on and he doesn't have a high self-esteem. I am klingy and too nice. I must have something to hide right. I told him to take the tape and have it analyzed it would prove it. He also has used drugs on and off during our relationship as well as the last 10 years. I was helping him quite. He has such great qualities when clean. I can't have him attack my morals on a weekly or every other week basis.
2006-11-20 08:04:24 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Honestly, in my opinion it sounds like this guy may have been using you to support him finacially and emotionally. And I hate to say that, because really I can't pass any judgements on your relationship as I don't know you or your fiancee, but just from the details you have given with him being out of work and then as soon as he gets a job he wants to call it quits! He may not even believe this, it may just be his way of breaking it off with you, without having to tell you the truth!! I'm so sorry you are having to go through this, but no matter what the truth is, no one ever deserves to be accused of something they haven't done. And if he can't trust you enough to take your word, you are better off without him! No one should ever make you feel bad!!! Especially with how supportive it sounds you have been to him!!!!!
Good luck!!
2006-11-20 08:12:27 · answer #1 · answered by Sandy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
O.K. You win, there's something wrong with him. Not terribly wrong, but still enough that he's not telling you the truth. If I were told to analyze the tape, I would seriously have second thoughts to my distrust. And if I choose to continue to distrust (I really wouldn't though) I would have it analyzed! It's not that hard. Best thing I can say is, now that he is making his own money, he feels no need for you. Which would then show you that this relationship is never going to be a give and take. Only a take and take, and take some more relationship! I know for a clingy personality it's terribly hard to let go of a relationship. Why don't you just try for awhile though? Start dating and maybe you will not have to settle for someone like him. Who knows, Mr. right might be right around the corner?
2006-11-20 08:17:04 · answer #2 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Letting go of a Person that we Love is so difficult.
We love the person despite the stress, the abuse and the unhappiness. We get hurt over and over.
Then one day, we realize that we have made a terrible mistake in judgment.
You need to end this relationship with this man...Today or tomorrow or the next day, but you must end this relationship.
After you do end this relationship, you will be lonely and perhaps even depressed.
Not all relationships are meant to be. The Drug use and the money issue that your Boyfriend was involved in, not to mention the Video issue....show huge red flags as to the Man's character and his respect and even love for you.
You need to move away very fast from this relationship, despite the pain of loosing a Lover.
Lovers are very special people, as we know.
Very soon, you will realize that this was the best decision that you made for yourself and your sanity.
Good Luck to you and God Bless.
2006-11-20 08:31:49 · answer #3 · answered by Mav 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl please you can't believe the sh!t that you are talking , he is a bum he used you until he got back on his feet know he is out the door hello , wake up and see it for what it really is. he is full of sh!t and you know it to . why would you even entertain his nonsense . he no longer needs you and this is his exit. he is turning the tables on you and make you feel like it was your fault . grow up and see this for what it really is he is leaving and he is using you as the reason instead of telling you the truth. and the drugs what's with that why would you want to be with someone that's still using drugs if he is still needs help then more then likely he is really not trying sense it's been off and on for the last 10 yrs and your no help buy keep making excuses for him. start fresh and let him go if he really loves you and if he really cares he would stop the bullsh!t and see that you love him all the rest is just a druggies ploy to suck you into his madness until he needs you again.
2006-11-20 08:23:53 · answer #4 · answered by sexyswells42 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like he has major trust issues. If he is doing this over a tape that he doesn't believe is his voice can you imagine how he would react if you came home 30 minutes late from work because you ran into an old high school friend? A little jealousy is healthy for a relationship. Alot of jealousy can kill it.
2006-11-20 08:14:30 · answer #5 · answered by knite_hawk1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are confused and need some time apart from him. He may be trying to walk away from you, but is not man enough to tell you that. There is too much drama in this relationship and it is taking away your peace and happiness. As hard as it is, allow him to walk away, if only to give you time to think about everything that is going on. As long as you are in the middle of all of this you will not be able to keep a clear mind or make rational decisions
2006-11-20 08:20:40 · answer #6 · answered by ladyc 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he will always believe things that aren't so, also if he is using drugs it might cause him to have some thought disorder going on. please do not keep seeing him, move on. he will always find things about u, that u aren't really doing, he is sick in the head. focus on your own life and happiness and not on this troubled man who will cause u nothing but heartache. sounds like a paranoid type of person if he is always attacking u. this is a preview of your life with him, is this what u want your life to be like? sounds as if he has some mental issues going on and u might want to distance yourself from him, because life with him will always be this way, he won't change, but u will, u will have a bad life, with alot of stress, your choice if u want this, but you deserve so much more than him, get some help with your self worth to find out why your with a man like this. has to do with your self esteem.
2006-11-20 08:16:14 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-04 04:29:58 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like he is just looking for an excuse to leave anyway. I would tell him that you haven't ever cheated and then give him his space. Live your life and if he comes back, then make it contingent on him trusting you. If he can't, then you don't have a relationship anyway and it's his loss!
2006-11-20 08:07:58 · answer #9 · answered by Sharon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Choose the freedom. How long you want to stay with him is your life and choice. You have some sicko for 10 years - what good left for you today to face and feel - nothing only headache. Bye.
2006-11-20 08:11:17 · answer #10 · answered by Toto 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋