My bf who i am engaged to i am 18 so is he thinks i am living in the future because i save my money and a good portion and i budget my self with my checking account. I work for my moms landscape design company/ real estate as an assistant secratary i make 8.00 dollars an hour 10 hrs a week as of now because its winter. I have about 1300 dollars in savings and a little less than 200 in my checking account right now. I want to do something in buisness or communications wich are my major and minor right now in college. I now that most likely i will have to live in N.Y.C for a little while like my cousins did or commute i live in NJ. So i have set aside a savings account to start saving for when i graduate so i have money to live on my own .He keeps asking me for money though because he has no job and dropped out of school.
2006-11-20 07:55:35 · 26 answers · asked by Jenny R 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Its not that i dont love him its just that i have to pay for my cell phone/personals and am paying my parents in installments for my car insurance so i have bills to pay even though my parents pay for my tuition.
2006-11-20 07:57:43 · update #1
Do not give him any of your money. Your doing the right thing and you should continue to save that for your future. You sound like you have a head on your shoulders and are thinking about your future while he is doing nothing with his. Dont let him drag you down. And please please please dont get married until after you graduate college. He WILL drag you down otherwise.
2006-11-20 07:59:07 · answer #1 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you ever have a question about finances then just sit down with a pen and paper and write down a 1 yr, 5yr, and 10yr budget plan. 2 people can't survive on 8.00/hr even at 40hr a week. Well you can but it would suck. Just think about a fun friday. Movies 2 x 8.25 Popcorn/drink 5.00, Dinner Afterwards 2 x 15.00 thats over 50 bucks right there. Then throw in some rent. you will be lucky to get a one bedroom stuido in NYC for 500 and that is for a dump. plus water, gas, electric, internet, cable, cell phone, and don't forget grocerys 650-700 bucks MINIMUM/month. What about your parents and siblings birthdays/ plan on buying them gifts? Want some new clothes? running shoes? CD's I could go on and on and on. If he can't see the importance of future plannning then your only going to go as far as he is. He who doesn't live in the Future, Has no Future. you cant "Wing it" forever! I'm not saying dump the guy, but you guys should do some major planning and make sure you guys have the same living standards for yourselves and a future family. If not, dump him fast, and Don't give him money. Explain to him, had he saved himself, he would have money to survive on while he is out of work. Tell him to grow up and act like a Man!
2006-11-20 09:00:19 · answer #2 · answered by Gyasi M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem here is one of differing values. There's a Aesop fable you should read: The grasshopper and the ant. You are clearly an ant and have goals and are planning ahead. Your boyfriend is a grasshopper who lives in the present and doesn't plan for the future. In his mind, he can live off you. You might want to re-think marrying this guy. He is 18 and seems far less mature than you. A guy who asks you for money, who has dropped out of school and doesn't work is a loser. You sound like a winner, and deserve to be with another winner. Good Luck!
2006-11-20 08:00:04 · answer #3 · answered by cheyennetomahawk 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to get a job. It's not your place to support him. Personally, I think you could do better. You have goals and ambition and he doesn't even have a job? He's a high school drop-out and not to be mean, but he will probably never be anything more than he is right now. Is that what you want? I'd say find a new boyfriend. Don't give this guy any more of your hard-earned money or your very valuable time. Good Luck.
2006-11-20 08:01:05 · answer #4 · answered by Lotus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what? That sounds like a similar situation I was in when I was 18. I had a boyfriend like that who always asked for money and it was sooo pitiful! Wish I had left him earlier!! It was a waist of time because now that I am 24 I realized so much! I am married now to a very beautiful and hard working man with high ideals and would have not found him hadn't I made right decisions.
You are a VERY smart and intelligent woman who is thinking for herself and in doing so you will be in the position to help many in the future. Your efforts will pay off in the long run.
Leave him and keep working hard at what you are doing and in time (TRUST ME PLEASE) you will find a man who is on the same wavelength as you, someone hardworking and strong. Don't settle for these types of guys, they are like leaches!
Good luck to you and your future! Be the type of person you would like to find in a man!
2006-11-20 08:04:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm, I know you might love him but it just doesn't sound right. Are you sure he's in love with you or does he love what you can give him? I used to date a guy like that and people tried to tell me but I wouldn't listen. I only realised what he was after once I'd made a clean break. If you both are really in love then surely he'd understand if you just explained it to him. If you can't get it out in words try a letter so that you can say everything that you need to. Maybe he just doesn't realise all the other pressures that you have on your finances. If he doesn't take no for an answer I'd say he doesn't respect you half as much as he should.
All the best to you. I hope it works out.
2006-11-20 08:03:02 · answer #6 · answered by Elisha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I realize that it isn't because you don't love him. If he wants you to prove that you love him by handing money to his lasy ****(no offense), then why would you want to keep him around. He thinks you are living in the future because you save money....how futuristic of you! You seem like a very mature person and he may be trying to bring you down. In fact, he is bringing you down to his level, and you should not be. Keep on saving your money and tell him that if he wants money, he can get a job like everyone else. Don't buy into his crap. I understand you love him, but at a certain point it will not work....when the money runs out. Maybe he will change...hope so. Good luck! :)
2006-11-20 08:04:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lose him today. Planning a way to achieve your goals is the only way to achieve them. He wants to marry you but he doesn't plan to provide for either of you. You sound like an intelligent young woman. You have goals and a way to reach them. Don't let him hold you down. Taking money from your savings so he can have some dope money while he plays PlayStation with his friends is absurd. Find a guy like you, an achiever.
2006-11-20 08:06:07 · answer #8 · answered by burny mc 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you see in this chump? You sound to me like a mature sensible young woman who wants a life after teenage and is planning for just that. The guy you are with is a deadbeat he seemingly has no scuples either. I would never dream of asking my partner for money nomatter how much i needed it. This guy sounds immature and lazy. my advice is You are much better than he more mature and have a great deal more foresight than he ever will, so don't listen to his whining. be who you are. If you dont hun you will be carrying his lazy behind for the rest of his life or yours.
2006-11-20 08:04:53 · answer #9 · answered by Cff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have a good attitude about wanting to have a career and save money and your not afraid of working for what you want. Your boyfriend is a bum and if he wants money he can get a job !
By the way, you need to learn how to spell and use punctuation - it leaves an impression that you don't want to be taken seriously (which I do not believe to be the case).
2006-11-20 08:02:13 · answer #10 · answered by jarhed 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes i understand the thing which you are trying to make me understand in an understandable way which is quite un understandable but still understandable which makes me to say UNDERSTOOD..
2016-05-22 00:37:38 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋