He has used excuses that he was in pain, depression, etc. Now he says he's looking for a job but it's been almost three months since he was fired and still nothing. I can't afford my doc appointments because I'm supporting us both and he gets angry if I tell him I'm going to spend money on a doctor. We've been together for 15 mos. now I want to leave him but he lives with me, has no job and no money and I'm pregnant. He gets angry when I ask him when he is going to work, very defensive and says he's doing his best. He sleeps all day and when I get home from work he takes a nap to avoid conversations. I have told him to leave before but he says I'm pregnant with his child so he's not going to go. I work full time and I'm trying to find a second job to pay for doc bills, etc. He doesn't seem to care, as long as he gets his "spending money". I'm going out of my mind, I've told him the reason I'm so angry with him all the time is because he won't work but it doesn't seem to help.
2006-11-20 07:50:45 · 20 answers · asked by ? 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you need to get out of this relationship while you still can. If he gets angry at you because you are spending money on your doctor appointments then how do you think he will act when you spend money on that bag of diapers or jar of baby food. He's a bum and he's lazy. Any man that would lay on his butt and let a woman support him is worthless. Trust me on this one... I'm a man. Go to a friends for a few weeks and have the utilities shut off at your place. Is his name on any of the bills, lease etc?? If not. Check with the local police about having him forcibly removed. Your main concern should be your child. Don't take away from your child to support a deadbeat.
2006-11-20 07:57:05 · answer #1 · answered by knite_hawk1 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like you need to decide what is more important...the unborn babe or a loser who doesnt act like he is too worried about you and the baby. Stress does a number on a baby. Born or unborn. They feel more then you can imagine. I have four wonderful boys and I can say that you really need to make a decision about this guy. There is alot of people out there to help and if he doesnt care enough just kick him to the curb. It is not an easy choice to make but you will feel so much better when you decide that you and your unborn are the most important and NO ONE is going to take that away from you...there are alot of jobs out there today and almost everyone can work if they want to. WANY being the key word...Congrates on the baby...Good lucky with the other one!
2006-11-20 08:04:22 · answer #2 · answered by bbmk333 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U betta call de police for he.... Seriouly though kick him to the curb. I have a baby who is ten months and my bf got fired just before he was born he does not have a full time job but he goes and does odd jobs, paints, cuts grass all sorts of other things. So that I do not carry all the brunt of the finances. You either need him to get a job NOW or he needs to get out NOW he can pick one of the nows but you cannot support him and pay the doctor buy the babies things and still take care of yourself unless u are a millionair ane u aren't. So all the talk about he isnt leaving cause thqat is his child good thaqt is his child pay for your doctor fees buy things for the new baby, things are not going to get better unless you do something real fast they wll only get worse. So get a job or GO!!!
2006-11-20 08:00:11 · answer #3 · answered by Joyann R 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, a father has almost no right in deciding over his unborn child. All legal decisions are up to the mother. So you don't have any obligation towards him just because you are pregnant with his child. You will soon have a child to take care of. He is a grown man who should be able to support and feed himself. You must first look after your child and yourself. When the child is born, you will need every single penny. Don't let him drain your finances. It's obvious he's not really looking for a job, but just bumming off you. Remember, you have NO OBLIGATIONS towards him. Why are you giving him spending money? Get rid of him! I know it might be a tough decision for you, but you need to take care of yourself. You want to be able to pay medical bills and baby supplies.
Ask yourself: Why is this guy still in your life? He does nothing to support you or contribute to your happiness! He doesn't look after your wellbeing, he doesn't help around the house, he has no motivation to get a job, he doesn't support you AT ALL. Why do you still keep him? He is his own responsibility, not yours. Why do you let him live in your house for free? Trust me, you don't need a man to raise your child. You're better off doing it alone, especially when the father is such a bum. He does nothing to help in any way. Don't fall for it when he tries being sweet. Come on, think for yourself! You know better than all of us why you still keep him around, so honestly ask yourself if he's worth it, if he contributes to your life in a positive way.
2006-11-20 08:05:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I must agree with the rest and say this, I left my bf of more than a year when I was 4 months pregnant for exactly this reason. If I must be the only one providing for my child, better that I focus on supporting myself & the baby... NOT the 20-some year old child!!
It was the most difficult, and BEST decision I ever made.
2006-11-20 08:01:47 · answer #5 · answered by zmj 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you really want this example for your child? I won't get into all the ways to avoid getting pregnant in the first place until you are ready to have another person to support. The most responsible thing for you to do now is kick him out!!
Your man will be nothing but a financial and emotional drain on you forever! Get rid of him now before it harms your baby too.
2006-11-20 07:55:32 · answer #6 · answered by Bev 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dear you are pregnant with your child you do not need the added stress that he is causing you. You need to kick him out. You can not be the one to support him. You need someone to be there for you and your baby. If you have to have your dad or a male friend come and tell him to leave. Can you go somewhere else? You should not be made to feel guilty about spending your hard earned money to go to the doctor's for check-ups.
I hope things go well for you. You need someone who can love and take care of you.
2006-11-20 07:55:27 · answer #7 · answered by Denise G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What you need to do is just get up one day and leave. If he wont go then you go. Why the hell are you giving his good for nothing @ss spending money?? As you can tell your so called boyfriend doesnt give a rats @ss about you or that baby! He is just using you so he can mooch of you. He needs to get off his lazy @ss and be a man and start being responsible. If he cared about you he would be working and trying to support you and his soon to be baby. What an @ss hole!! Leave him girl just leave him!!
2006-11-20 07:55:37 · answer #8 · answered by . 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Another prime example of why one should marry before shacking up. You can't even divorce the bum! I would not give him anymore "spending money" and start covertly looking for a different place to live. Hope your name isn't on the lease, cause if it is, he's taken you for a ride in more ways than one. How can you live alone when you need to take care of a kid? How can you live and take care of 2 kids? That's what you will have soon! If you really love this bum, then find a job for him! Really! Look in the want adds, send in a resume' for him, and as soon as he refuses to go check out a reply, kick his butt out saying he is just another baby you'll need to take care of.
2006-11-20 08:03:16 · answer #9 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Send the guy out for a jug of milk,while he's gone throw his stuff out on the lawn and change the locks on the doors. When he comes home tryin' to get back in...you can politly tell him it's over,he's a grown man and needs to find his own way in the world....as you now have a child to think about first,before yourself and a lazy guy......
2006-11-20 07:55:33 · answer #10 · answered by vanislandwitch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋