I was in a abusive marriage. I stayed because I thought I was doing the right thing for my daughter. So when she said mom divorce him I can't stand when he hits you. So I did. Thats all It took. He also cheated on me several times and my daughter knew about that. I have been divorced for almost two years. She has now moved in with him(her father). Its like he is everything and Im nothing. He has never been a father to her. The thing about all of this is he had the money and I didn't. Did she go with him for that reason. Because he buys her anything she wants and I couldn't do that anymore.
2006-11-20 07:36:06 · 18 answers · asked by theresa kay 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You've been the all-in-one (mom, dad, friend). He'll never change. Yeah, he may have money, but he'll remind her why you left him in the first place and she'll come running back.
She must have forgotten what he did to you guys.
2006-11-20 07:39:17 · answer #1 · answered by E B 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry! Try not to take it personally. She's just a teenager, after all. Try to remember being that way. I know it's hard and hurts feelings. That's not her intention. I too am going thru similar situation. The money won in the beginning, and is still winning even tho kids think he's an ***. Maybe you can bond w/ her later. I didn't bond w/ my mom til later. Give her time and try to talk to her w/ as much patience as possible. Still be mom, tho. Not too much friend. Still needs mom.
2006-11-20 07:48:45 · answer #2 · answered by mauiniki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say it, but that's probably the reason; money issues. She may be materialistic and since that's what he's able to provide for her, she'll go for it. That's what makes rich men have women, even if they don't truly love each other. They think that money can buy them happiness, but that is until reality kicks in and they find out that money can't buy them happiness even though they have anything they want. I hope this helps and I'm truly sorry for your situation. If you would like to talk more on this subject, feel free to contact me, hun.
2006-11-20 07:41:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should let her choose. I wanted to live with my Father in WOburn Mass. when I was 16 for a lot of reasons and I hold a lot of resentment towards my Mother and stepfather for not even having an open discussion about it. It was all about THEM. Maybe a year of highschool in this other place will make her come back a changed person with perspective.
2006-11-20 10:10:23 · answer #4 · answered by Kris 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had nearly the same situation. My daughter wanted to be with her dad because she could get away with anything as he had no rules. He also bought her pretty much what she wanted to make me look bad. She was 16 and he was buying her and letting her wear very slutty clothing, etc. He didn't care what she did as long as it didn't affect him or his social life. He only wanted to make the point to me that in the end she would choose him. Ver sad, I know, but they will come back.
2006-11-20 07:44:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That would be the logical answer to this situation. She wanted to be able to get the things that she wanted and all the other kids her age have. I would try very hard not to allow this to hurt your feelings, she will be back. I am not sure when however, she will need you at some point you are here mom. Just be patient. Good luck and God bless****
2006-11-20 07:40:03 · answer #6 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps she has lost respect for you. Are you saying that you havent had a conversation with her asking why she moved in with her father? How was she able to do so without your permission or you at least knowing why? I hope you dont regret divorcing the abusive assshole.
2006-11-20 07:39:21 · answer #7 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe everyone could use some counseling about abusive relationships.... it seems she is falling for the snare of money too!
Often it's used to keep females bound to abusive men (even if it's there own father).... because they(women/girls) think they have to have all the things their friends have.... "things" are nice but one shouldn't sacrifice self esteem, good judgement or personal safety just so they can look good.
2006-11-20 09:03:36 · answer #8 · answered by jaimestar64cross 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, 16 year olds are not exactly known for their great judgement. She probably went there for silly reasons. He is still her father, and she will love him no matter what he does, to you or anyone else. If you are the better parent, she will see that when she gets older and respect you for it. Just give it time.
2006-11-20 07:39:13 · answer #9 · answered by qamberq 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope. She went with him because she is 16 and knows everything. She will come around eventually. Don't judge her and don't take it personally. Live and learn. 16 year old girls like to push your buttons, is there a bigger button she could push? Be supportive and loving, the best mom you can be - then just wait. She will be back. Men like that can't be nice for long......give them all the rope they need......
2006-11-20 07:39:55 · answer #10 · answered by Chula 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋