Why do boys in Egypt have pre-marital sex so easily but condemn girls who do the same thing?

Question

Isn't this a double standard? I mean egyptian guys will go and have sex with girls and then condemn the same girls for sleeping with them. They then say they want to marry virgins!!! Why the double standard?

check it out http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/4708461.stm

Answer 1

I absolutely agree that we have a double standard on this issue here. Religiously speaking, and most Egyptians (both Muslims and Christians) are quite religious, pre-marital sex is condemned for both males and females. However, tradition has it that "a man is a man, and he can do what he likes, but a girl's honour is like a match stick; once burnt can never be as it was again." Of course, not everyone thinks this way, but the vast majority of families here give far more freedom to their sons than to their daughters.

As an Egyptian girl, this really, really bugs me.

Answer 2

Egyptian male here. It is true, but not as bad and wide spread as you might think nor as the report suggests.

I also have to be fair, that this problem does exist and has existed for a very long time. I actually think males are becoming slowly but surely more open minded about sex than the past. I fully agree that it is a form of double standards and I do not in anyway think it is right, but you also need to know the other point of view.

Males tend to see them selves as more sexually liberated. They can have all the sex they want and they have nothing to lose. Why? simply because there is no virginity at stake. On the other hand, males tend to refuse to marry a non-virgin because it is a custom. There is always this talk that if she did it with u, she can do it with hundreds of other guys, in other words non-virgins are automatically labeled as sluts.

Again, I do not agree with the above point of view, but this is how some males think.

Sad but true

Answer 3

Well,I totally understand your point but i just want to say that the majority of the youth don't have a pre-marital sex.Because first of all its prohibited in Islam,i think in Christianity too,and they know that very well.second its about a moral issue and depends on the respective to your principals,
For example : Imagine if your wife,sister,girl friend is no longer virgin cause she sleeps with that man today and the other tomorrow and another one next week,what would you do?Would you marry that girl that is having a lot of sexual relations because she loved a boy today then they broke up after a year then she loved another one and did the same,How many relations she had under the name of loving this guy?Do you bare to marry with a woman that had more than 2 or 3 relations?
keep in mind that both of guys and girls know that its prohibited and causes a lot of diseases like AIDS.They have to take care of that point,its not just a strong desire,that he shouldn't be blamed for being a boy and having such emotions.
God created us with a mind,emotions to control and mange our life and not to let that emotions and desires control and guide us

Answer 4

The article doesn't say a majority of young people are having sex before marriage, but that it is a GROWING minority. It also identifies this phenomenon with a particular strata of Egyptian society: the "liberal, intellectual elite."

I attend courses at the American University of Cairo, and being on that campus is such a striking contrast to what is out on the street right outside the campus walls. On the Metro on the way to school, and on the streets around Midan al-Tahrir near campus, most women wear hijab, a few wear niqab or the burka, and a few don't cover. On campus, it shifts dramatically - most girls are uncovered, and during the summer months, wear incredibly skimpy clothing - exposing shoulders, arms, midriff, cleavage, some leg. Boys and girls hold hands, embrace, even kiss on campus. I imagine this is the segment of society the article is talking about, and while I have of course never witnessed actual pre-marital sex taking place on campus, AUC is definitely a society apart from the mainstream of Egypt. After school, they are whisked away in private cars to their exclusive neighborhoods in Heliopolis, Zamalek and Ma'adi. They're definitely not walking to the subway and then to Shubra or Imbaba.

As far as hypocrisy, all societies have their share of hypocrites. It's not fair to say all boys or all girls in Egypt - this is a small group. But it is fair to point out the hypocrisy of those few who do engage in pre-marital sex and then turn around and refuse to marry anyone but a virgin.

The other answers on here are fascinating, and point to a deeper problem in Egyptian society. The government here does not encourage data collection, to put it mildly. If a reporter wants to know how much garbage is collected in Cairo on a daily basis, and he asks the government, the government tells him that that is a state secret. You can't just go and put a lifestyle survey out on the street - you'll be arrested for espionage. To gather any kind of information here, you have to have permission from CAPMAS, an organization headed by a general from military intelligence. Academic research proposals go to CAPMAS to die of old age.

So other than the Mukhabaraat, no one knows what's going on in Cairo - everyone has his or her worm's eye perspective, and that's it. So of course, your perspective on who is or is not having premarital sex in Cairo is a view limited by your personal circumstances, who your friends and family are, which neighborhood you live in. When the government limits the flow of information like it does here, it's harder to have a shared, consensual reality.

But I agree with the intent of the questioner - it's a tough problem. The sexual assaults that occured over the Eid al-Fikr highlight the volatile nature of the problem, the intense sexual frustration boiling under the surface, a problem everyone seems to be in denial about. How to reconcile the fact that every ahwa in Cairo seems to be showing Haifa's scantily-clad video? The malls are full of mannequins wearing outrageously scandalous outfits? An Egyptian journalist friend of mine sees Egypt on the brink of revolution, as Egypt struggles with coming to terms with Modernity.

Answer 5

look it does happen here in Egypt

but also you have no religious to do such thing -to have sex- with no marriage.

it is well know why a man rather marry a virgin , but I will not talk about that now ...


but the question is why he have sex before marry in the first place ?!!!


it is that he do not have that respect to himself or his religious to do something like that without fearing of ALLAH , and most times he fears his Parents & family more than ALLAH


if he is a good person he will only do what he can do in front of anyone , only the right things will be done then .....

if he believe truly in ALLAH he will not do anything- that he do not like to be in his wife-..to any girl ...

i think no one want any one to have sex with his wife or daughter , so he should not do thatt...-even if these days it is easy to have sex-


ALLAH may forgive us all

Answer 6

If you have repented then there is no condemnation for your past sins. You are washed clean, and your sins are removed as far as the east is from the west. This is Godly truth. Now walk with God in that certainty, and if you slip, confess daily. But do your best not to slip!

Answer 7

I read the article and it is totally blowing things out of porportion.I am Egyptian and I have lived in Egypt all my life .
I have never done that and I have never witnessed any of my friends do that.Or even anyone I know.I swear.
It's something disgusting and we are no pigs. We can control our desires.
Only people with no pride and no self-respect do that and it's natural that they are rejected by the rest of the society.


Addition:
This is so unfair wallahi to say that about Egyptian men and women. Maybe some people do it , but that doesn't mean that it is a majority , that doesn't even mean that their numbers are to be taken into consideration.
Egypt is a conservative country, and what you are saying is horrible.

Answer 8

That's what i call a pure model example for the definition of Double Standards. and it's worldwide spread.

Answer 9

this happens everywhere, but in different scales!!

men in europe for example, they have sex with the girls whenever they can, but they say that they don't want their wives to be that easy or to be slutty or anything like that, ofcourse it doesn't matter with them whether they r virgins or not, this is the scale difference i am talking about, but its the same way of thinking

Answer 10

Good question. Men have affairs with non virgins - so there are no virgins. Then they look for virgins and they don't find one so they end up by marrying a non virgin. Simple.