mother and daughter issue?

Question

ME AND MOM DONT GET ALONG AT ALL WE DONT TALK OR NOTIN AND WHEN I TALK TO HER I FEEL LIKE I CANT TRUST HER SHE DOESNT LIKE TO LISTEN AND I WILL BE GOING AWAY FOR COLLEGE AND I DONT WANT LEAVE ON BAD TERMS WITH HER ! HOW SHOULD I HANDLE THIS!

Answer 1

Sounds like the situation is too deep to simply resolve before going away to college. I suggest that you tread lightly around her until you leave (so not to aggravate the situation more) and when you're at college, do your best and make good grades. I'm a parent and knowing that my kids are doing well in college is a great gift. Although you two may not be getting along on day-to-day issues, I am sure she will be very proud if you do well in college. This could be the ice breaker you need to start improving your relationship.

Answer 2

Hi,

It sounds to me like you and your mom talking is not a new issue and as you are going to college soon it has been some time that you have not been talking. You can only take care of your part in the relationship. There are many ways of letting your mom know what you need to say.

- Write her a letter
-Tell her you would like to sit down with her befoe you leave and find a quiet spot to enjoy some time together

-Simply tell her how you feel...(sounds easy, never is). Letting someone know how we feel with the risk of getting nothing in return is very hard. This is about you and what you need, so as long as you let her know how you feel in some form, you have done your part. You and your mom may never break this communication form or you can do something different and start the change. Just remember, she may not be as accepting of change and may react in a way that is not what you want or expect. Listen and watch yet do not take it personaly. Reactions are due to personal experiences and are never about the other person.

Hope this helps and good luck, I think it is great that you want to improve communication with your mom and it is never too late. Communication is a key factor of keeping family together.

JD

Answer 3

You can't fix this sort of thing overnight. But you are right, you should leave on a positive note. That will help you in the next part of your relationship; some family members get along better when they aren't with eachother all the time.

Just to be sure though, do you listen to her? Do you ask her how her day was when she gets home, and listen and really think about things she says? I would identify the issues which you "don't get along" about, and analyze why. Why, and then, how can I fix this, or at least put it aside so it doesn't hinder our relationship? Sometimes taking a step back and really looking at things helps to make them clearer.

Get advice from an aunt or family member who knows the family, and who you can trust; they will be able to give you a fairly impartial and helpful view of things.

Answer 4

Hey Girl!!! U and Mom just need to take some time off from your busy schedules... U need to sit down and talk. Ask her in a nice polite respectable way what her expectations are and you could tell her yours too.

First thing is please BREAK THE ICE!!!! Before you reach a comfort level where you're able to express your thoughts, wishes and ambitions please start communicating!! Li'l steps to start with.... Help her out in whatever way you can coz it counts for them that you're interested in making it together! Why not get the groceries or just go out shopping together, catch up a nice movie or lend a hand at the garden, clear things up after meals or help chopping the vegetables whenever you can or once a week whatever suits you too. Experiment with new recipes.

have fun and don't get the envirionment cold. Appreciate each other. Value and respect their point of view too coz after all they mean to see you as the BEST!!! Remember they carry knowledge out of their experiences in life and their age, so always respect them but if your opinion differs explain to them patiently show them the logic.

Discuss, Analyse and Sort out the problems together.

Looks like there's already some time that just went by.... so before you become strangers to each other please discover the joy of a lovely relationship - the only kind between a mom and daughter!!!

Answer 5

When I was in high school my mother and I didn't really get along that well. Once I graduated and moved out things changed alot. We talk more now than we ever have and things couldn't be better. Plus, I just recently had my first baby and trust me you need your mother more than you know. So try to patch things up. One day you will need her.

Answer 6

Best you can do is be honest with her tell her what you are feeling, don't do it out of anger let her know that you care about your relationship with her. Remember it's going to take more than just one conversation (in my case it took more than a year) The trust issue will work itself out over time. And if things don't work out at least you tried

Answer 7

Why not go someplace nice and sit down and talk? Both of you have some feelings. GBU for not wanting to leave on bad terms!

Answer 8

Tell her what you just wrote down. Maybe you think you don't get along and your mom is really there or maybe you could clash but she is your mom, so communication is key in every relationship.

Answer 9

Everyone will feels that way you r not the only one, but towards the end your mother will be your best friend and will be there when you need her no matter how much you hurt her

Answer 10

Sit down with her and say "Mom, this has been a tough time for both of us. I'm sure that my time away will make us both appreciate each other more. I love you."

Or something to that effect. Trust me, your time away WILL make you closer.