she is 16 years olds and pregnant and wants to keep it but i'm her mother and know whats best for her so what should i do let her keep it or make her give it up
2006-11-20 07:08:57 · 27 answers · asked by 01/08/85 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Its not really your call, you can explain to her the pros? and cons, but it is her decision to make
2006-11-20 07:11:02 · answer #1 · answered by bayareart1 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She is 16. Two years away from being an adult. If you make her give it up she will hate you for the rest of your life. And you are dreaming if you think you can make her do anything. She will keep the baby whether you want her to or not. The question will be will she let you remain a part of her life if you try to make her give it up. I was 17 when I had my daughter. I was too young, but the reality was I was pregnant. I was also homeless and had no one. Now I am successful, have a BA degree and make great money. My daughter and I went through alot (she's 14 now). I have no regrets. I wish someone had been there intially just for emotional support to tell me it would be ok. And you can tell her it will be ok no matter what decsion she makes, that you will still be there for her. Your goal, I'm guessing is that you want her to go to college, get married and get a good job. She can still do all of that if you are there to help her.
2006-11-20 07:16:48 · answer #2 · answered by Chula 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can see both sides. I was 16 when I got pregnant...but my mom let me choose what to do about the baby. I have a beautiful 7 year old now...I have raised on my own. I have a great job, an education....and my daughter. She was my sanity when I wanted to give in. She is what made me keep on. I honestly don't know what I would have done if my mom would have told me I had to give up my daughter.....I think that would have been far more heartache for me. BUT..each case is different, and when my daughter gets older, I hope she doesn't put me in the same situation I put my mom in. I think I was allowed to choose what to do because I was mature, responsible (funny to say if you are pregnant at 16), and smart enough to weigh all of my options.
I just hate the fact that it is the girl that is left with the burden of figuring out what to do...and her family is expected to help. What about the boys who are getting young girls pregnant?? They need to held responsible also!
2006-11-20 07:20:24 · answer #3 · answered by amanda r 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am all for choice for the person.
If you make her get rid of it she may never forgive you. Everything happens for a reason. Yes maybe to you the right thing would be to get rid of it or have it given up for adoption, but remember this is her body and her baby. So ultimately it is her choice.
As her mother you need to sit down with her... even with a theripist or someone else she may trust... and have an ADULT conversation about the whole situation. Talk to her about the cons and PROS... Remember this is a life in HER hands. Do you really want to get rid of your grand child just because you think she isn't ready? Do you really want to possibly lose your daughter's respect? It is a hard decision, but remember the consequences to abortions. Also remember the possible consequences to adoption.
In the end it will have to be her choice.
2006-11-20 07:15:54 · answer #4 · answered by xxkittenluvxx143 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wel, i think that it's best to let her keep it, because it's her first child, it could have been an mistake or planned between her and her boyfriend, but it is her choice, it would help if u explain her risk that she's taking, no more going out, work extra hard, school. But she is going to be the one carrying the child a mother is supposed to support her daughter in every way and love her no matter what she does. I hope that you dont take this personally but i have had experience.......But you must know
Good Luck!!
2006-11-20 07:18:03 · answer #5 · answered by natasha 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ultimately it is her decision, not yours. When it comes to HER child she is the maker and will and can decide what she wants to do with this baby. You have no right to force her into things, she and you will only regret it later. Just calm down and let time help you both to think. But keep in mind, forcing her will only make her go farther and farther away from you. She made this baby, and that means she is old enough to care and have this baby.. Sorry you are going through this and it is hard on BOTH of you. But in the end things will work out. Good Luck!
2006-11-20 07:13:06 · answer #6 · answered by sshhmmee2000 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I got pregnant when I was 17. Keeping my daughter changed my life. i would let her keep it if I were you but tell her that the baby is her responsiblity. She can finish high school. I did. Also to get an answer you feel good about you can always pray.
2006-11-20 07:13:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
as mother to mother...I'd say to keep it...what is done is done...help her through it and talk to her ...let her know that she won't be a teenager no more ..tell her all her responsibilities she will have as a mother and make sure she still goes to school ,,,never give up your own flesh because in the long run you will regreted for the rest of your life....remember, " A baby is a blessing"
2006-11-20 07:15:46 · answer #8 · answered by guess 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, you might want to talk with her one on one about things. Tell her how must responbility it is and how hard it is going to be on her. Do her a favor and don't water down how hard things are going to be. You can't make the decision for her, but you can tell her what all it's going to cost her. Explain to her the opnions she does have, but don't be one of those parents that let's their daughter walk all over them.
You might want to research the laws in your state about parental rights since your daughter is still that young. See what legal rights you have and that she has as well.
2006-11-20 07:17:02 · answer #9 · answered by clarnely_2001 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you have to ask lots of questions on that first. 1) is the father willing to help? 2)does she have the maturity and economic stability to raise it? 3. Are you willing to be the baby's Grandma? 4.) can she marry the father of the baby or do you not approve? These are judgements you have to make yourself. If she cannot keep it, put it up for adoption, it has a right to live, just like everyone else.
for encouragement, listen to ttb.org
2006-11-20 07:14:33 · answer #10 · answered by stick man 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Although she is only 16 it is her life and decision. Many communities offer classes on education in this field to let her know what she is up against. At this point I feel all you can do is be supportive for her.
2006-11-20 07:14:38 · answer #11 · answered by Diana D 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋