Should I start looking for another woman first to take her place, or propose divorce first and then start looking for a replacement afterwards.
2006-11-20 06:52:00 · 20 answers · asked by STEVEN P 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Do your wife a huge favor and file today. Poor woman.
2006-11-20 06:54:40 · answer #1 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You want a divorce and you are already worried about replacing your wife? No respectable woman is going to want to be with a man who hasn't cleaned up his messy home life first. Divorce your wife and give yourself some time to meet the right girl after you are free from the committment of marriage. Maybe if you put some effort into finding the right girl at the right time, you won't end up in the same place six months from now.
2006-11-20 07:03:59 · answer #2 · answered by Katie Rose 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is there any chance of reconciliation? Can you both go and talk to someone? I think that you should look at righting what is wrong rather than a replacement. Why take the commitment of marriage if you (and she) are not taking this seriously?
In answer to your question - if you still want to go forward, propose divorce first, then after you split you can look for a replacement.
2006-11-20 07:05:41 · answer #3 · answered by linniesue 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi Steven,
Being dissatisfied in your marriage is typically a reflection on yourself. I learned this the hard way.
If your present marriage is not completely fulfilling than you might want to start trying to figure out how to make it better. Most 2nd marriages lead to divorce and then a 3rd marriage and then a 4th.
Unfortunately, divorce is not the solution to your problem. Figuring out what has changed since you first fell in love and then trying to get back to that place is the answer.
I'd like to recommend you take a look to see if this group has a weekend retreat coming into your area http://www.familylife.com - I have seen marriages on the brink of divorce saved through their very simple philosophy. You'll come out of it with renewed love and vows for your wife.
There is also another website I'd recommend you look at the Prodigals Perspective to see what happens with your thoughts and life after a divorce -- http://www.rejoiceministries.org
There are also some really good books out there. One is The Five Love Languages - this one really gave me some insight into what I was needing to feel loved and to be able to do the same for my spouse.
Sorry if others are bashing you. I know you are in a battle with your flesh right now. Be strong & perserver to do the right thing for you, for your family, for your children born or unborn and for the future of the world.
My prayers are with you.
2006-11-20 07:10:57 · answer #4 · answered by karaborr 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no offense but... while you are debating on if you should get a divorce or not ...another woman should not be whats on your mind... do u have kids with this lady? if so.. you may want to rethink the "new lady" idea. it sounds like you are a needy individual that feels as if he always has to have a significant other to thrive. focus on why THIS relationshop has gone sour before you drag some new person into the mess.
2006-11-20 06:56:48 · answer #5 · answered by apple martini 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't go behind your wife's back and look for a new women first settle everything with your wife and get a divorce then look for someone new.
2006-11-20 06:55:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you are even having the thought of replacing her before you get rid of her, then the problem is not with her it is with yourself. You might have a problem with co- dependency, which means that no matter who you find...you will not be happy. Before you hurt her, try some counseling. Try not to get down on yourself to hard about having the thoughts that you are having, but please try to get some help for them. Not only could you be helping her, you would be helping yourself.
2006-11-20 07:04:31 · answer #7 · answered by Lena S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get the divorce first. when the right woman comes along....you won't be looking for her at the time anyway.
2006-11-20 07:01:43 · answer #8 · answered by Bella 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Settle your divorce first.
You do not look for a replacement but a true love of your life.
2006-11-20 06:54:58 · answer #9 · answered by Bright 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Stop thinking. Do your wife a favor. Give her time to find a replacement.
2006-11-20 07:02:56 · answer #10 · answered by Donna 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋