I purchased "the rabbit" 2 months back (and might I just say wow!) but my boyfriend discovered it the other night and to my suprise he was actually offended and told me that it made him feel inadequate and he would rather I didnt use it.
I tried to reassure him that its only for when he isnt around and for a little fun and I enjoy him more then I do the rabbit, he still thinks I should get rid of it...is this how you would react? I dont know if its normal or not. I was expecting him to maybe make a few jokes or try some new things but he just shyed away and became argumentative. He even said it was asif I was screwing another man...which I felt was wrong! please let me know your honest opinion! thanks
2006-11-20 06:41:25 · 19 answers · asked by moomoo 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Frankly, I don't see what the issue is. My question to him would be: "Do you NEVER masterbate?" to which I doubt he could say that he never does. It's the same thing. he should be glad that he has someone who enjoys the aspects of being a sexual woman. He shouldn't feel threatened by it. Maybe you could introduce other toys (ones that get used on him) and make your sex life with him more adventuresome. It's meant to be fun. Why is he so insecure about it? It's definitely not as if you were screwing another man. Good luck, and enjoy your sexuality.
2006-11-20 06:46:52 · answer #1 · answered by sassybree1979 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We are all products of our inherited traits and the social and moral conditioning we were subjected to as we matured into more or less independently thinking adults. Many of us have not been able to shake some of the rigid and often senseless codes that were imposed on us during the process. Many of us still feel and think that the prudish and often shortsighted rules we learned have a real value in our lives and continue to hold them dear even if they cause us turmoil. We often rather go with the flow and suffer the consequences of these beliefs instead of readjusting our set of standards to fit the needs we have.
Your partner may feel inadequate because this is how he was brought up. It will take some coaxing and reasoning to allow him to see and accept the reality at hand. The fact that you acquired a toy that causes you to feel sexual pleasure should not be a reflection on his performance or lack thereof.
One of the ways you can facilitate the idea is by asking him if he masturbates. In essence, if the answer is yes, is that not the same thing he claims you are doing ? If the answer is no, he is lying to you because he may see where you are going with the question and will want to play it off on you.(99.9% of healthy men masturbate)
If you wish to pursue the relationship with the less friction possible, try getting him involved in some sensually delicious foreplay; you him and the 'rabbit'.
Many times this type of toy really spices up the ralationship. It has nothing to do with his preconcieved notion of adequacy; it has to do with experiencing the most pleasure at any given time, not every time, with the 'rabbit' or any other adult toy.
2006-11-20 07:14:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know my boyfriend had the same type of reaction when it came to vibrators. I don't own one and I never have used one before, but I have mentioned it to my boyfriend as just a suggestion to try something new. He was not having it! He reacted as if he was jealous of a vibrator! We have a very healthy and normal love life with no complaints on either end. But any kind of vibrator is out of the picture. I think it has to do with them feeling insecure and thinking that a vibrator will please us more than they do, which I don't think would ever be true. You can't compare a man made thing to the real thing right? But I think your guy just has some normal insecurities and it may be best if you just keep it hidden away from him and spare him any details of fun that you've had with you rabbit. It's smarter to just keep him happy and not hurt his feelings. If you really can't give up your little friend, tell him you threw it away and never let him find it again.
2006-11-20 06:51:05 · answer #3 · answered by devious805er 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes!
I would feel the same way, ashamed and disappointed, but if I'm not able to spend a lot of time with you, I would understand. Honestly, I would try to find time for my girlfriend and I to be together more often so she wouldn't have to result to masturbation. I think your boyfriend went a little too far by making you think your 'toy' is the same way as screwing another man. A toy isn't as enjoyable as the real thing, in some cases-not mine; we all masturbate, with or without equipment.
Since your boyfriend seem like the jelous type, it might be best to dispose of it; or, if you two love and respect each other enough, come up with an agreement so you won't have to result to 'mechanical satisfaction'.
2006-11-20 07:07:05 · answer #4 · answered by D 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Ya know, men are really protective / territorial when it comes to their women- but it's okay for them to go get lap dances, cheat, and watch all the porn they want... and we're supposed to just accept it. Ha! My husband reacted the same way when I came home with a vibrator one night. I've noticed that unless it is their idea to buy for you- or they were there or all of this was discussed before said purchase, it's not okay. I'd hold your ground, honey.... those things aren't cheap- but explain to him that you enjoy it and you can't understand why he doesn't like it.... maybe that'll open more discussion.
2006-11-20 06:52:43 · answer #5 · answered by KC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well does he jack off? How is that different? he can't always be there for you when you are in the mood, and vice versa. Honestly, if you can't have that, then he can't take care of himself either. But I can see where it would offend a guy. You know how sensitive that some of them are. It's just the other way around in my marriage. He loves it when I tell him I got off on my own. But if he ever tells me he did without me. OMG!!!!!!! But I only get mad because I always want it and it's like he wasted it and I wasn't there to make it happen for him. I know it sounds hypocritical, but it comes from love I promise. I want to be the one to get him off whether I get any or not!
2006-11-20 06:49:29 · answer #6 · answered by Snow 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your boyfriend is lacking in confidence. I went out with my misses and we bought a rabbit together. We get it out when we are together sometimes. I like using it on her as much as she does. Perhaps you should get him to use it on you. Maybe then he wouldn't feel so threatened. By the way she tells me she prefers me to her rabbit any day , it's just a bit of fun. No substitute for the real thing.
2006-11-21 01:17:17 · answer #7 · answered by SilverSurfer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a couple of vibrators that my hubby purchased for me... He loves them, as well as I do... One night try putting on a show for him with the little rabbit...That should change his mind. If it doesnt, tell him at least you are using that instead of another man!!
2006-11-20 06:46:43 · answer #8 · answered by mommyx3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's uptight if you ask me. I'd probably ask to watch / join you if I was in that situation.
Funny, since he considers this cheating, I assume that he doesn't masturbate while away from you for awhile? If so, wouldn't he be cheating also?
He's obviously insecure about the whole situation. Just re-assure him that what you're stating is true. If he can't get past it, then he's not as compatable with you as you thought.
2006-11-20 06:48:41 · answer #9 · answered by tipper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It won't make a confident guy uncomfortable. But if a guy is shy/self conscious he may be scared you like it more than him. Will all depend on the guy. For me, my wife can use it with me right there, I don't care. It just all depends on his state of mind.
2016-05-22 00:11:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋