My husband is on Second life whenver posible. He gets really jumpy when I get to close to him on the sofa when he's on it. I've seen him go to clubs on it, and yes, he is very sneaky about it. I feel like I'm in the dark about this whole thing. I need to talk to another person who is in the know about second life, or had their spouse behave the same way.
2006-11-20 06:19:28 · 21 answers · asked by sammy s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have a good idea now about second life. Should I comfront him, or should I just sit on what I know or have a feeiling about?
2006-11-20 10:34:03 · update #1
All I can say is I am very sorry for your situation. I have been on Second Life for less than a week and can tell you that if someone is looking for an on-line relationship of any kind....they can find it on SL. And if someone is curious about exploring another life-style...there is definitely a lot of that too.
It's not a bad place for those of us who use it to be social or play RPGs (Role Playing Games...like Star Wars) or those who are looking for a little fun.
There are all kinds of innocent diversions... like shopping, dancing, meeting new friends, etc. I think there are a lot of people on Second Life who are there to set up a business or be creative, to escape from depression or disability, or to have a social life when Real Life doesn't provide what they are looking for. That may include a relationship of an adult nature, which is part of the 'game'.
But there are also those people whose interests take a decidedly 'mature' theme. There are 'mature' communities where everything under the sun is ok... from nudity (of your Avatar), to porn, and every thing on the spectrum of sexuality is accepted. There are homosexual characters and bisexual characters, those involved with 'furries' or animal-like people, and even people who pretend to be children for the purpose of having 'taboo' relations. I don't know that it's hurting anyone but those involved (only those over age 18), and I'm all for the consenting adults rule.... but I also know that people's Real Lives can be affected by what is happening in SL.
I'd start by asking your husband about SL, express an interest in getting online yourself maybe... see what it is like for yourself. Your husband may be "cheating" on you... but only you can define what that means. For some, Second Life is just a game, for others, it's a lifestyle... and they get very emotionally involved. If you consider a lack of intimacy and the presence of another 'relationship' (be it real or virtual) to be cheating... you need to confront your husband with your concerns.
If he is unreceptive...go to an internet cafe or friends house and log on yourself. See if you can find out his "name" in the game... and he may have more than one, so try to find out. Opening up the Second Life icon on your desktop will bring up the logon page.. he may have left his name in the form. You can easily creat your own Second Life and track him down..look at his profile.. find out about his interests.
This is something that needs to be dealt with for the sake of your family... you need answers so you know how to act on them.
Good luck... if I can be of help (in RL or SL)... contact me on my website.
2006-11-20 15:12:48 · answer #1 · answered by Ket-Su Jhuzen 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Basically, yes, if he's not having an affair on it, he's doing something he shouldn't be doing, or he would be more open about it. Second Life is just that, a game where people have a Second Life - they can do what they can't achieve in the real world, ie. multiple partners, cheat on their wife, dominance/submissiveness, etc. It's crazy. I'd talk to your husband, and if he is still secretive, or gets extremely defensive, then pull the cord! I play Second Life every once in awhile, but I prefer to have a life outside of the internet. Lots of people get very sucked into the game.
2006-11-20 06:46:20 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is the second time I've heard about this place in half hour and before that i didn't even know it existed. Don't jump to conclusions about your husband. I've been on the receiving end and also done it to my husband where you get stuck in a make believe life online. It's very easy to get stuck there. I would say tell your husband you uncomfortable with it and it's worrying you.
2006-11-20 06:23:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay... second life? What ever the hell you want to call it it sounds to me like he is what a "MARRIAGE COUNSLEOR" (which u 2 need to see) would say this is a living single life style. That wont work unless you put up with him having his cake and eating it too. I think everyone deserves someone that loves them as much as you love them. I think you deserve to have a spouse in your life that share everything and works together-
2006-11-20 07:34:22 · answer #4 · answered by ROOTER 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
At first I didnt know what you were talking about..until I googled it.
It seems he's creating a life w/out you in it. Have you asked him to share it with you? I would just to see what he says..every marriage should be open with nothing to hide.
Hope this helps
2006-11-20 06:24:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you talking about a Double Life? I think if you feel your husband is having an affair..Just ask him.
2006-11-20 06:24:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I've seen this played out numerous times and would say if you 'suspect' your spouse is cheating, he/she probably is. Our instincts about these types of behaviors are usually spot on. That's why they're called INSTINCTS instead of hunches.
2006-11-20 06:22:38 · answer #7 · answered by stevijan 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I will google it, but it certainly appears now with the younger crowd that the internet games are getting in the way of relationships,
anytime someone is jumpy when another comes up on them to see what they are doing, they are doing something wrong,,
cheating is cheating regardless,
2006-11-20 06:26:36 · answer #8 · answered by rich2481 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just looked this "Second Life" thing up.
Are you kidding me?
He actually pays for this crap?
What a loser. He is obviously having fun with this.. maybe a little too much. The internet can really come inbetween a relationship, even though it sounds stupid, it can. Try talking with him about how his actions affect you and make you feel. Try going out together more.
2006-11-20 06:37:53 · answer #9 · answered by yo mama 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
girl your talking to someone been though it. your not in the dark you know deep inside what he doing. what you don't know are the details and with who and the whey's. you know the days and around the times he leaves? what you need to do is start talking notes. get a notebook make sure he can't find it and start marking down times days when he leaves and when he comes back. what your looking for is a pattern. when you get your information together follow his ***. you know your man going out meeting other women come on his not being sneaky for your sake. he doing it because he hiding .while your doing this or after help your self start reading self help books read Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives by Dr. Laura C. Schlessinger she has wonderful books out it's easy reading too. and she has a talk radio show people call in about there marriage,relationships and all kinds of things it really help me during my dark times with my cheating husband who did things she like you explained her radio show is on 640AM from 12noon to 3pm Mon to Fri
2006-11-20 06:51:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋