As I said I am not so happy in my marriage, just bored, my husband has never been romantic but he is secure. I ran into an old fling from 9 years ago, he is also married, it is obvious he feels uncomfortable around me, not sure if it is good or bad but whatever it is I can't get him out of my head! I know I don't want him but what we had I feel I am lacking in my marraige, my husband has never done for me what that guy did, I miss it.
2006-11-20 06:12:02 · 10 answers · asked by susan 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
the sad thing is I don't think I want to spice it up with my husband, what a bad feeling.
2006-11-20 06:18:41 · update #1
Think specifically what that guy "did" for you. Frame what he did into words, and then tell your husband that you want him to do those things for you. Don't say you got the ideas from thinking of another guy. Do tell him this with an attitude of love and playfulness. It will probably excite him to hear you state your desires assertively.
2006-11-20 06:17:06 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to stop thinking of your former fling and concentrate on your marriage. If your marriage is lacking romance and sparks, I suggest you have a heart to heart with your husband and tell him how you feel. You can't also put all the pressure on your husband to be romantic and spontaneous. It takes two. If you want those things, you should be able to do your part as well. Bottom line is work on your marriage and stop fantasizing of someone other than your husband. Leave the past fling where it belongs..the past! Good luck!
2006-11-20 06:21:05 · answer #2 · answered by jazz_lover_25 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are lacking passion and romance in your marriage and meeting this old fling has brought back those memories which you must be aware are just hazy memories of a time that you can never get back, My suggestion to is that its great to think about old fling and look back fondly but you have to leave it there in the past, you are married to a man that makes you feel safe and to make your marriage into something that is fruitful, you need clear nad honest communication, So hun tel your hubi way you need, and whats lacking in a non accusing manner. Dont look for unnessecary complications
2006-11-20 06:18:38 · answer #3 · answered by leo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal to think about old flame, however if the two of you pursue a relationship, alot of people will be hurt in the process.
Try working this out with your husband, try rekindling the flame that ignited when you to met. Go to lovers lane and get a little spicy, spark it up! Communication is the key and it is very important to let your husband know how you are feeling, bored and lonely!!
Good luck.
2006-11-20 06:15:53 · answer #4 · answered by Michelle Lynn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give it time, don't obsess over this feeling, and it will go away. Keep it in perspective - you can't have EVERYTHING in the same relaitonship, you always give up one thing to have another. Security is not such a bad thing; romance withers, but security can last. Acknowledge positive as positive, and don't concentrate on the negative as much.
2006-11-20 06:18:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to concentrate on your marraige and not be distracted by a third party from your past. He is married and you should make no attempt to disrupt his family. Think about what you can do to improve this situation in your own home.
2006-11-20 07:46:09 · answer #6 · answered by onlineseeker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your husband... tell him that you feel you are lacking some passion and heat. Think of something together to spice up your marriage... tell him some ideas that you would like him to do... hes your husband- be honest and just talk to him.
2006-11-20 06:15:44 · answer #7 · answered by bree_1384 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you feel you could make it whith your husband in the end, it might be wiser to try and talk to your husband and get from him what this guy did for you at the time... You could regret it in the long run
2006-11-20 06:16:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your husband that you need to have a talk with him and let him know your needs....thats the only way of letting him know if you communicate this with him.
2006-11-20 06:18:50 · answer #9 · answered by Damzel in distrust 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may have to confront your feelings then.
2006-11-20 06:17:17 · answer #10 · answered by bigfree_2005 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋