we aren't broken up or anything like that, but sometimes i feel like we have lost some of the sparks that used to be there when we flirted with each other and tried to impress each other and all that jazz. any ideas on how to bring that element back into our relationship would be great.... it sucks sometimes to not really have time to miss each other and stuff like that.
thank you.
2006-11-20 05:54:38 · 32 answers · asked by don't be rude. 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
One night a week, have a date night. It doesn't have to be expensive, but try to have fun. Put on the fanciest clothes you have, then go out for ice cream (or something less messy). Dress up in togas (bedsheets) and feed each other grapes. Pick a song with parts for a man and a woman and practice the duet together in the car or the shower, even if neither of you have good singing voices. Most of all, TALK to your husband about how you're feeling, and be sure to use non-accusatory language so he doesn't get defensive.
Also, you say you don't have time to miss each other. Do you mean that the two of you spend too much time together? If that's the case, take up a hobby on your own (craft stores usually have cheap classes, as do community centers) and enjoy that by yourself. That will make you appreciate the time you do spend with your husband.
2006-11-20 06:07:44 · answer #1 · answered by nosleepthree 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's very easy to get consumed with the everyday busyness of life. My husband and I have date night every Friday night. It's important to us because we have 3 kids that constantly need or want something from us. So we have committed to spending uninterrupted time together. We go to the movies, dinner, dancing, etc. There are some Friday's that we cannot make it, but for the most part, we try to not schedule anything on Friday's other than date night.
If you have small kids, maybe get a family member or close friend that you both trust to babysit the kids for a couple of hours. You would be surprised what a couple of hours of "alone time" can do for your marriage. Do things you both enjoy. Even if it's sitting down and drinking coffee at Starbucks. Again, it doesn't have to be every week, but make it a point to spend "alone" time at least every couple of weeks. I guarantee you that it works. Good luck!
2006-11-20 06:01:36 · answer #2 · answered by jazz_lover_25 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go out for quiet dinners... do not allow yourselves to talk about 1)the kids 2)work 3)anything you ALWAYS talk about... you'll find yourselves in very interesting conversation....
rent a hotel room somewhere on a friday night... ask someone (grandparents etc.) to take the kids overnight...
then find a place not too far away, maybe on the lake/beach nearest to you... (you don't want to run the risk of fighting on a trip somewhere :) and thats stessfull anyways to be stuck in the car) go have a nice dinner, take a moonlit walk.. give each other massages, maybe you got a room with a hot tub or something.. bring something to wear (in your room of course!) that makes you feel like a woman... and just memorize each other all over again... yes you are married, and have seen every inch of each other before... but when was the last time that you both truly took the time to memorize every inch?!
also, on every day, do little things to surprise each other... fun things, helpful things,... just because tickling was fun when dating, doesn't mean it can't work now!
2006-11-20 06:03:47 · answer #3 · answered by lily 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should start by picking a day when you're both relaxed and in a good mood, like the first day of the weekend and make it your regular "Date Day." Go out with friends, see a movie or just stay home and have a nice home-cooked meal and then curl up on the couch and watch a movie you both like. Try to stick to this routine for a while and you'll soon be looking forward to your special weekly get-togethers.
If you're in the mood for something more fun and spontaneous, check out www.lovingyou.com, where you'll find hundreds of ideas for keeping the romance alive, some of which are submitted by (often very creative) real couples.
2006-11-20 06:04:25 · answer #4 · answered by Carmenasks 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I have date night every week. We try to avoid always going to dinner and a movie because you can't really talk like that.
Sometimes we'll take the dogs to the park or surprise each other with something spontaneous, like bungee jumping or flying kites or something as simple as racing home to make his favorite dinner and a new board game to play.
Pinch his bum when he walks through the kitchen or lean over and whisper in his ear how hot he's making you. Something that keeps the interest and the spark alive. The more you do it, the easier it becomes and you'll find you truly do get those giddy feelings back.
Call him at work and talk dirty to him....something that he's not accustomed to since you guys have been married for a while. It's fun!
2006-11-20 06:00:44 · answer #5 · answered by C J 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can start with the element of suprises. I had this issue too and I would do little things to suprise him. In return, he did the same for me. Make an effort to go out and enjoy yourselves at least once a week. Rent a hotel room for a night. Just something that you would do if you weren't married. Start by sending him flowers at work. I know it sounds weird, but he will love it!
2006-11-20 05:58:29 · answer #6 · answered by clbowman06 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife and I try to go on a date once or twice a month. Treat it like a singles date. Dress up a bit, plan ahead an activity you both are interested in, block out enough time for the date, turn off your cell phones, and focus on each other. I recommend dating for all married couples!
2006-11-20 06:11:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What I think is a great idea that my parents use is that they take separate vacations. My mom goes out with her best girlfriends for the week somewhere tropical and my dad usually goes with his buddies on a fishing trip. They usually try to spend at least a week and they believe absence makes the heart grow fonder. They claim that after not being with the one you love for a week you really start to miss them and you can't wait to see them again! Plus, you are getting some great quality time with your buds that can sometimes get neglected in relationships!!
2006-11-20 05:58:24 · answer #8 · answered by ataman 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How sweet. Well, how about suggesting you go for dinner or book a weekend break somewhere? You can help getting the spark back by actually going shopping for some new shoes or something to wear that evening out. Thats my guess at least.
2006-11-20 05:57:45 · answer #9 · answered by NeXuS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You want the romance back, and that's fun. Surprise him sometimes, get a sitter in advance, if you have kids, call him before he gets off work and have him meet you somewhere, act like you two are having an affair (with each other). Stuff like that. Have fun!
2006-11-20 06:00:05 · answer #10 · answered by moonshadow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋