Is the husband who left you losing his mind?

Question

That is my impression now. He is competley destroying his professional, family and personal life by becoming irresponsible. (Not completing assignments, not paying his bills, alienating his family.) The people who tell me I don't have the heart to say "I don't care, sounds like a personal problem." Anyone have this experience?

Answer 1

You know what he left you right? why should you care what has happened to him ? how is that your problem ? Let those ppl know that he is no longer your problem and how dare they pass judgement on you who in the heck are they to judge you? Wash your hands of them and get over it. good luck and god bless and happy thanksgiving.

Answer 2

My ex went down the tubes and I thought there would be one day when I would hear he had died. But at 55 years old he finally got help and is doing a little better now. You cant do anything about it. If people want to go down the tubes that is where they want to go and you cant stop them.

This sounds like classic depression which happens a lot to men especially after divorce. There is a good book about men and depression at Amazon (link below) you can send to him - do it anonymously - it will have more impact.

But after he gets the book, if you dont see any changes in a couple months, then you can talk to him about going to the doctor. If he wont go and gets defensive - there is nothing you can do . He is an adult and can do what he wants.

You just have to do what you feel you should so you don't feel guilty later on - like make an attempt to talk to him. After that you should be at peace that you did what you could.
Pray for him - that is all you can do.
Peace

Answer 3

It is so difficult and sad to see someone destroying or going down, specially if that someone has shared a part of your life. You may have spent some time atleast as husband and wife, and its not so easy to absolutely cut him out. Agreed, he left you (I assume he did, from your question), but all the same, at least for the sake of those good moments, you could just find out whats wrong, without going out of your way, or involving your life into it too much. But one thing is, if he has left you, and has had no contact with you ever since, I do not see any point in finding out or anything, if just in case he is going down cos' of some other reasons, other than a broken relationship.

You are concerned, and its normal, you could find out, and keep aloof. If you really feel you ought to just talk to him, i still see no harm in it. If you talk, and if he sees any sense or tells you on why all that was happening, it might be worth it. And if it really didnt effect him in any way, I guess, atleast you can say you tried. After that, you could just leave him alone. He will find his own way, just the way he found and had the courage to leave you alone.

Answer 4

Oh yes...my ex attempted suicide and became my stalker. He was a professional man with a masters degree, and he turned into a waste case.

I was like you in the beginning, feeling guilty and wondering how I could "fix" him. Then I got over it when I realized that I can only be responsible for my own actions. You will get to this point too.

Answer 5

My ex lost his mind somewhere down the road a long time ago. Oh well, that's his problem not mine.

Answer 6

tell them exactly how you feel. there's no sense in pretending that you give two rats tail about him. he left you. not the other way around. just say I'll pray for him. and if they are his friends, why can't they help him?

Answer 7

He done lost his mind yrs ago . I was gonna have him put to sleep but they charge by the pound!

Answer 8

~!~!Oh Yes~!~! I totally can relate! My kids are nice, and are smart, pretty, and fun to be with. He left us, and hes missing out, on life, and our kids!