We have been struggling with trying to pay rent for an apartment. I've always had a steady job since I was 16 but he can't keep one for more than 2 months. The bills need to be paid every month! Not whenever he can keep a job. I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm on my own. I love him. But I don't feel that its right to try and change him. Otherwise, how will he become a better man if I do? Help me plz. No matter what I say it doesn't work. I'm so broke providing for us. Help...plz!
2006-11-20 05:26:49 · 21 answers · asked by Chanele G 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
it is not your responsibility to pay for it all, he also has a responsibility but won't. yes it is right to confront him, if u never confront him your going to be resentful of him. it seems to be a pattern of behavior that he can't hold a job. and your being codependant trying to fix everything, by doing this your actually helping him to be this way. he won't be a better man until u make him, and if u loose him as a result of it, just move on and consider yourself the lucky one, as no one can just live on love. if he isn't doing his share and u say nothing he will continue being this way, he will keep putting all this on u, as long as u let him. you are enabling him to do this by not setting boundaries, because you are moslikely fearful he will leave u and find someone else. but you know what it wouldn't be such a big loss.
2006-11-20 12:50:34 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG!! That sounds like me 25 years ago. My man still doesnt work regularly. Take some advice that was given to me: If he won't work then get yourself a good job so you can support your kids. Oh I was so sure he would come through in a pinch,of course that never happened and I have spent alll these years feeling like I was a single parent and a married woman at the same time.Really think about it, if he won't work now when all his responsibility is rent and partying what will he do when you have real debt which you will cause he will buy beer at any opportunity and invite others over too. You have no reponsibility to feed him or pay his rent for him. The fact is YOU CAN NOT CHANGE HIM ONLY HE CAN DO THAT. So the secret is make him want to change but I never was able to do that so ...... good luck.
2006-11-20 05:52:18 · answer #2 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
show him my comments below
your job is not who you are. It is just an act you play to get money to live. If sometimes you have to say "yes sir, no sir" to some idiot who knows less than you do, so be it. A job is a game, don't take it seriously. Life is what happens after work.
After 35 years working for various companies, I have now retired on a reasonable pension and can do what I want every hour of the day.
2006-11-20 05:53:09 · answer #3 · answered by XT rider 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to keep a job no matter what kind of work it is. Doesn't sound like he wants to and depends on you. If you don't mind raising someone elses child fine. In the world there are responsibilities we all must do. If he won't step up to his responsibilities then find a man that will.
2006-11-20 05:38:05 · answer #4 · answered by RANDALL 5 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may love him but he clearly does not love you if he knows this bothers you and doesn't try to fix it. What does it say about him as a man if he can't hold down a job for more than 2 months? You need to find someone reliable and who cares about you. He's being lazy and selfish and you deserve better. Good Luck!
2006-11-20 05:35:13 · answer #5 · answered by wish2bwriter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont live with him anymore. You ARE on your own in this bill-paying situation, and all you will get is a bad credit rating if you agree to split your bills equally. No, you can not change him with enough love. Sorry, that's a story we learn as girls and fall for it every time. You can only change how he acts around you, which is not saying he changes, only hides better.
2006-11-20 05:56:13 · answer #6 · answered by moonshadow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're precise it extremely is definitely weird and wonderful. If I understand you wisely, the situation is rented below YOUR call. hire on your call on my own??? if so, you're calling the photos right here. i could smash it down this style - for lease - each and each mattress room is $333. it extremely is not suitable how many all and sundry is in that mattress room. in case you and your boyfriend are in one room it may be $167 for each of you. Then there is the sister - her room could be $333 and in case you dad is procuring her then that it what he could pay, if she is procuring herself that's what she could pay. The dad and his lady pal are interior the 0.33 mattress room and the finished for them is $333 and that they are able to interrupt that down even in the event that they need. Then take each and all of the utilities and divide them by utilising 5. each and each will pay his very own share. And enable the dad and his lady pal be attentive to that they are roommates, no longer parent in value. in the event that they do unlike that then they are welcome to circulate out. he will probable take his checkbook and depart. only make beneficial the sister has a fashion of paying her share of the lease. And in case you choose for yet another roommate value them subsequently.
2016-11-25 21:23:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's time to give the ultimatum...get a job and contribute to our household or get out.
You need to keep in mind that if he's irresponsible now, there's a good chance that he will not change in the future. What are you going to do if you are married with kids and he's still a bum?
2006-11-20 05:32:23 · answer #8 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Yes. Make him leave girl. Know that you can do better. He needs to go home to momma. Tell him you won't play that role for no one but your babies. He is using you and then some. You can do this. Just keep in mind that he is preventing you from who you are meant to be with. Know that if nothing else. That will hold you through it all.
2006-11-20 05:46:02 · answer #9 · answered by bountyhunter101 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a new roommate. This one's a loser. I don't know how you can love a person who cares so little about your sense of well-being and stability, and who uses you, too. Imagine being married to this bozo and having children with him! It's not your job to make him a better man. It's your job to FIND a better man.
2006-11-20 05:31:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋