enormous pain in the neck to bring lunch since i work in nyc and take the bus in. also, i am an italian male and like most italian guys i get cranky when i dont eat right. am i being selfish for not bagging my lunch? i truly enjoy getting out for a few minutes during the day and finding something decent to eat on the streets of nyc. i feel it improves the quality of my life. am i being selfish for spending 5-6 bucks a day on this? in general, i am not a big spender but maybe she sees this as symbolic of a lack of willingness to compromise.
is this such a terrible thing for me to do? not that it matters but i also earn 2 1/2 times as much as she does. and her credit card bills average twice mine.
2006-11-20 05:12:32 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It sounds fine to me that you want to go out for lunch daily - just as long as you can afford it and you are not overweight and choosing unhealthy lunches.
2006-11-20 05:15:19 · answer #1 · answered by truly 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it shows you respect your wife, by asking this question. I think that you are completely entitled to buying your lunch every day...and you made a good point about wanting to get out for lunch. I can sypathize. However, you might want to compromise a little bit. Maybe go out for three days and pack a lunch the other two. You might even find a good spot you could go where you can just bring your lunch with you on those days and still be able to relax away from the office. If you do decide to compromise though, I would say that she needs to as well. If her credit card bills are really that much higher and it's from personal use (not things like groceries, paying bills, etc.)--then she needs to work on that too. Maybe with the money you save by both of you compromising a little, you can use the extra cash for something you both might enjoy together. : )
2006-11-20 05:19:09 · answer #2 · answered by ANGEL 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok if this were as simple as a bring verses buying lunch scenario then it would be much simpler to resolve but I feel the issue is much larger than that. Sounds like there is a financial issue brewing between you two. Seems like a you against her battle maybe regarding how much you individually bring to the table. If its true that you bring enough money to the "table" and are not over spending then yes your in the right. And if its true she is spending more then she makes and then turns around and maxes out credit cards above and beyond your spending this is a problem. Especially if she is the one pointing the finger at you?? It does not make sense for her to question your lunch-spending especially if she's obviously in the wrong with her spending. These are my thoughts based on information given. I think the 2 of you need to re-evaluate your overall financial state review what each brings in and "takes-out". Look in to creating a budget if you do not already have one. In all honesty if your doing nothing wrong merely explain to her just as you did in your question--"you truly enjoy your lunch break getaways" simple as that! I hope you can reach an agreement, too many relationships suffer due to financial disagreements this is definitely not an abnormal predicament!!
2006-11-20 06:15:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that is selfish. You make all very good points, I mean who wants to have to carry a lunch and whatever else you need to on a bus. I can not blame you for wanting to have the ability to get out to enjoy some time outside the office either.
I would assume you have talked to her about this and have not got anywhere. Big thing that comes to my mind, does she make the food or want to make the food for you to take? If she does maybe she is thinking or taking this the wrong way that you don't like her cooking or don't appreciate her "acts of kindness".
2006-11-20 05:21:37 · answer #4 · answered by miketech_79 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you do the math, you'll find that you really don't save that much, especially if you're only spending $5-6 a day.
Other arguments AGAINST bagging a lunch include possible health hazard (improper temperature) and the nuisance of carting it around.
If money is the real reason, then maybe the two of you need to set a household budget (with "lunch" being one of your line items...if you can afford it within YOUR budget, then go ahead and do it).
2006-11-20 05:24:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should give in a just a bit, compromise bring in your lunch 2-3 times a week and have your wife pack it for you, she will probably like that and you can both be happy, and you can save a bit of money that way as well ; and you two can enjoy dinner out w/ that bit of extra money you saved up. And your wife is prob. a little pissed cause you think her brown bagging is not good enough for you or that your spending money selfish on your self , i dont think that is the case but she might be think that
2006-11-20 05:25:04 · answer #6 · answered by question 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First of all, it shouldn't matter who makes more than who. You are married therefore your money is her money and hers is yours. There's no division anymore. The fact that you even bring that up is selfish.
As for buying vs. bagging......what are her reasons for wanting you to bag? Eating out is very expensive and typically not as healthy. I think you and your wife need to get to the root of what the issue is here.....it almost sounds like a power struggle.
P.S. Being Italian has nothing to with liking good food. You could be purple and from Mars and still like a great meal.
2006-11-20 05:26:12 · answer #7 · answered by C J 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have you guys laid all this out on the table? Perhaps you could get to the bottom of why this is important to her so that you know why she is getting ticked.
Is it about the money to her? Perhaps you could explain to her that it is worth the money to you because of the hassle and enjoyment.
Or is it that symbolic lack of compromise that you mention. If so you could try to find a different place to compromise.
No matter how many people here agree with you, it won't help your situation if you can't fix it with your wife. You won't be coming home to the people who agree with you.
Good luck,
Tricia
2006-11-20 05:21:08 · answer #8 · answered by Freya 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Try this if possibly invite your wife out to lunch a couple times in the week.
2006-11-20 05:58:12 · answer #9 · answered by RANDALL 5 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, this issue of packing a lunch is the breaking point in your marriage? If that's your only problem, then you've got it pretty good.
Honestly, I don't see that it's a big deal.
2006-11-20 05:16:05 · answer #10 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋