My partner has three children from a previous relationship. He and I have one child together. Lately I've been wanting one more child but I know he's not going to want anymore children. His last two kids were not planned. This man says he wants to spend the rest our lives together. What would you do? Leave him and be involved with some who does wants kids or stay with him and be happy with our child and his three kids?
2006-11-20 05:02:53 · 16 answers · asked by tobornot2b2006 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My boyfriend has three children from a previous relationship. He and I have one child together. Lately I've been wanting one more child but I know he's not going to want anymore children. His last two kids were not planned. This man says he wants to spend the rest our lives together. What would you do? Leave him and be involved with some who does wants kids or stay with him and be happy with our child and his three kids?
2006-11-20 05:10:56 · update #1
Perhaps be grateful for the child you have and respect that he is honest enough to say he doesn't want anymore and start planning the rest of your life together.
I don't want to discount your desires. However, what does this say about your comittment if you are considering leaving because you are not getting your way.
In some respects, it sounds like he already has another child, and she is threatening to leave if she doesn't get his way.
You've got to either find a way to convince him to be enthusiastic about having another child, or he has to find a way to convince you to be enthuisatic about keeping the family size just as it is.
Work on that, and leave the childish thoughts about leaving to the kids.
2006-11-20 05:06:44 · answer #1 · answered by camys_daddy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The man has enough responsibilities and since you knew about the three other kids - you should of thought long and hard about getting into a relationship with a man that pays child support for 3 kids already... isn't being a step mom to his other 3 and your own child enough to keep you busy?
If you want another child and he doesn't - do you really want to end your relationship with him and go have another child by some other man? Weigh the pros and cons of your options.
Are you all financially able to support another child and take care of all the other bills and save money for college educations? (Isn't health insurance high for that many people?)
2006-11-20 05:32:42 · answer #2 · answered by jaimestar64cross 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you mustn't be rushed into growing up. you're a teenager and also you won't be able to likely imagine like an human being because your recommendations remains coming up. i'm confident you're performing your age. i recognize there is alot of rigidity on you yet purely take it sometime at a time and also you may get there. do not placed a lot rigidity on your self and don't be so problematical on your self both. purely be who you're sometime at a time and that is going to likely be ok. perhaps you may communicate over with someone like a school counselor or perhaps a kinfolk member that would want to understand and help you by this. solid success!!! - you'd be ok.
2016-11-29 07:40:33 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If having a second child was extremely important to me, I would consider finding a person who had similar goals. However, I'd have to take into account whether or not it would be worth it to me disrupting the family environment of my first child for the sake of having the second. I feel it would be extremely selfish to pursue having a second kid without regard for how breaking up with your partner will affect the child you share with him. You must have known from the start that one child would be all you'd get with this person, and you made your choice. It's not your child's fault that you have now changed your mind; he deserves growing up with his father around.
2006-11-20 05:18:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel you're pain. I want more kids but after this one I have to get my tubes tied because my husband doesn't want more. These are things that both you and your husband as well as me and my husband should have talked about before getting married. I say stay with him. The child you do have needs a dad, and if your stepchildren's mom isn't involved then they need a mother as well. Good luck with everything, and Happy Thanksgiving!
2006-11-20 05:10:19 · answer #5 · answered by Kallie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Four kids for a guy is plenty, hon, and you knew he had three when you met him. Accept his wish, or leave. Not fair if you trick him into having another child..... If I were the guy, that would be a deal breaker, and I'd slap you silly, and leave. And remain really resentful.... The partnership would be over since you had been deceitful. And deceipt and dishonesty erode what makes relationships work -- admiration, respect and trust..... and he would no longer have any of those for you, and it would be years if ever that he would get them back....So, honor his wish, or get out..... You will ruin if you deceive him.....
2006-11-20 05:18:56 · answer #6 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It makes total sense why he doesn't want another child. Relationships are about compromise - it's not just all about your wants and needs. He already has 3 kids of his own, and 1 more with you. You should've thought about this when you first met him - that he already has kids and probably won't want many more. This is another perfect example of people getting married who shouldn't have.
2006-11-20 07:01:47 · answer #7 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your partner had explained this scenario to you beforehand and you have truly accepted the responsibility of his previous kids then it is your moral duty to be with him forever and share his responsibilities. Moreover; more kids w'd be a burden on not only your personal lives but on the nation also.
2006-11-20 05:14:11 · answer #8 · answered by ranush 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay with him. You limited your wishes and wants when you decided to have a baby with him. You'd be very selfish if you broke off with your boyfriend and took your child away from their father to breed with another man.
2006-11-20 05:07:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stay and be satisfied that you have one blood child and three step children to focus all of your love and compassion on.
2006-11-20 05:10:02 · answer #10 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋