my mom and dad just got divorced earlier this year after a 25 year marriage. My mom just got a new boyfriend. I really like him and I thought that because I was an adult, that I would not have a hard time accepting this major change in my family. But, my mom and I are really close like best friends and I feel mad at her when she is with her boyfriend and I want her to be happy, but it just feels weird. I feel kinda stupid feeling the way that I do since I am an adult, but I can't help it. Is this normal?
2006-11-20 04:54:35 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
Unfortunately... it's normal. I was 24 and had been married about a year when my parents divorced. It was an ugly, uncomfortable time, in spite of being on my own and an adult.
What can you do about it? I suggest talking with your mom about how you feel. Focus on what you said about wanting her to be happy, but let her know you're still making the adjustment to her boyfriend.
Most important, don't let your natural discomfort at this time get in the way of your relationship with your mom, OR with her new boyfriend (assuming he's not an axe-murderer or something, of course). The best way to proceed is just to go in more or less as you've done here, tell your mom that you love her and you want her to be happy and you're having trouble adjusting to her as somebody who has relationships instead of Mommy. Be sure to tell her not to take it personally, and ask her to tell her boyfriend not to take it personally either. It's a hard adjustment to make, and ask them for help in making it.
And... we love my mom's "new" husband (they've been married for 20+ years now), he's Grandpa to my kids and my niece & nephew, and he's been a great husband to my mom. So it CAN all work out.
2006-11-20 05:18:36 · answer #1 · answered by Scott F 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes its normal.
One thing you need to remember is that your parents are in their 40's or 50's at least. Do you know how hard it is to find a new boyfriend/girlfriend at that age? Why should they be forced to live alone the rest of their lives? You should be really happy for your mom if this is a nice guy.
2006-11-20 12:59:26 · answer #2 · answered by Martin H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course it is, especially if you have grown up treasuring that kind of relationship as I have. My parents divorced at 20 and my world fell apart because of it, I obtained this overwhelming feeling that I will never be able to find true love because of it. If finding someone you love and being able to stay with them for a life-long commitment is as important to you then that would only make sense regardless of your relationship with your parents.
2006-11-20 13:02:53 · answer #3 · answered by Phatmanskiz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure it's normal to feel some resentment because it's your parents. My parents divorce after being married about 30yrs. My father remarried that same year. I resented it at first but now I'm use to his new wife.
2006-11-20 13:00:20 · answer #4 · answered by MJ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Normal to feel this way, but.... unfortunately it really isn't to much of your business so you kinda have to bite your tongue which sucks!! It will get better, I promise! Do you feel the same way about your dad?
2006-11-20 13:11:12 · answer #5 · answered by stephanie m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your feelings are normal. As an adult, at least you can understand what she is going through, even if you don't agree with her.
2006-11-20 12:57:35 · answer #6 · answered by Stumpy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to put yourself in her situation, say you were married to you children's father but it didn't work out but your kids loved their dad but you found a new love interest and he makes you happy at this point in your life, wouldn't you want your kids to be happy for you even though they love their father. To me it is what makes a person happy because whether it be your father or not, I would want my mother to be happy. Well all deserve that in life!
2006-11-20 13:11:52 · answer #7 · answered by Kendra J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's normal. Theres not much you can do though, after a while you probably won't mind. You just need to get used to it.
2006-11-20 13:00:02 · answer #8 · answered by grazedknees50 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IT IS NORMAL SWEETY.......
2006-11-20 12:57:38 · answer #9 · answered by ACE 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋