My future mother-in-law pretended to be my best friend while I was helping her out or doing things for her, but now that I've realized that she was just using me she and I've stopped, she is trying to come between me and my fiance. He has already told her that if this is how she's going to act, then he wants nothing to do with her, but that's not enough for her. Now there are things on the net and all over my area about how I have brainwashed her son into staying with me and how I am so jealous of her. This woman is 50 years old, and I guess I was wrong when I assumed that you reached an age when you grew up. She has come in between my future sister-in-law and her husband several times. I have tried the nice way of telling her to butt out, but she doesn't get it. She thinks I'm being too hard on her, and actually had the nerve to tell me that my fiance absolutely must do things when she asks him to because he is her son and he owes her. What do you do with a person like this?
2006-11-20 04:45:19 · 28 answers · asked by stacijo531 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Son's DO NOT owe their mother's anything besides love and respect...even though it doesn't sound as if she's too deserving of the respect! Thank God your fiancee sees what's going on. Yeah, you would think that at her age she would have reached a certain level of maturity...apparently not. If she can't control herself she's out of the picture. Stand your ground!!
2006-11-20 04:49:42 · answer #1 · answered by grannyhuh 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow! this is hard. I've been through this. Been an only son, before I married my wife and even the first couple of years my mother was very unfair. She stopped talking to us, even when my first child was born she wouldn't talk to us. After many years, now thank God she's changed somewhat. It's really hard for you and your fiance, since it's very important that you two get along. Hang in there, sometimes there's nothing else you can do then to give it time and let God work things out. Good luck! Hang in there.
2006-11-20 04:56:00 · answer #2 · answered by amig 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My pain in the *** mother in law is also 50 years old and like to try to baby my husband,her son,and the bad thing is ,is that she and my fatherin law,both live w/us and we have alot of fights. Two women CAN"T share a kitchen!!!
I'm at my wits end, I have three daughters w/ my husband,and I don't work,and I really want out !!! Because my husband says he will never leave his mother and father behind w/out a house,they're from Mexico you know... and I don't know if you know about how "Mexicans" like to all live together? It's awfull...
Just don't let what I'm going through happen to you! Then you would have problems!
2006-11-20 05:12:39 · answer #3 · answered by ~*meli$sa*~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mothers-in-law are notorious for trying to hang in there with their sons..They automatically figure that since they wiped their butts when they were young, they will always have a "handle" on them forever, and secretly want to sleep with them (Yup sorry -- had too many psych classes..... ) Her age is immaterial, and hopefully your future husband understands that his place is beside you, not beside her. In the future, as his wife, share nothing with her. Smile, be sweet, agree, with whatever she says, then do what you want. You can't teach this woman anything, but you can train her, by simply ignoring her. Never ask her advise, keep conversations simple and light. Never argue, never give your opinion.... in other words, bite your tongue, whether it is a conversation about family, religion or politics...makes no difference, just dummy up. Don't ever again tell her to butt out. Don't EVER give her enough information for her to butt in!!!!! Get it??????
2006-11-20 05:11:19 · answer #4 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Try to keep this in mind: she can't run your life if you don't allow her to. It will be exhausting to deal with, but you will HAVE to put your foot down (continually, if necessary). Saying no and sticking to it is important. I don't know specifically what she's doing, but whatever it is she needs to butt out. If you and your husband stick together and work on this (don't let him cave in - but it sounds like he's on your side) it will get easier. If it means you cut off communication with her until she can figure out it, then maybe that's what you have to do. Always be CLEAR and PRECISE when you speak to her about what you expect and do not want her to do, etc. Set clear boundaries of what is acceptable and what isn't. I know this is easier said than done (because I'd like to call her and give her a piece of my mind after reading about it) but DO NOT react to the childish things she's posting on the internet. All that will do is make her realize she's getting to you and she'll continue.
2006-11-20 05:03:05 · answer #5 · answered by Peach 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just keep your conversation with her limited. no more information. Listen she is loosing her baby to a very fine woman and she's a bit jealous that's all remember; she used to be his first love then along came YOU! have patience with her; and in time she will leave u guys alone. but you have to show her whose boss cause she can ruin your future. When she calls listen to what she have to say answer yes or no and keep it short and sweet. tell her that you're in the tub,taking a nap, in the middle of this great book do get caught up in her web of jealousy. she's harmless though clever.
2006-11-20 04:51:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have your fiance deal with her. It's his mother and he needs to be the one to confront her with this and have her stop what she's doing. I had issues with my in-laws-to-be during the set-up of my wedding and I told my wife that if she didn't put a stop to it, that I would. She finally spoke to her parents about it and they listened (finally).
Your hubby-to-be needs to take care of this, not you, as you will then become the meddling, troublesome daughter-in-law. Have him put an end to this as soon as possible. Whatever he threatens to do, he has to follow through on though, otherwise, she will just continue to be a pain.
2006-11-20 04:50:11 · answer #7 · answered by tipper 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is having problems with letting go. Probably her sons/daughters are all she has and she won't let go. If she says he ows her, then she's got a real issue: She gave birth so she could ask for payback. She is a nutter alright. I say you ask your fiance to defy her; nothing else will do.
2006-11-20 04:50:45 · answer #8 · answered by -Alex 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
II've never seen one that wouldn't meddle in your business. If you leave them at your home by their self they go through every piece of paper and every box you have. I got to where when I knew she were coming over everything I didn't want her to see I locked up in the trunk of my car. You can't stop it, I had just some microwave cookbooks and I told I have some microwave cookbooks in the bottom of the china closet, You told me yeah, I know you do. I finally divorced because I couldn't take her anymore. If you get her stopped please tell us how. They are so nosy you can't even leave them there 5 minutes and those little hands work fast.
2006-11-20 05:08:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know this one.Stand up to her now.To save yourself more trouble in the future.I have the mother in law from heck. And she got worse the longer we were married.nearly cost my husband and myself our marriage.They are like rabid dogs they can smell fear on you.And when you are really bored you can day dream of pushing her and her yeppie little dog over a cliff.Oh sorry that would be my mother in law
2006-11-20 10:51:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋