In case you needed further proof that the Human Race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer products:
1. On a blanket from Taiwan - NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.
2. On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists - REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.
3. On a Taiwanese shampoo - USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.
4. On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink - AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.
5. On a New Zealand insect spray - THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.
6. In a US guide to setting up a new computer - TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING. (Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)
7. On a Japanese product used to relieve painful hemorrhoids - LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.
8. In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles - OPEN OTHER END.
9. On a packet of Sunmaid raisins - WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?
10. On a Sears hairdryer - DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.
11. On a bag of Fritos - YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE. (The shoplifter special!)
12. On a bar of Dial soap - DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP. (And that would be how?)
13. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box) - DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN. (Too late! You lose!)
14. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding - PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
15. On a Korean kitchen knife - WARNING: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN. (Dammit! Who are they to tell me what to do with my kids?)
16. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights - FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY. (As opposed to use in outer space?)
17. On a Japanese food processor - NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE. (Now I'm curious.)
18. On Sainsbury's peanuts - WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS. (Really? Peanuts contain nuts?)
19. On an American Airlines packet of nuts INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS. (I'm glad they cleared that up.)
20. On a Swedish chainsaw - DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS. (What kind of consumer phone-call led to this warning?)
21. On a child's superman costume - WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY. (That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)
22. On some frozen dinners: SERVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST.
23. On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: FITS ONE HEAD.
24. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.
25. On Boot's "Children's" cough medicine: DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY.
26. On Nightly sleep aid: WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS. (Duh!)
2006-11-20 04:26:41 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Business & Finance ➔ Other - Business & Finance
A favourite of mine;'Do not use hair drier/hair straighteners in the shower'. *sighs* Well now I'm just going to be late!!
2006-11-20 04:40:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
No - this is not a joke but the product of a dim civil servant - and I have the photo to prove it. At Northampton General Hospital there is a direction sign to:-
The Family Planning Clinic
And then underneath the directions say:-
Use rear entrance
I repeat, this is a serious reply. Just phone them!
2006-11-20 04:37:51 · answer #2 · answered by lynxd67 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The peanuts one is genuine - peanuts or groundnuts are not actually nuts, they're beans. The same plantations that grow groundnuts often grow "proper" nuts as well, and use the same sacks to transport the different harvests. So it's possible to contaminate the "beans" with traces of the "nuts". Looney, but some kid died with an allergic reaction a decade or so back, so the vendors are now all paranoid.
2016-05-21 22:35:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a real one: The Governor of West Virginia decided to change the sign upon entering our state from "Welcome To Wild And Wonderful West Virginia" to Open For Business" and about 10 ft after that sign stands another sign that reads "Welcome Center Closed" with a big orange streamer going across it. The first thing that we have to offer you is a welcome center and it's closed. We're not exactly sure what kind of business were actually opened for since most of the industry is closing here.I mean we can't even offer you lot lizards our welcome center is closed. Go figure.
2006-11-20 05:02:15 · answer #4 · answered by Laura S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The most common causes of hemorrhoids are straining during bowel movements and obesity. Follow these essential hemorrhoid prevention tips and you may not even have to delve into any hemorrhoid treatments https://tr.im/i8zlV
If you’re straining during bowel movements, there is no doubt that you are suffering from constipation, and obesity only heightens your chance of experiencing these digestive issues. The best solution for hemorrhoids is to not have them at all!
2016-05-01 19:10:50 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Certainly, as a parent, I get very upset when my children take cough medication and think they can operate that back hoe or drive the car.
(Hello? Is anyone home?)
2006-11-20 04:35:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ahahha. Love the raisin one
2006-11-20 04:37:18 · answer #7 · answered by ~Grace~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it started with stupid Americans making stupid mistakes, being injured, then getting money for stupid lawsuits.
But yes, I think people are becoming more and more outright gits. The fact some make it out of bed and out of their nappies, is an evolutionary miracle!
Toilet training to follow....
2006-11-20 04:33:27 · answer #8 · answered by Charles-CeeJay_UK_ USA/CheekyLad 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
very amusing reading, have noticed several of those mentioned myself.
lol
2006-11-20 04:51:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does anyone else hate the "American effect" where the humour has to be explained.
2006-11-20 04:30:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋