Last night I was watching intervention on TV. The husband and wife split on and get on with their new lives. One of their daughters is completely heartbroken and both parents miss this. Fast forward a few years and she is on meth and stripping to make a living. Here is a link to the show:
http://www.tv.com/intervention/show/34392/summary.html
I think there are some situations where divorce is a legitamate final decision but I also think this is done sometimes for selfish reasons and not necessary.
Work hard on your marraige and please your mate in all ways. Put your spouse above all else and if you don't know what they want ask. If you can not be fulfilled together at least agree to have a peacefull house for your children and when they are out of the house then seperate. If there is abuse, adultry or addiction then yes divorce may be what you must do. If not try to make it work and put your wants aside for a few years for the sake of your children.
What do you think?
2006-11-20 04:23:11 · 12 answers · asked by onlineseeker 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I agree with you. Get out if there is abuse or infidelity, but stay for the sake of the kids even if the love is gone. When the kids are 18, then you can think of your own wants and desires.
I came from a broken home and it really messed up my views of relationships and marriage.
2006-11-20 04:26:45 · answer #1 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Parents that divorce their children when they divorce their spouse are the reason why children turn out this way. Parents should focus on the children not the anger they have for the ex. Sometimes grown ups act like the children in some cases. And I don't agree to stay together because of the children,they will grow up and not know what a normal or healthy relationship is. Just treat each other with respect and get along for the sake of the children don't forget them in the battle of a divorce.
2006-11-20 12:30:17 · answer #2 · answered by Mother of 2 girls 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously if there is abuse, than the person being abused needs to get out and take the children with them.
In today's society, divorce is looked at like an option rather than a last resort. People give up way too easy, and immediately think that there is something better out there for them. The children are the ones that suffer through it, and the selfishness that lead to the divorce will cause the parents to ignore the needs of their children as well. Sad but true!!
People need to start caring about more than their own happiness. We are so caught up in the "whatever makes you happy" mode, that we forget about the innocent victims of our choices. Life is about sacrifices! As parents we HAVE to make them everyday. Unfortuneltely at some point in our lives, we may have to sacrifice our happiness for the sake of our children. However, as difficult as that may seem at the time, we are obligated to do it. If you were married in the church and you believe in the promise that you made, than there is no way around it. It is our obligation, to God, our children and each other!!
There is always a way to justify our action to meet our own selfish needs. The truth is that divorce has an effect on a child. Sure, fighting and screaming at each other in front of them will have a negative effect as well, so--knock it off!! Be the adults, stop putting your children in dysfunctional situations because you are too childish to do the right thing.
2006-11-20 13:55:24 · answer #3 · answered by Kailey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree but also disagree. Yes abuse and such...divorce. No to staying together just for the kids. Whether to stay together or not depends on the kids ages. If they are young it can be done and they will turn out just fine. Yes sometimes when they are older its harder for them to understand why mom and dad aren't together. Think about this...you stay for the kids, but you are miserable, maybe even slip into depression b/c of it...how can you be a good parent? If you arent happy and can't work it out....get out. You can both be the parent they know and love even though you are separated.
I divorced when my kids were 4.5 & 3...we went through a rough patch the first year with them but we stuck with it and kept goin. I knew that for me to be a better parent to my kids I had to leave the one place that was making me unhappy (there was no abuse). My kids suffered b/c of it. After that first year things are better than they have ever been. I am a better parent and can concentrate on whats important...our kids! They are older now and asked why we arent together...once I explained it to them...they understood and are ok with it.
The end result...everyone has different situations and feelings. You do what is best for you so that you can be the best parent you can be to your kids. Unfortunately not everyone can have the easy divorce and the kids see that...but you work through it and keep moving.
2006-11-20 12:42:00 · answer #4 · answered by Get_R_Done_n_Dallas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you watch too much TV and have an unrealistic view of marriage.
Pleasing your spouse in all ways can easily lead to abusive dynamics and staying together "for the sake of the kids" makes for an unhappy home and lays guilt on the kids.
There are many reasons kids turn to drugs. Implying that divorce is the leading cause is false.
There's family miscommunication, peer pressure, clinical depression, childhood trauma, bully problems, and just plain experimenting that gets out of hand.
It's commendable that you think highly for children and their families, but drawing the conclusion that divorce is all bad for the family from a TV show is a weak argument and you need more information to back your claim.
2006-11-20 12:37:16 · answer #5 · answered by thezaylady 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
hi my parents divorced in sysdney years back and each went on their ways mom moved to france after meeting a french pilote in sydney and dad went on to england with an english broad met there too
what happened then is that the four kids of the first wedding in which i am included grew up with a new culture and language and families without ever being really part of any of the two new weddings and felt constantly bad about themselves as new kids were born in each new couple
came thirty years of anger between both parents and we were the messenger one to the other in their neverending anger one at another
even today at fourty i hate that and will not divorce as have a kid and want the best for him
divorce is **** never marry if you don t know if you go to the end §
2006-11-20 12:29:41 · answer #6 · answered by bushvaincra 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally agree w/you. My parents are divorce & we turned out "good," but I have a lot of friends that just went down hill after their parents divorced & fell into drugs. I don't know exactly what my parents did right or what we did.
2006-11-20 12:35:14 · answer #7 · answered by MEYost 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it really depends on the situation,but parents should be more in tune to their children, especially after or during a divorce, everyone knows that children blame themselves,familys need to try harder to stay together, it should be alot harder to divorce than it is, maybe then people wouldn't be so quick to marry someone they don't really know.
2006-11-20 12:28:44 · answer #8 · answered by boozer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I did just that. Yet everyone sees the pain of it all. No. I think divorce is a good thing especially in those situations.
2006-11-20 12:26:43 · answer #9 · answered by bountyhunter101 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is wrong to just stay together for the sake of the kids, but you certainly need to consider them. nobody respects marriage anymore, they get divorced over any little thing, or cheat on each other. it makes me sick to my stomach. we need to try harder to work things out and not just give up so easily.
to answer your question. it teaches them that marriage isn't anything important. it teaches them to be selfish. it teaches them that it is OK to be a quitter. it shows them that at least one of their parents are not good people. i could go on and on.
2006-11-20 12:36:16 · answer #10 · answered by asslpman 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋