my husband is totally involved with porn and cam sites on line. no matter how many times we have phenomenal sex he always goes back to these. I am having difficulty understanding his actions - any ideas
2006-11-20 03:53:03 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
The question to ask is whether your or his sex lives are unfulfilling. Does he return to this online porn/webcams because he feels the sex with you just isn't that phenomenal? If he enjoys your sex but just likes doing these other things, I don't see the problem, unless it affects YOU- i.e. you feel your sex life suffering because of his pornographic predilections.
Some people do, indeed, become addicted to pornography, and it becomes a problem when it interferes with their lives or they can only be sexually aroused when using these materials. Otherwise, it's just something he likes to do. Still, it seems to be upsetting you, so the thing to do- the best thing, always- is to talk to him about it. Don't set down an ultimatum or forbid him from doing it, just try to find out why he does it, express your feelings about it to him, and go from there.
2006-11-20 08:50:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. I'm sorry, but this sounds like a really serious problem. I don't think there's anything wrong with porn, especially if you use it to enhance your sex life, but what he's doing is not healthy. Unfortunately, I cannot say if it has anything to do with you, but it certainly sounds like there is a problem with him. Maybe he has trouble connecting intimately. This is a really common problem in our society. It sounds like he may have a sort of addiction to or a compulsion to watch porn, since he watches it so often. Porn is safe for him, because there is no emotional intimacy. If the sex has become less and less frequent between the two of you, it could be that the more he becomes emotionally intimate with you, the less he is able to connect physically. He would not be aware of this happening, unless he was highly self-aware (which I am guessing at 23 he is not). He would be more likely to become less and less attracted to you over time, and it could even turn into a physical repulsion. It really has nothing to do with you, if this is the source of the problem. It is just his mind's way of protection himself from the vulnerability of being both physically AND emotionally intimate with the same person. This is something he will need professional help with. I suggest postponing the wedding until the two of you have some resolution, or you will be in for a lifetime of feeling insecure, worthless, and unloved.
2016-05-21 22:30:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately there are people who are really hooked or addicted to porn and cam sites. Since you don't understand it, why don't you ask him? Let him explain to you why he is into these things. Also tell him how you feel about it. If he starts cursing and telling you its not your business, then I think its high time he seeks professional help. You are his wife and not a f u c k doll.
2006-11-20 20:04:14 · answer #3 · answered by PAXson 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same issue sorta with my fiance....I would always find pictures of naked girls and such in some of the files on our computer. I basically gave him an option. I said if you really want these pictures up here and videos, then you dont' need me. So he deleted everything and hasn't gone back since. Although on occassion we will both look at porn together =P
2006-11-20 04:24:57 · answer #4 · answered by Fantasy686 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sort of thing is harmless. It's just looking. It's not that your un attractive or he's seeking other people to turn him on. It's that he's into porn material. Here's what I think you should do. Next time you catch him looking at this material ask to participate. Ask him what he likes. Play a fantasy role with him were you pretend your that picture he sees. This turns out to be hot,& I think you'll find it's fun for the both of you. Try it. It can't hurt.
2006-11-20 04:48:57 · answer #5 · answered by Ida 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes. There is even a lifetime movie about this, called Cuber Seduction. It can be serious. Internet itself can be adictive, as well as sex and porn. Put them together, and it gets worse. Try going to consoling and confront him about it. If you need to, block of websites. It might not be cheating, but it is just as bad.
2006-11-20 03:58:20 · answer #6 · answered by quest 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes. He's got a porn addiction.
EDIT:
Fantasy686: "So he deleted everything and hasn't gone back since"....
Right. That's what you think.
2006-11-20 03:55:02 · answer #7 · answered by BiyGuy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Many people are over-sexed. They never get enough! I feel for you.
2006-11-20 03:55:52 · answer #8 · answered by THE NEXT LEVEL 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I hate to say it, but it sounds like he needs some professional help.
2006-11-20 03:55:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yup, they can.
The medical word for this type of person is a "wanker".
2006-11-20 03:55:34 · answer #10 · answered by internits 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋