How do you correct a child that screams child abuse?

Question

I am a stepfather of a 14 year old girl who for the most part is a pretty good kid. Recently she has been acting out loudly towards both me and her mother when asked to do anything around the house. The last incident involved me asking her to do the dishes. She yelled at me that her teacher told her to do her homework and she needed to get it done. I agree that her homework comes first(by the way she is an A student) but this was just an excuse as she had all weekend to do it and the dishes would not take long because we have a dishwasher. Well, one word led to another and she screamed that if I touched her it would be child abuse. The neighbor friend of hers was walking by and overheard her screaming child abuse. The neighbor friend decided to bring her mom and find out what was going on. My wife has cleared up the matter with the neighbor. I have decided to ground my daughter and take away her things she likes. She has gotten her father involved, who believes she should listen to me.

Answer 1

Sounds like you're doing all you can. Taking away her things is a good punishment, and not letting her use the phone or watch t.v. or use the computer. There's plenty you can do as punishment that aren't abuse it's called discipline. Just make sure her mom and her dad are on board to back you up. It won't take long for her to realize she's not going to win this one and start behaving, for the most part.
Good luck.

Answer 2

Even if someone were to "hotline" you for child abuse, they would see that she is well taken care of during the investigation and close the case as unsubstantiated. Nothing would show on your permanent file.

I remember when I was 14 my mom and I got in a fight on the front lawn and she smacked me with her rings on and scratched my face in 3 spots. I was bleeding and hit her back, not hard but an open hand smack back. She called the cops and I went to Juvenile for the weekend. You can still discipline without beating your child and luckily, law enforcement is still on the parents side. I wish you the best of luck. Maybe one hotline call and an investigation would show her that she's not getting away with this crap and she really does have a pretty ok life. Just a thought.

I like the response from "common sense" (above) also.

Answer 3

First of all, if she is "for the most part a pretty good kid" and she is an A student, I wouldn't be questioning when she decides to do her homework. Her current schedule seems to be bringing her very desirable grades.

As far as the attitude, I don't know a 14 year old girl that doesn't have one. And, while you don't say so, it sounds like during the argument, you must have threatened her physically to make her say that.

Grounding them and taking things they like are good ways to correct them, but if her BIRTH parent is involved, I would let him and her mother handle it.

Answer 4

She has a reward system at school (grades) she should have one at home too. Give her a list of chores that she must do daily or weekly or whatever you and your wife decide. Assign each chore a monetary value. When allowance time comes either add or subtract the value of the chores done vs not done. At 14 the almight dollar rules. They want clothes and shoes and cool stuff. Taking money away is what hurts them. Next year you will have the driving permit and license to bargain with. Good Luck.

Answer 5

Try making a schedule. Put a block of time for homework, another time for chores, etc. Her behavior will probably blow over, but if you need something more extreme, get a social worker to set up an appointment with foster care parents who will tell her what child abuse really is. Chores is not child abuse.

Answer 6

you say she is an A student,,,,is she having any problems with the increased work load that comes with age,,she may be struggling,,maybe tell her you want a chat,,that you dont believe she meant to say what she did and if she has anything she needs to get off of her chest,,she can and you will listen,she is 14 and will be having all sorts of different things going on in HER life,,and believe she has one outside what you and her mother know about,,allowing her to talk about her worries,fears may help her to realize it is ok for her to get stressed with the both of you as long as you know it is just that,stress,encourage her to understand she can say that,,she has the right to feel at odds with herself,she has the right to be angry but in a way that actually makes her feel heard rather than just vaguely yelling about nothing which upsets all of you .if you say you want to listen,,just listen,,dont judge,dont shout,,if she asks for advise great but allow her the choice of feeling important,,that her voice and concerns are valid,,she is a young woman and it is tough,,if she has done something bad,,praise her for the truth and encourage her to work out what to do,punishing her as a naughty child wont help,,to get her to talk she has to know you are capable of listening.

Answer 7

nicely all of us defines issues in there very own way, as you will likely already recognize, however the superb to thank you to ensure the right definition to ''baby Abuse'' i might think of would be to ask somebody of authority as an occasion in line with threat you will possibly desire to objective to ask somebody who works contained in the Social amenities (social worker) or in line with threat a wellbeing customer might desire to define the which capacity for you in a greater effective gentle. stable success with that hun. As for my thoughts and recommendations on the definition of ''baby Abuse'', i individually might say that baby abuse could be something from (Sexual abuse) Sexually assaulting a baby to basically (actual Abuse) hitting the baby, even nonetheless additionally i assume in a manner i might individually additionally classification call calling to a definite quantity (verbal abuse) baby abuse too. there are maximum of definitions of those 2 little words, that's extremely dazzling yet i while you're training to grow to be a legal expert or thinking approximately transforming into a legal expert i think of in case you prefer a perfect definition of the words ''baby Abuse'' then i might individually think of approximately going to attempt and have a communicate with somebody who works with abused toddlers in some sort of way, as they needless to say plenty greater of an recognize-how with reference to the definition,(even nonetheless no longer forgetting that they could no longer recognize the full on definition). Or/and a social worker/wellbeing customer and so on. stable success..xx

Answer 8

Don't live under the same roof with the little manipulator. What ever that takes.

Answer 9

Cut her off at the pass..
Call child services and explain the situation...
See what they say..
At least you then won't be worried about any
of her threats to complain about child abuse..
AND, child services ( or whatever they call it in your state )
will already be pre-warned that she is using them to
manipulate you...