My boyfriend and I planned to go to a local pool hall to have a good time and sort of celebrate my birthday. Well he arrived with some friends before I got there. Well when I got there he was with some of his guy friends and a female friend that I told him I didn't like being around. (I dont like being around her because she kind of flirts with him.) He says he doesnt think so because it is his brothers ex girlfriend but a woman knows when another woman is flirting with their man. Well he promised me he would never invite her out with us again but she was there. He says he didnt invite her one of his other friends did. He kept trying to get me to come hang around them and the girl but I refused because I know he probably told her how I felt. That would have been really ackward. I was extremely mad because that whole night we didnt chill together. Instead he chilled with his friends and I chilled with my friends. Am I wrong being mad?
2006-11-20 03:43:37 · 19 answers · asked by MonaLisa 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Oh and let me add, he was drunk when I got there.
2006-11-20 03:59:30 · update #1
i don't think your wrong for feeling the way you do. some guys just don't get it.
and your rit a woman has instinks about things that don't seem rit .
why do guys think it's no big deal.
the reason why he probably don't care if she was there is because he don't feel the way you do. i'm sure he knows that she likes him. but maybe not the way you think, maybe that's her ay of trying to get back at the brother, or to get the brothers attention to make him jelous. but at the same time he needs to repect the way you feel. and it sounds like he tried to make you feel involved, so if he was doing that, then i don't think you should let it bother you as much as you let it. don't let her make you feel that way. it does sound like u are a little jelous and i don't blame you. he needs to let his friends know that if that woman is going to be around at anything , then you and your bf will not be there.. the friends need to respect boothe of you.
and how you feel. if they can't do that then you and your bf need to stay away.
maybe she likes one of the guys in the crew maybe that is way she flirts with him to get one of the guys to notice her.
find out who invited her. that might clear up the air a bit.
but don't fight w/ your bf over this, after all it's not his fault.
here is a little advise. when she is around all of you, just go with the flow maybe she's not that bad after all. also when she is around get along w/ your bf and be sweet to him, and then she will see that you and your bf are in love, then she will lay off.
in my eyes if something were to happen between them, it would have happend aready. don't fight w/ him over this, if he didn't want to be w/ you he wouldn't be. and don't let her get to you, show her that you are the better person. if she knows that you have a problem w/ her she will be around more offten
JUST REMEMBER HE IS W/ YOU NOT HER!!
2006-11-20 06:21:15 · answer #1 · answered by tabatha 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Yep.
You even say that "He kept trying to get me to come hang around them and the girl but I refused..."
Why do you assume he is lying when he told you that he did NOT invite her? If his other friend invited her or brought her, then it's not your boyfriend's fault. So what if she likes him, is that his fault too??? No. Also, why do you assume he told the girl how you felt? Shouldn't YOU be the one telling her anyways?
Tell him again how you feel and tell the girl how you feel. Why hide your feelings and expect people to understand? COMMUNICATE. What is so wrong about approaching the girl and telling her that you think she likes your man and that you think it is inconsiderate and disrespectful for her to be flirting with him?
Wouldn't it much easier than expecting people to read your mind?
And if she really does like him, you just caved and left him alone with her (without you at least) the whole night! Seems to me that she got her way regardless.
Don't get me wrong, as much as I've sided with him, if your boyfriend knows that she bothers you then he should've handled it differently...he could've just spent the day with you and not his friends. It was your birthday! Happy Belated Birthday!
You added that he was drunk...um, so? Wasn't he at a pool hall playing pool and drinking, waiting for you? Maybe if he would've PICKED YOU UP and taken you out for your birthday things would've went differently.
:)
2006-11-20 11:45:50 · answer #2 · answered by Boodie 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes, if he promised then he shoudlve kept his word and did what he said. He also was wrong for doing that on your birthday too when it's your day and you should be happy that day of all days. Talk to her to tell and ask her how things are between the two fo them and thne she will see that you care and are uncomfortable with the situation of them hanging out a lot. Then let your boyfriend know he broke his promise and you think him being around her while your not around is a bad idea. Tell him they can still be friends you just want to be around. Then it shows that your not just seeing things your way but your being open minded and if you can respect them as being friends he can respect how you feel if not then it might mean it's time for you to move on.
2006-11-20 11:51:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yah, I think I may have been a little miffed....but hang out on the other side of the pool hall while SHE hangs on the side HE'S on....I don't think so! I would've been hanging allllllll over him rubbing it in her face that he was there with ME and not her. If she knew that you didn't like her and why, then you just played right into the reason she was there by keeping your distance. She now knows that she got to you and intimidated you into ruining your own b-day. Yeah, her being there may have been a little awkward for you, but you could have made it A LOT more uncomfortable for her.
If you are still a little dissappointed with your bf, you do have the right to be, but I think you need to be a little mad at yourself as well.....
But anyway-----HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! :-)
2006-11-20 11:50:12 · answer #4 · answered by secret_oktober_girl 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You said it was to celebrate your birthday?Well if he got away with inviting HER that time, you better get to liking her, she'll be back.Some men think it's cool to make their date jealous.Plus he disrespected you by being drunk when you got there.You have every right to be mad.He sounds self centered and that's not a good thing.He should've taken you some place alone, unless you are the only one working on a relationship....Girl you need to go fishing for a true MAN!!! good luck..
2006-11-20 12:09:35 · answer #5 · answered by Maw-Maw 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'd be mad since the plan was for just the 2 of you in the first place. To keep it from happening again, find out which friend did invite this girl. If you can't find one, you might want to rethink the relationship. Or you could try flirting wth your boyfriend so he won't need someone else's attention in order to feel special.
2006-11-20 11:49:22 · answer #6 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
no, it was your birthday. he should have known better than to put you in an awkward situation on this day especially! but i also think by avoiding her the way you did, you did her a favor. just have fun being with your boyfriend and let this person know you are not intimidated. these kind of girls feed on fear! you can always tell your boyfriend after wards that he messed up. but don't give that stupid girl the satisfaction of having ruined your birthday with your boyfriend.
2006-11-20 11:51:58 · answer #7 · answered by gabriela 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are not wrong. First of all, if you were supposed to be celebrating your birthday, why was he there before you with all of his friends. Secondly, if he knows you have a problem with this girl and she means nothing to him, them why is she always around. It just seems to me that if he had made plans with you and he knew you were upset, that he would have ditched his friends for you. I would have felt like he chose them over me. Hopefully, you can work through all of this, if that's what you want. He just has to learn to acknowlege your feelings.
2006-11-20 11:55:25 · answer #8 · answered by justcurious 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You were wrong to stay away from him; he was probably telling the truth and all you accomplished was to guarentee a miserable night. So what if another girl is hanging around, he's YOUR boyfriend, right? Challenge him to a one-on-one pool game and keep the banter flowing between you and him and there's no room for her to flirt, see?
get in the game, girl! (smiling)
hugs,
cryllie
2006-11-20 11:49:40 · answer #9 · answered by cryllie 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
u have every right for being mad.. and of all things your bf promised u something and he broke that promise to u.. I would feel the same as u.. thats just not right.. so i take it u didnt have a good birthday huh? im sorry.. hope u have a better one next year
2006-11-20 11:47:07 · answer #10 · answered by blue eyes 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋