I have a 15 month old baby now. Last week when we went out on a family trip with his relatives I was surprised to see that he was actually ignoring me. He wouldn't even care to sit next to me during the trip. He was more interested in talking to his people and holding other's babies. Now I am not being jealous here. But he was really ignoring me. What should I do? Even when we go to the supermarket or somewhere, he will always walk away from me. Earlier he would pay attention to me and display that. Now he doesn't care? When I try to sit and talk to him he says that nothing has changed and that I am imagining things. What can I do to make him care and show his affection for me? I cook all his favourite things that he hardly notices and I also try to be very innovative in bed, but after enjoying he simply rolls over to sleep. But he doesn't appreciate all that anymore. He doesn't even listen to me. I am very depressed. Can I do something that will make him pay more attention to me?
2006-11-20 03:30:09 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think that I did too much for my husband when we were married. You sound like you are doing the same. You become a doormat after awhile--and who ever notices a doormat?
Get a sitter (or use grandma) and start going out with "the girls" a night or so a week. Show him that you can have a life aside from just making sure his every creature comfort is met.
2006-11-20 03:37:20 · answer #1 · answered by maamu 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
All the answers thus far are pointing out some obvious things to think about and some might lead to a solution.
But I'll ask you to answer for yourself another question. What do you talk about since the baby was born? Is it very different than before?
Is the baby all you discuss? Is it the house and all the chores that need doing all you discuss? Do you ever talk about what you used to have in common?
I'll bet you that he is bored because you are obsessing with life in a post baby world and left your husband out of it.
Work on this and your marriage will self-heal.
2006-11-20 06:52:35 · answer #2 · answered by Carl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how your feel, not just your thoughts.
For example, instead of asking him, why were you avoiding me and ignoring me on the family trip, tell him how you feel... I felt lonely and sad during the family trip. I wanted to be with you, but somehow I was not able to find the time to sit with you. You see the difference? You not putting everything on his shoulders. You are explaining how you felt without making any assumptions and without placing blame. You are not causing him to be defensive. This will make it easier for him to respond and address your feelings. Don't give up, tell him that you love him everyday. Think about your feelings, and communicate those to him. If there are time constraints, or your husband comes home tired and stressed, put a note in his lunch, or send him an email. Tell him your feelings. If he loves you, he will eventually respond. Don't limit your feelings to just negativity, but also communicate to him when you feel content and happy, or if maybe the baby does something that makes you laugh.
2006-11-20 03:41:02 · answer #3 · answered by Jack C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are misunderstanding him. Whenever both of you go among your relatives the husband, who had been a child few years back, feels a bit confused in presence of his family members while expressing his affection for you.
You know there are people who are expert in expressing all this in a professional manner, however, you find them cheating after their real exposure.
Your husband appears to be introvert in nature and you are a bit more expressive. Permit him to express his emotions indoors and take in a positive way, whatever he is doing right now in public place.
Avoid expecting all this in open…
2006-11-20 04:06:13 · answer #4 · answered by Harish Jharia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG!!! To be ignored is the most painful thing in the world honey!!! I totally feel for you. He clearly has no idea that marriage needs to be maintained. Its not something you do and then its over and things are just the way they are. You need to be very specific with him in asking him to do things for you. Most men are simple and need simple instructions. The first part is the hardest though. Getting him to see the issue. If you need to get his parents involved or his best friend to say to him that he is neglecting his Marriage might help and to tell him that its not okay to ask a woman to join his life and as long as he is happy you should be too is bull-oni. This need to be addressed urgently and needs to be taken seriously.....my marriage failed because I couldn't get him to see the very same problem till after the papers were signed. Please do everything you can to save it. You have baby, and you need to be happy with the man in your life. Good luck sweetie!
2006-11-20 03:45:00 · answer #5 · answered by lbacig 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
see honey First of all ur are not supposed to expect him to be the same of course when u get married after that guyz do not have the same feeling as they used to have .2: i guess u did some thing that have hurt him so badly or made him feel so jealous now he wants to make you understand that u are not that important to him.3: posibilities are there that u are around him 24 hours and u want him to be with you all the time which make guyz feel disgusting when a gurl or their gurl friend or their wife tries to get close to them i don't know what's the reason but my oponion is u have to always run away from ur guy and hide your feeling and make them to run after you.now all u have to do just try to look good n sexy u urself try to talk to ppl around you get your attention away from him or some times tell him i don't feel like to take care of the baby u just take care of him/her i gotta go out with ma friends ..ignore him .now if he likes u or other word if he loves you he will get fucked up n will get back to you the way he should or if he doesn't like you or love you then move on ...but keep it in mind don't be transparent just sleep with him every night but other hand ignores him just try to be so pretty all the time and look sexy
2006-11-20 03:40:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
It is foolish to run, even after boarding into bus. Your husband might have caught the real meaning in it. You are the right person to amalgamate with the changes you face. Try to concentrate on other things to get affection of your beloved one.
2006-11-20 04:04:04 · answer #7 · answered by naari 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well please dont mind if this hurts you. but this is very honest answer.
at times we become tooo pushi towards our partner and we forget that he/she needs some space of there own.
just leave him the way he is and dont be just behind him or push him. dont fight just relax and may be start avoiding him in public places and then he will come to close to you.
this doesnot have to do any thingn with your baby as baby is rathere the only thing that is common betwen you both.
try this and please do let me know at 9900130051 or gagandsm@yahoo.co.uk
ciao
Gagan
2006-11-20 17:23:48 · answer #8 · answered by gagandsm 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a man and most men are stupid. If he still loves you I could understand him just not showing the affection because he has gotten too comfortable in the marriage (which is dangerous) I don't know why he ignores you. Are you doing things that stimulate him mentally or are you only thinking of yourself. My wife and I have a philosophy that if I put my wife before myself and she puts me before herself, we will be happy because even though we don't make ourselves #1, someone is, and they can make us feel better than we could do ourselves.
2006-11-20 03:38:01 · answer #9 · answered by August W 1 · 2⤊ 2⤋
when you haven't made any mistake or done anything wrong,never went against his wishes,then why is he behaving this way?i think,he has lost interest in you or found someone else.you are depressed,but he is not!either you talk to him straight away or you will ruin your health.you can't do anything,until you ask him clearly,what went wrong and where??
2006-11-20 05:54:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋