I am gay and "she" is my best friend...a friend of her died and latley she has shut out the world...I am/got tired of just sitting around in her room all the time, and just wasting time...I am tring to understand her situation, but she isn't moving on...I'ts been like two months...She wasn't even that close to him...
We have latley gotten into more arguments. I havn't talked to her since last week and that's weird b/c we usually atleast talk everyday. ALSO her and another friend of mine got into it and they are no longer speaking...so here I am in the middle, but I have unofficially chosen my other friend, just because she doesn't bring me down whenever I talk/see her. I think my best friend is taking that personal too...She cancels on me to hang out with (the friend that died's sister) and they sit at her house...I feel like I am loosing her and I don't want that, but I don't want her the way she is right now... What should I do?
2006-11-20 03:11:21 · 6 answers · asked by Tell You How It Really Is 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Well I don't think its a good idea that she hangs out with the dead guys sisters. That just sounds like they are enabling each other to stay depressed.
Death happens and there's nothing we can do about it. If nobody died there would be no place to live and no food to eat.
It sounds like to me that she is taking it hard for one of a few reasons:
-She really did like the guy and is going to miss him.
-She didn't feel bad about him dying at all and feels guilty for that in is overcompensating by being ultra depressed.
-She is reminded that she herself will die one day.
-She could be having a religious problem. (why does god let good people die?)
Seriously though, the guy that died wouldn't want her acting this way. He would want her to realize what a precious gift life is and that she should take advantage of it and live her life, not put her life on hold to mourn him. If she's going to stop living her life she might has well have died with him.
An idea for you:
Talk to her about the sister. Suggest that she help the sister get over the depression by taking her to a support group. This will help both of them get over their loss and move on with their lives. Or suggest that the sister take her to a support group. You aren't a professional and she is fragile right now. The professionals know how to fix them and anything you might say or do could depress her more which sounds like what her other friend did.
2006-11-20 03:25:10 · answer #1 · answered by Martin H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You actually need to be patient. I know two months seems like a long time, but other people take longer to grieve than others. I would tell her you don't want to lose the friendship, but that you need some time away. That it is getting to you. She should understand. Although you need some space don't abandon her altogether. She need to grieve and right now being with the deceased sister helps her to feel whole again. Its easy to say get over it but that is not easily done. Try not to argue with her. When an argument ensues, say I have to go, or just don't argue. She when she is over her grief will realise you have been there for her and are a wonderful friend. Just give it more time. It will be OK.
2006-11-20 11:20:54 · answer #2 · answered by janine b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
umm...wow!this is so relative to my situation right now, but diff. ofcourse. anywho, maybe she needs time to find out herself what it is happenin and try not to make this a big deal cuz then youre just gonna end up depressing youreself even more so just let things flow and eventually she will come back to you if she is a real true friend of yours.
2006-11-20 11:18:21 · answer #3 · answered by Lizzie101 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is gonna heal some day and you 2 can be like "friends" again! *hugs* best wishes
2006-11-20 11:13:48 · answer #4 · answered by **POPULAR!** 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont let her get lost. stay w/ har and talk with her
2006-11-20 11:22:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
take her to one of those midjet rodeos, there always fun.
2006-11-20 11:24:24 · answer #6 · answered by I am the Badger Princess. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋