We have been legally seperated 2 yrs. My kids on their own and I'm living with friends. My son wants to have Thanksgiving at his house which is fine, but my ex- and his mother and dad are going to be there too. I am just bummed out and don't really want to be around him or his family. I understand the kids see it as mom and dad, and we had it last year together and it was o.k. but my feelings have changed alot toward him and I haven't seen him in 6 months and really don't care too since he's the one that wanted the seperation...Sooo what should I do?
2006-11-20 02:49:09 · 17 answers · asked by Spanky 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You should go for the sake of your kids and grandkids. It shows that you truely love them when u go to a place where they know you are not comfortable in. Nothing is better than having a dinner with those you truely love.
2006-11-20 02:52:19 · answer #1 · answered by Rizeel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say only go if you are focusing on your children and grandchildren. If you are going to make the center of your attention your feelings towards your seperation and your husband then I say don't go. You have to focus on what is most important and that is the kids and grandkids and if you can't then I say don't go. Your son wouldn't have invited you if he really didn't want you there. You will be there to celebrate not dwell on your relationship. I say call your son and tell him you will be there but if things start getting out of hand you will leave as you don't want any problems or to ruin Thanksgiving---also ask to be seated away from your husband and his parents. Just be polite and say hello and nobody says you have to carry on a conversation with them.
2006-11-20 03:12:39 · answer #2 · answered by jacksonpappyswoman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go. It's inevitable that the two of you will have to see each other from time to time when dealing with your children. It will get easier as time goes on. I am speaking from experience. Don't let the bad times of the past ruin the good times of the future. If it becomes too uncomfortable, you can always leave and your children should be mature enough to understand, but give it a try.
2006-11-20 03:04:40 · answer #3 · answered by justcurious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what you feel is comforatable to you. You don't want to go and have a misreable time that might make your family feel like you are not enjoying yourself. If you can tough it out and go and have a good time with your kids and grandkids then I think you should. But, if not, your kids are grown and they should be able to understand and explain to your grandkids why you aren't there. But, if you don't go, at least call your grandchilden and say happy thanksgiving.
2006-11-20 02:55:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you dont feel like going then dont go cause you are just going to make yourself misserable and everyone else around you . Have your own thanksgiving celebration . Do you have any single friends if so invite them to your house and have your own celebration while i was seperated and working on a divorce i got some singles from work together and we all had our own celebration. good luck and god bless and happy thanksgiving.
2006-11-20 02:54:05 · answer #5 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you could make up a dinner at your place the day before and see if your kids could stop by? That way you can avoid the ex. Be honest with them and tell them how you are feeling. Good Luck!
2006-11-20 02:52:43 · answer #6 · answered by Lt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go! If it is a bad time, you can always leave....but if you don't go, then you'll just end up drinking yourself into oblivion. Your son loves you....and your ex and his mom will probably not be that big of a deal if you go into it with the right attitude.
Good Luck and Happy Thanksgiving!
2006-11-20 02:51:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey! You are the mother. Go for it. Hell with your ex. Feel all your feelings in your heart. But be civil, exchange pleasantaries, be mature about it (even if he is the one who wanted the separation). Give him the message that you are doing great and better without him. Hold your head high. Be there for YOUR son!
2006-11-20 02:53:11 · answer #8 · answered by happykat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go.
Have an escape clause, tho---make it be known that you really need to stop by Sally from work's house, because she'd been nagging you to come for dessert and they're eating at (whatever time your son is having dinner, too).
Or, get a migraine if it gets too stressful and gracefully go home.
2006-11-20 02:52:40 · answer #9 · answered by Munya Says: DUH! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Spanky as my mother use to tell me there is always one way to get around a fence, Simply just take your kids and go and let them enjoy you don't have to subject yourself to it if you don't want to and that is the deal...And if the kids don't understand then sit down with them later and explain it to them.
Eventually they will understand as time goes along
2006-11-20 02:55:58 · answer #10 · answered by beagirl40 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋