Help, My husband is a jerk!?

Question

My husband is a jerk, he is 23 and Im 21. We were married when I was 16. We have 2 kids ages 4 and 2. He works all day. But he is so mean to me when he comes home. He calls me names and when I ask him for something he gets an attitude and rolls his eyes. He always says that he is going to leave, which I dont think I would mind but I dont have a job. I am trying to go to school. if he left he would take our van and how would I pay the house payment!

I dont know what to do!
Please Help!

Answer 1

The first thing is DO NOT quit school. You might want to seek legal advise. Many towns have a legal aid office where you can get legal advise free or at a low cost. If you have the children and he leaves and he is the bread winner, he can be forced to leave you the van and pay the house payment. I was in school and my husband left, he had to pay the house payment, he had to leave me my van and he had to give me money. you can also get food stamps, and WIC which is extra help because you have childen under the age of five. See a lawyer and maybe some marriage counseling. No one should be treated this way....trust me I put up with it for almost 18 years. He left and I have never been happier.

Answer 2

Hi!
Have you study?. Ages now are not important. You are married and now thats the issue.
I guess you should start thinking what's the aspect of your life you want your children to learn.
I'm a mother but mine is a baby still (9 month old) and i work and his father does too but i don't know what will happen tomorrow and is better to prevent than to suffer.
If he always call you names and treat you bad is because you allow it. I don't mean you to get back and hit him or whatever is not that way but you should develop better esteem and make you children look and learn that. The way they see you both in home is the way they probably be in the future.
If they're boy they will learn to treat women the way their father treat you and its not good. Even if you think they're little kids they learn and are smart so try to give your life a 360 degree turn and change your appearance, the way you see things. You're not less than no one and because of your fear you shouldn't let yourself pass all that things.
Respect yourself and work. Do whatever you need to do to take your children to the next step is what a good and responsible mom will do.
Hope you change because the father or your children maybe won't but you can make the difference and you should do it for them.

Answer 3

He seems to me like a pathetic husband. Sorry to say this, but if a conversation regarding this problem with hism doesn't work out, you'd better off leaving him. Or if he wants to leave, favour him that wish. Since you guys have two kids together, he will end up with child support and more likely, the house payment.

If I were you, I'd look for a job right now just in case. You are still so young. Don't let that financial stuff and headache he has given you ruin your life. There are many more much better things out there and you really don't want to miss out on that. Try to build your inner streght.

Answer 4

You are both very young and have a lot of responsibility. You should try to talk to him and try to figure out of he really wants out of the marriage or if he is just taking his frustrations out on you. If he doesn't seem to have a real interest in saving the marriage, then leave, before you put any more time and energy (or bring more children) into it. Look to your family for assistance. You may have to put school on hold for awhile and get a job. It won't be easy, but if he doesn't want to be a family man, the situation will continue to get worse. Don't let anyone treat you badly -- ever. Good luck.

Answer 5

I would act fast and either get a job or a roomate or something and divorce that man as quick as i could. Be a strong woman who doesn't need a man. Maybe a family member or friend can help you out for a while...do something quick this man is no good for you. Make sure you get child support also in the divorce there are too many men in this world who are not supporting their families. Good luck:)

Answer 6

I think you should leave him and get yourself together. Ask your family and friends to help out. A great way to make some $$ these days is go to school for nursing. The program is 18 months, and many schools have day care services on site. This way you could be with your kids, and help secure their future.

good luck

Answer 7

First, I must assume there are no relatives you can stay with. Then check into what the government can do for you. There may be workforce development to cover the cost of daycare while you go to school. As far as staying with someone else... hmmm I know exactly how that is, when you want to leave your spouse but have no where to go.

Answer 8

Next time he says hes leaving tell him not to let the door hit him in the ***. By law in this state (VT) if you have children and only one car it belongs to the person with the children and he has a legal obligation to support you and your children. Call a lawyer and find out you rights. Life is too short to live with a jerk.

Answer 9

First of all, if it is that bad, I would get take the van and go stay with someone else. His heart obviously isn't in this relationship. I would also call a lawyer and just talk to them about what your next move should be.

Answer 10

You need to get your life together. Ask family members for help, there's also shelters than can help. If your really unhappy you should get an divorce and make the jerk pay child support, and go to court and fight him for the house.