How does everyone feel about giving someone else a baby? I carried a baby for a friend and it seems like she (not hubby) is still angry that she could not carry. I gave her the gift of a baby and I never see him. I am proud of what I did but, just want to know what he looks like and how he grows. He is 100% them, I just carried him for 9 months. I have no regrets! Suggestions?
FYI: The baby is now 5 and I would only want a picture-not a one on one with him. Is that asking too much?
2006-11-20 00:57:26 · 6 answers · asked by lucyloulady 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
That sounds reasonable. They are probably still jealous of you and it is not your fault and they nee to grow up and see this. You performed a wonderful task that many people wouldn't do and you have all my warmth and wishes.
God will bless you for this!!!!
2006-11-20 01:17:21 · answer #1 · answered by mommy of two 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Do you still talk with this friend? Cant you ask her for a picture or something? I can definately understand you feeling this way. To answer your question I dont think I personally would give a friend a gift of a baby but I probably would if my sister or someone in my family was desperate because I dont think I would be able to deal with not ever knowing where or how the child is. Without that meaning I would demand rights or wanting the child to be all mine..
Its a shame that they dont inform you about the child but maybe they are afraid you want to have more to do with him? I wonder if they plan to tell him...
If someone had a baby for me, I would be eternally greatful and make sure that they were happy in their life as they have made me.
2006-11-20 09:08:26 · answer #2 · answered by chiara 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think giving someone the gift of life is an amazing thing to do. But I think it takes lots of trust in each other and it can change relationships. This is something you need to be prepared for.
Perhaps your friend (is she still your friend?) feels that by you having little to no contact with the child, that is better for everyone involved.
2006-11-20 09:03:34 · answer #3 · answered by Holly C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your feeling are understandable. But try to think about hers. She may feel jealous because you did this wonderful and selfless thing and she couldn't. You are a reminder that she couldn't do this and she may feel like less of a women because you had to do this for her. She is probably grateful and her feelings may not be reasonable but sometimes feelings aren't reasonable.
She may feel that her husband thinks less of her because of this and having you around will be a constant reminder. Or she may view your natural curiosity as a threat. She may feel less a woman and mother because you obviously were so close to her child.(you gave birth to it) She may be jealous of that. Talk to her, tell her you care for all of them, maybe a family picture would be OK. It is hard for you as well. You said it yourself, you carried THEIR baby. The baby you carried wasn't yours. It is so hard to carry a baby and not get attached. (Impossible) Maybe she is afraid the baby would somehow prefer you to her. (more feelings of inadequacy)
I would try talking to her without accusing her of anything and without assuming to know her feelings. Just share your feelings, that would would like to keep in touch,, with her and her family. (not just the boy)
2006-11-20 09:43:53 · answer #4 · answered by artimis 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That seems very reasonable to me but I carried my own babies so I don't know what it feels like to not be able to. Good luck.
2006-11-20 09:00:23 · answer #5 · answered by Miriam Z 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is a friend...then why would it be a problem. You had her baby! I don't even see why they are hiding the child from you...its sad you haven't seen it.
2006-11-20 10:02:13 · answer #6 · answered by **PuRe** 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋