What provokes a spouse to loose interest in his other half? Because he works so much, we hardly see eachother. Been married for 13 years with 4 daughters whom are smarter than a whip & our oldest always pays close attention to her dads every move & behavior. She has even noticed his strange behavior & tells me what she feels. Scarry. I take very good care of myself, am very fit, not ugly. I dont think. I'm not jealous, possesive, dishonest, uncaring or loving. My girls tell me i'm very funny & exciting! Never have kepted a leash on my husband. He does what he wants. Always supportive. I love sports. I play roller hockey with our 2nd child who is our gifted athlete. We also play b-ball, football, softball, we go skateboarding, I dont know what gives? I'm missing something. I try, but all to end in failure. Need some kind of advice please.
2006-11-20 00:46:19 · 12 answers · asked by BRITTANIA 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The only one that truly knows the answer to this question is your husband.. In my opinion however, it sounds like he has gotten comfortable in the marriage which is often the case after you have been married as long as you have.. It's seems to me that women go out of their way to try to keep the fire going as opposed to men who generally find a comfort zone and lay back.. I don't feel like you have anything to worry about as far as those fears in the back of your mind that you haven't mentioned.. You must be quite a wife/mom combo.. That's why it would be easy to get so comfortable, your don't sound high maintenance, or overbearing so he can lay back and be content without feeling like he has to prove anything at all to you.. The key to a great marriage is support and communication, have a talk with him, it doesn't sound like you and he have lacked at all in these categories over the last 13 years..God bless
2006-11-20 02:11:39 · answer #1 · answered by john316tdh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like you have a great realationship with your kids. However, a conclusion drawn from your statement would be that work and success have divided you from your husband. Once two people have stayed apart long enough, whether you're still in love or not, you become complacent with being apart. The first question that needs to be answered is whether you and your husband are still in love. If the answer is no, than there is no need to look any further. If you are, then a new bridge of communication needs to be established and new ways need to be formed to spend more time together and as a family. Also, not to be too personal, but there was no mention of your sex life. I've been married for almost eleven years. Don't be afraid to try new things. It is vital that sex in a marriage is kept hot and romantic. You must know yourself and your partner which you should by now. Most times when people think of new in regards to sex they imagine things that they don't want to do or are uncomfortable with. It doesn't have to be. It can be wild or it can be tame. Try booking reservations at a nearby resort or upscale hotel. Most have beautiful dinning rooms and food prepared by chefs. Suprise him with a fine dinner and then take him upstairs to room that you reserved and put on some hot lingerie and enjoy each other without interupptions in an environment where you can completely relax. The dinner and hotel are different and romantic. The lingerie and sex in a non-familiar place are hot. Also, during the sex part I'm sure there must be something you did that he loved when you were dating or newlyweds that maybe you don't do so much anymore. Nothing will capture a man's attention faster as when a woman he loves does something just for him that she gains no satisfaction from other than pleasing her man. That goes for life in general as well as in the bedroom! Just make sure you communicate to him that it works both ways!
2006-11-20 01:19:35 · answer #2 · answered by Gary M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its great you are so involved with your kids lives, but he is your HUSBAND. Start focusing a little of that attention you are giving to the girls on HIM.
In the end, the girls will all grow up and leave and have their own families, leaving just the two of you......do you want to be looking at a STRANGER in 10 years?????
2006-11-20 01:55:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever it was about you that attracted your husband in the first place need to be brought back to life. And whatever attracted you to him he needs to bring it back. The key to keeping an exciting relationship is to always stick to what attracted you to that person in the first place.If you have given your spouse everything they wanted, then that was the problem right there. You don't give a person everything they want, or they will think that they can do what they want. This doesn't apply to everyone, but to some.
2006-11-20 00:54:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Set up a date night twice a month. Set aside ten minutes a day to cuddle and talk.
One of the things that keeps love healthy is complimenting your mate. The two of you need to start making each other feel good. Sometimes day to day life clouds the very reason you got married.
Maybe get some counseling.
Maybe he is in a mid life chrisis.
2006-11-20 00:52:10 · answer #5 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
"Because he works so much, we hardly see each other"
You just answered your own question, he is a workaholic...The older he gets the more it takes out of him physically to maintain the same schedule at work.
You want to spice things up, get a family member to watch your daughters for a week or ten days and take a cruise or vacation.
However, don't have a schedule for a vacation that causes you to stress, just go and relax.
2006-11-20 00:50:53 · answer #6 · answered by OleMarbleEyes 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
As our relationship becomes longer, passion does go down for all of us. Some of it is due to the fact that we all get "bored" with the same partner, the other is that we take our partner for granted. In your case, it also seems that he may be cheating on you or is just so tired that he has no energy left to be nice to you. In case you think he is not cheating because he works so hard, then ask him to cut back on his work and spend more time with you and family.
2006-11-20 00:53:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
wow you sound cool. maybe he feels he has to compete with you for his daughters attention and it is causing his feelings for you to blur. if he is gone all the time, it maynot be work that is drawing him away from his family, it may be another woman. talk to him. ask him where he stands in the marraige, and tell him you feel like he is pulling away from you. tell him you want to repair any rifts in your relationship before things go to far and end in pain. i am sorry that your family is having this problem, i hope things get better. good luck.
2006-11-20 01:06:43 · answer #8 · answered by Thumbs down me now 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your ? mentions everything you do with your kids. What do you do with him? If he works too much, tell him. If he has to work that much to support the family, it is unavoidable. You need lots of alone time with him. Rock his world every now and then. Best wishes.
2006-11-20 00:54:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you're a super mom. I don't see it as anything that your doing wrong. Maybe its him. Talk to him about it and if it still doesn't get any better, then go to a marriage counsellor together. You'll both be glad that you did.
2006-11-20 00:50:56 · answer #10 · answered by Jer 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋