I don't care if I'm in the wrong section because all the advice I ever got here was helpful. I've been divorced 10 years but I can't stop myself from dreaming about him every night. But the problem is he's a loser, an alcoholic who can't keep a job. There is such a thin line between love & hate and I so want to close my eyes & not think of him. Anybody been there? If so does it ever go away? We will always be tied togther in a way because we have a daughter. Last night I had a dream and woke up so happy thinking that he was here but than realized it was just a dream. Do you think it's just lonliness?
2006-11-20 00:42:05 · 8 answers · asked by gitsliveon24 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Dreams aren't about real people and real things. The people and places in them represent things. Your ex is simply not a positive force in your life in reality, but your hopes and dreams represented by this person that you once loved are. When you met him, you planned a life based on the information you had at the time. That brought you peace and happiness. When you accepted the reality that he was a drunk, and you couldn't live with that, while he changed in your reality, what he represents didn't.
You aren't dreaming about him, you are dreaming about what you want to make you happy again. Don't use your connection to him (your daughter) as an excuse to hang yourself. Many partners of alcoholics rationalize the pain of living with one when they get away from it.
You need to find a focus in your life other than the past. Get involved with something you have a passion for, or simply donate your time and energy to helping the disadvantage. Do something that occupies your life, because you are feeling unfulfilled and you are unhappy. Don't get sucked into believing that the past will make you happy again, it will not. Drunks do not ever change, even when they stop drinking.
Good luck to you.
2006-11-20 01:30:38 · answer #1 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess I can safely tell you that you're not alone in this,I've been divorced from my ex for 5 years now and simply cannot get over her. I moved 1500 miles away in order to be as far away from her as I could be just to be able to tolerate being apart from her, being near her was simply more than I could take. It puts a bit of distance betwwen my son and me that I wish wasn't there but I can't see myself being a very good father to him ever if I'm dead, and quite frankly being near her and not having her as part of my life was that bad. I just hope that when my son is old enough to travel down to see me that he will still want to,I wish you all the luck in the world and wish I could give you some good advise but the only thing I can offer is that you just have to do the best with what you have,or at least that's what people keep telling me. At least you have his faults to look at so maybe you can try to be content with the idea that maybe in the long run you're better off without him,I wish I had that unfortunately my ex was perfect in my eyes so I can't even use that.
2006-11-20 01:01:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is a powerful thing and not easy to let go of. Talk to a counselor, join a support group, see your doctor. This is not a road you want to endure alone. You sound like you are really hurting. Get some help. Reach out to those who love you and get their support to walk this path with you. Blessings!
2006-11-20 00:53:13 · answer #3 · answered by Mike 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's been said that you never fall completely out of love. While that may be true you do eventually come to the realization that just because you love someone or something it does not mean that it(or they) is good for you.
2006-11-20 00:46:18 · answer #4 · answered by IndyT- For Da Ben Dan 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
10 yrs and you still think about him? Hes a loser and alcoholic who cant keep a job? Maybe in your own mind you think you cant do any better than this? Perhaps this is what you are used to in relationships? I think you need to find yourself, love yourself, and then and only then will you realize that you deserve better.
2006-11-20 00:49:53 · answer #5 · answered by arielsalom33 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
yes i have been there no it does not go away but it does get easier when you meet someone who treats you and the kids like you and them deserve. and yes i do in away think it has to be with the loneliness cause before i met my fiance i always thought of my ex and now i hardly think about him cause i am alot more happy with myself and my kids are to my fiance and i have a son together but my other two kids are not his but he does treat them as his own. not to be rude but i think you need to go out and have a fun night on the town who knows you may meet a really nice guy that wants to be with you and treat you the way you deserve to be treated. good luck and please try my suggestion.
2006-11-20 00:50:19 · answer #6 · answered by angie f 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
he in all probability is in to you yet he has a girl chum of four years and he loves your company and that's extreme-high quality for a guy to talk to you continuously without flirting congratulations on looking a real chum shop him close take care and stable success shop me stated please
2016-10-22 10:08:35 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I still love my X and it pisses off my current boyfriend.
i've tried to stop carring about him, but i cant
2006-11-20 02:55:28 · answer #8 · answered by pete 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋