ok so my boyfriend cheated on me,and now he wants me back hes asked me to marry him, but if he cared for me as much as he sed he does why did he do it,whats even worser is it was my cousin who he slept with,i cant forgive them but i love him,what wud you do
2006-11-20 00:20:19 · 32 answers · asked by jamie c 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ditch him - if he's gonna cheat early on in the relationship, what's he gonna do after you've been together for a few years.
I can see nothing but pain for you - get rid, Now!!
2006-11-20 00:22:33 · answer #1 · answered by mark 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why in the name of god would you want to marry some one who has already disrespected you?
You may well love him but I'm sure you've heard the saying "Love isn't everything" That is the truest saying in the world. So many people put them selves in the line of fire for love. There is no point. He at least should be kept in the dog house for a while & made prove his lopve, loyalty, friendship, trustworthyness and all of the other things before you even concider taking him back let alone marry the guy.
He might be saying it was such a mistake and he didn't mean it and that he loves you etc etc etc.... That's what they all say.
Put him to test. If he really loves you and really wants to be married to you for the rest of his born days then there's no rush is there? I mean yeah, marraige is a wonderful thing but for a guy like him I think it's just a peice fo paper.
No need to make a decision... if you think he is genuine then what's the harm in waiting any way? I mean you're not going to break up any way.......................... ....................are you??????????
2006-11-20 00:31:49 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We're all human. We all make mistakes.
Your boyfriend succumbed to his physical urges. The question to ask is WHY and NOT WITH WHOM. Would it matter to you if it was with your cousin, your best friend or a stranger? I think not.
The fact is, he strayed AWAY from you.
I truly sympathize with you and understand you may have many questions right now. Questions like:
1. Why he chose (after cheating) to propose marriage to you?
2. Why he went elsewhere to have sex?
3. What his long-term goals are with/for you?
4. Can you ever forgive your cousin AND your boyfriend for their affair?
5. What would he do if YOU did what he did? How would he react? What does HE think about all of this?
Answering your question, I would talk to my boyfriend and ASK him those questions. I would not marry him right away because my emotional wounds were still raw.
If I did not feel him; if I did not think he was being entirely honest with me, I would move on. There are many available men out here who would respect the love and commitment I have to offer, and who are looking for a woman like me.
To me, Love is not a game or an experiment.
So - chin up - thoroughly examine your options - and your heart - but remember: always SELECT; NEVER SETTLE.
Good Luck to you!
2006-11-20 00:53:49 · answer #3 · answered by GMarieP 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look get a grip he's done it ONCE he'll DO IT AGAIN, Lets be quite honest here, if it had happened to your mate you would sit there and tell her not to take him back that's the truth and hey I've done it myself so i know how hard it is... yet the fact is us mere mortals are pretty crap at taking our own advice, and i find it really hard to believe that you've forgiven him, Cos if you really think about it every time he's late, very time he doesn't Tex you, when he goes out on his own, you'll be walking on egg shells then the arguments will start, it will always come between you ,family get together won;t be the same cos it was your cousin and it'll eat away at you! Move on now don't waste any more time, and i think you know that really cos you wouldn't be on here asking for advice.. Go and enjoy yourself find someone who respects you and your feelings... YOU WILL GET OVER HIM, BUT YOU'LL NEVER GET OVER HIM CHEATING...
2006-11-20 03:56:10 · answer #4 · answered by free2fall67 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, As much as the heart rules the head and you totally love him I truly believe that if someone in a relationship cheats once they will do it again (people change temporarily but 99%will resort back) and the fact it was your cousin speaks volumes, he obviously has no morals at all or respect for you.. you are worth so much more even if you are blinded by confusion at the moment, he is not for you.. would you do that to him??
Good luck
2006-11-20 04:55:12 · answer #5 · answered by JB 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So now that your boyfriend finally had his chance with your cousin and he was caught from you....Imagine what he must be thinking.. Probably asked you to marry him because he knows its over now that you caught him with your cusin now he wants to use marriage as a commitment to keep you. Suppose you do marry this cheating man and in the back of your head you will always remember how he betrayed you by sleeping with your cousin. The thing is i don't think that it will work out knowing that he did this ...... you know the saying "ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER" well it is true. I don't think this man even knows what he wants ..either you or your cosin....on top of it all. He must feel good inside thinking he had you and her now he can finally feel peace knowing that he already knows how it felt to be with her and can still remain with you..........
2006-11-20 00:55:35 · answer #6 · answered by Damzel in distrust 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him to go to hell. Especially if he did it with a relative. How could you love someone who has slept with your cousin. I would give him the boot and hit it far far away. You can do better than that. What if you do marry him and he does it to you again and again, he will not change, not for you or anyone, once a cheater always a CHEATER, don't trust him. Pray on it and move on to someone who will love you and you can trust wholeheartedly. Good luck and God Bless
2006-11-20 00:34:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run Honey, Run!!
You are right - if he loved you a) he would NEVER have cheated and b) Especially with your cousin. Yuck!
Move on, find someone who really cares for you. If you do marry him he will either cheat on you again, or the fact that he did will eat you up from the inside, and destroy the relationship anyway!
2006-11-20 00:25:12 · answer #8 · answered by dragonfly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi!
My advice is get rid of him, NOW!
You SO deserve better.
Forgive them both, coz by not doing so, you're giving them all the power. If you forgive, it'll be easier to let go. But don't EVER forget the deep hurt they have both cost you.
If course you still love him, you will do for a while longer.
But, you have to give him the heave-ho, and you know it.
Like I said before, you SO deserve better - and he's out there waiting for you!
Best of luck!
2006-11-20 04:02:46 · answer #9 · answered by Moofie's Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
scenario
your cousin comes to your house after you are married will you pop to the shops to get some drinks?
do you plan to now marry him and cheat your cousin that cheated you?
forget him he does not deserve you if he did there are many other people he could have cheated on you with not your family it just shows the kind of man he is
2006-11-20 00:32:39 · answer #10 · answered by john n 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you cant trust him again then leave him. Definately do not marry him! That is a terrible idea marriage is not a quick fix for anything. It also makes it alot worse that is was your cousin.
I dont see how you could get back togther.
If you do it will take alot of time be very difficult and he needs to do a lot to prove himself.
2006-11-20 00:27:24 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋