With the number of unhappily married people in the world does marriage still serve its purpose and if so why are 90% of married people unhappy. Does marriage ruin a relationship?
2006-11-20 00:11:21 · 9 answers · asked by Cube 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
From what I have seen from the people around me, and from personal experience people marry, these days, for all the wrong reasons. One of the biggest mistakes people make when they get married is that they start to PLAY marriage as soon as the paperwork gets signed. Instead of keeping things the same way as they were before marriage, they fall prey to the things they've heard about being married. Then they start to use phrases like," you're the wife you're suppose to do that, or be able to. Or, you're the husband you have to do this or that. In today's society many people, not just in marriages, but also in many aspects of life, people are compromising. People are settling with something that they really don't want. So they end up keeping things just as long as they can tolerate it, then they kick it to the curb. Many people are in what I refer to as (disposable relationships).
2006-11-20 00:24:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
These days it depends on the preferences of the people involved.
If there is any ambivalence on the part of either partner, I definitely think it is best to stay single but involved with each other. There are far too many people who believe marriage will solve some sort of problem. This is not the case. Generally speaking, any problem people have before marriage will only get worse after tying the knot.
If two people want the same things in life, are not afraid of commitment, can stay monogamous and face challenges together, by all means, get married. Just understand when you are married it means you are committed to the happiness of your partner first, and they to yours. It is forgetting this that causes so many problems.
2006-11-20 09:27:02 · answer #2 · answered by Slimsmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
marriage is never a solution. it is a choice to take a relationship to the next level. some people can't handle it and they get divorcd. no one can predict the future and things happen. i don't know where that 90% of married people are unhappy thing came from, i know tons of happy married couples.
marriage doesn't ruin a relationship. when something goes wrong in a marriage then the relationship is ruined.
2006-11-20 08:17:02 · answer #3 · answered by pikachu 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm interested in this too. Have been with wonderful man 2 years. The love of my life. Not one thing to compain about. We both were in difficult marriages and painful divorces. Have discussed gitting married, but not a priority. We are both ambivalent about it. We sort of feel "If it ain't broke, why fix it?" But we also sort of feel like it is the natural progression. I am 40, He is 49. Him..no kids. Me a 10 year old. He has been a better father than my son's father. We travel, we enjoy the same intrests. We each own our own business so have plenty of freedom to enjoy each other. Really want to marry but....? Does that paper ruin it?
2006-11-20 09:06:10 · answer #4 · answered by Tina S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suppose that depends on what you feel the purpose of marriage is, and that's something that is individual for each couple....or in some cases, each person. And having a different expectations of marriage than our spouse can lead to alot of problems.
I don't feel that marriage ruins a relationship.... people do that on their own, with or without a certificate. It seems common for one person or the other, to take their spouse for granted after marriage.... almost as if they don't have to try anymore just because they've got that piece of paper. Thats not a failure of marriage in and of itself, its a failure of the person who views marriage as an entitlement. Relationships take work, and effort, and commitment.... married or not.
2006-11-20 09:01:29 · answer #5 · answered by just_me3575 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe it really just depends on the partners. I have been married twice now and the first time around went down hill once we tied the knot. We dated for 8 years and then got married, by the time our 1 yr anniversary came around we were seperated and filing for divorce. I am now happily married to the most wonderful man ever and we only dated for 9 months and then he asked me to marry him. We married on our 1 yr anniversary together. We are now going on 2 yrs here pretty soon.
So like I was saying it all depends on the partners and how well they get along and how much love they have for one another.
2006-11-20 09:16:00 · answer #6 · answered by dnlmndyr 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage doesn't ruin the relationship. People are afraid of comitment. They are afraid to go to a pre-marrital counseling session. They don't understand that their vows mean forever. Thus the words "till death do us part." People like freedom. And marriage can be freedom! But, many don't realize that marriage isn't all care bears, pink clouds and rainbows. It's more like death valley with someones hand to hold onto. You can get through "death valley", but you must WANT to and he must WANT to! And, when things go wrong, you must WANT to do anything you possibly can to fix the relationship! That means, counseling, talking, doing more things together, going out to eat, not cheating, etc. No, marrige has never ruined one relationship. Immature people that are afraid of comitment have.
2006-11-20 08:27:07 · answer #7 · answered by S. Elizabeth 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
or maybe theyre making the big disision to soon? I wonder what the age group is, I bet the majority are in thier 20's or earlier, and in the world we live in today there are a lot of imature people!
2006-11-20 08:14:51 · answer #8 · answered by Zapawaf 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it does not...... its the best thing that can happen in a relationship.... u can make it work.
2006-11-20 08:36:30 · answer #9 · answered by sniggy21 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋