my bosses told me friday that when he left me it wasn't his fault because he never got over her. i said NO because if he knew he was going to get back with her then he never should have been with me, or got an apartment, or got me pregnant..and it goes on and on. someone said when they break up (because they will) i will take him back. i said NO because he keeps throwing this in my face and being immature like i was the one that hurt him. then we were talking about the baby that i am giving up for adoption and i said NO i am not keeping it because i no longer have a family for the kid and i don't want to be tied down to him if he is going to be the way he is. i just feel like he used me and got me pregnant just to **** me over. is this wrong?
2006-11-20 00:10:55 · 11 answers · asked by pikachu 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
we work together and we are both close to our bosses. we used to hang out but ever since he left they don't want to hang out with him, i don't think they like her. they were there last time when she hurt him and they know she's going to do it again.
2006-11-20 00:19:11 · update #1
we were thinking of adoption anyway before all this happened. everyone wants me to keep it and get him for child support but i think it's wrong. and we were like talking about getting married and all this. all this happened suddenly. i did not just get pregnant, i am due in 3 weeks and he left me 3 weeks ago.
2006-11-20 00:22:14 · update #2
your bosses?
2006-11-20 00:16:28 · answer #1 · answered by venus11224 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't mean to sound hard or harsh here, but I think he was or is a player in a since. Really I think that you are a bit immature as well. You are the one that is wanting to give up a baby just because he left you and went back to her. What you were more or less saying is that you would have kept the baby had you and him stayed together but now that he has left you don't want the baby. You was ready to be "tied down" and start a family with him, but now that he is has left you you don't want to be tied down. But all in all I think that baby would be better off with someone that would love it. When a couple splits up for any reason what so ever and one gets involved with another person, someone is going to get hurt as that one person just might go back the their partner as in your case. I would stay away from people like that until you know they are not going back to the other. You are playing with fire.
2006-11-20 01:25:46 · answer #2 · answered by SapphireB 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
At this point, I don't see the reason to fault anyone. You knew he was in love with this other girl when you started going out with him. This has been admitted already by you due to both bosses knowing about his history. If you are fine with putting the baby up for adoption to be able to give it a chance at a better life then that is fine too. You still have feelings for this man, and that's understandable. I just hope you don't take him back if he comes running. Chances are good that he will. I pray you come to a peace with yourself and with him. Good luck and GOD bless.
2006-11-20 04:03:54 · answer #3 · answered by cookie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Number one: if you're giving the baby up to spite him, yes, it is wrong. It's not the kid's fault that things didn't work out. Two: it sounds like there is a CRYING need for both parties to grow up. Relationships fail. People are hurt. Life goes on. If he is still so angry about the adoption, he could just as easily taken and raised the child, instead of you. He didn't; hence, the fault is evenly split. Men don't tend to f*** women over for no reason. What was his background? Child of divorce? Abuse? Sociopathy? Step back and ask yourself; was I trying to fix him? He was an adult already; you can't "convert the natives". He came with his own issues, and you with yours. Move on, and learn from the experience. And also keep the door open for the child later in your life, when the bitterness hopefully fades.
2006-11-20 00:18:46 · answer #4 · answered by Judy W 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Give up your little angel? Think twice. It’s your blood! About him, you don’t need him to help raise your child and its your responsibility, no other woman’s responsibility to take care of your baby and its not the child’s fault. Put yourself in the child’s position. Do you know your mother? If you do, how will it feel if you know that your mother didn’t really want you, because of the father? Grow up girl. Your gonna regret it the rest of your life if you give your baby for someone else. His a f-nut! F him. Don’t you go to his level and tell your child some day when the little angel comes and look for you that it was not your fault because the father was a d-head. Don’t regret... then it’s to late.late.
2006-11-20 00:23:21 · answer #5 · answered by confussie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you and/or him decided to have relationsip with the expectation of him and her to not work out, then either of you or both of you is/are at fault.
As for the baby. If you're worry that you can't take care of the baby, then have someone take care the baby, just make sure that you didn't break the bond with the baby. Have someone you know take care of the baby, and also you need to regulary visit the baby. If you can take care of the child, then take back the child.
2006-11-20 02:26:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is difficult to judge. The bottom line is you don't want to be tied down with a child and know what your limitations are as far as caring for one is concerned. I applaud you for your ability to make such a difficult decision. I believe you are doing the right thing. If your ex is this unreliable and fickle in the relationship, it is definitely a good choice to make as he will most likely be unreliable and fickle in the future. Every child deserves to have a happy, stable home environment. You have decided to give one to the one you are carrying. I hope things get better for you.
Good luck
2006-11-20 01:12:50 · answer #7 · answered by Slimsmom 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Nobody uses us without our permission. He didn't tell you not to protect yourself when you had sex. Sex is a two way street. I know that you are feeling poweless right now, however you have your power. Take it back. Find healing for yourself and your baby. Go on with your life. Go to school so you can provide for you and your baby. Forget this guy and learn from it so you don't get involved with someone like him. The red flags will go up next time and you will know the difference between someone right for you and someone like him. Good luck better things are on their way.
2006-11-20 00:17:15 · answer #8 · answered by queenmaeve172000 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is what you do....
Stay with first plan....have baby,put up for adoption (best option).
2. take some time off for yourself.
3.If you have the appartment throw he's **** on the lawn.
4. Find a new job.
5. Move on with your life.
2006-11-20 00:41:47 · answer #9 · answered by vanislandwitch 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
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2016-10-04 04:09:14 · answer #10 · answered by huenke 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have the right to feel the way you do!
2006-11-20 00:13:03 · answer #11 · answered by Bil B 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋