The man I was dating several months back was having financial problems. I was 19, he was 26. I didn't know the severity of his problems until I started having to pay for everything: dates, dinner, movies, shopping, his gas, his food...etc. His car was almost repo-ed, I loaned him $800 so he wouldn't miss his payment. He promised to pay me back. Months later we stopped seeing each other. Everytime I'd ask for my money, he'd dodge me. The last time I asked he became angry. He said he couldn't pay me back. He has some items of mine(he claims to have lost, and said that is my fault i left them) I really want back: autographed CD's and diamond stud earrings. He said to leave him alone. Im in a serious bind. I want to get a lawyer, but in order to do so, I'd have to tell my parent's. They'll be FURIOUS with me for even loaning out money. What should I do? It isn't fair for me to sit idle while this jerk is probably conning another girl, and telling her the same lies he told me. Please HELP!
2006-11-18 22:56:22 · 11 answers · asked by Sarah A 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
#1 Never lend money to someone if you can' t afford to lose it.
#2 IF you lend money to someone get it in writing.
#3 If they won't pay you back and you are unwilling to write it off, make friends with some big tough dudes who can visit the bum and convince them to return the money or the items.
#4 If bum has already sold items you can claim uncollectible debt on your taxes and bum has to claim it as income.
#5 Lawyers are not cheap. But, they will usually allow you a consultations session for free to learn if you have a sensible complaint.
#6 Most districts have a small claims court where you can file a suit and the bum will have to come before a judge and answer your complaint. If bum doesn't show you win by default and most likely will be given legal papers that can be served by police.
Good luck.....
2006-11-19 13:15:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you didn't get a promise to pay you back in writing, then there's nothing you can do. You have to have proof of the loan to get a lawyer to help you. This is a hard lesson to learn, but now you know...never lend out money that you can't afford to lose. Especially to friends or even family. Trust me, I've learned the hard way, too. The one option you atill have is to tell your parents and let them try to deal with him. Good Luck and don't do it again. This guy was a mooch and using you.The next time you date someone and end up having to pay, cut him loose right away.
2006-11-18 23:31:33 · answer #2 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The guy seems really committed to never paying anyone back. It would probably be easier for you to cut your losses, slash his tires and put it out of your mind. Basically if he's that far in debt he's gotten good at dodging the people he owes. Lawyers cost money and the stuff that he "lost" has probably been sold a long time ago. He's a jerk, chalk it up as a learning experience and move on.
2006-11-18 23:03:07 · answer #3 · answered by stezus 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I will go with both. Some honestly feel they will pay you back by a certain day and don't worry too much about the consequences because it's family. Then you have others who just use that just to get money and they know damn well they aren't going to pay you back! Goes to show, you can't trust anyone with money, even family.
2016-05-22 02:50:05 · answer #4 · answered by Elizabeth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, obviously your claim that he owes you 800, 8000 or 80000 is not valid in any law court.
Whenever you loan money to anyone, think of it as money that you will not be given back. Otherwise, never loan money.
Right now, the only thing you can do is pay someone to break him appart or have friends do it...
Your story is a classic. After all, you could have lost much more.
2006-11-18 23:59:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your parents will be much more understanding than you think. I'd talk to them anyway. Your father will probably be only to happy to chat to ex bf about getting the things back, but don't be surprised if they are gone for good. It wouldn't surprise me if he sold them. I'd say count the money as lost because even if he gives it to you, it probably isn't actually his money.
It sounds like this guy is an addict of some sort, like gambling or drugs.
In regards to another girl, if you know who the is lady then I'd suggest contact a mutal friend and ask her to contact the lady. If it is a friend of yours then you should let her know in person.
2006-11-18 23:10:27 · answer #6 · answered by Bad bus driving wolf 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a Lawyer, tell your parents you know you were wrong but you need their help now. They'll help you.and take that bum to court, he sounds like a real lowlife. Be thankful your out of the relationship with just an $800 loan, it could have been alot more.Good luck to you, I wish I could know the results.
2006-11-18 23:31:09 · answer #7 · answered by MKM 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like a case of the messianic complex. tell his parents, ask him to sign an I.O.U. with a payment deadline, find a lawyer, or start believing in karma. hope you get your money/stuff back.
2006-11-18 23:02:45 · answer #8 · answered by thomas 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You now have learned your lesson. Dont do it again. Never loan money to anyone, expecially someone you think you know. You learned the hard way.
2006-11-18 23:01:04 · answer #9 · answered by frdstress 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Judge Judy! I would suggest you tell your parents I'm sure they will get over what you have done. But take action now before he leaves somewhere else!
2006-11-19 00:00:34 · answer #10 · answered by userdefined 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋