We are starting to seperate but my family cant do enough for me they have found me a soilicitor for custody of the children, helping get a deposit on house, this is what i know about why?? Sorry i know you dont know my family so guesses would do?
2006-11-18 22:36:43 · 21 answers · asked by jules 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The only reason that i know of his when i was pregnant with our first baby he walked out of a job and since then he cant stay in a job. It has been me who supports our family financially. I dont mind as he is a good dad but a rubbish provider
2006-11-18 22:40:03 · update #1
Jules first of all think yourself lucky that you have a supportive family - just imagine how hard it would be going through what you are without them.
Secondly there must be a good reason for them all having this opinion of him.....hey they cant all be wrong!
Remember people not directly involved will often see things that you cant, you loved your husband and only saw the best in him, where as they saw the other side.They only want whats best for you.
There is life after divorce honey-good luck to you and be strong xx
2006-11-18 23:05:07 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You answered your own question. He is not taking care of his family. Your family wants to always be supportive to you. That is what families are for.
They (and you) have probably been wondering: Why can't he hold a job? If he doing alcohol or drugs? Does he have problems with authority? Have you suspected any of this? Has your husband shown any motivation to change?
The word husband has to do with taking care of the wife and the family. You just cannot separate the daddy part. It is a package deal. I am a husband and a daddy. It is very easy to take care of my 2 year old boy, I play with him every day. It is easy because I only see him 3-4 hours per night after work. But my wife sees him a lot more and gets all the whining and tantrums. It is much harder to work 40-50 hours per week and also maintain a relationship with my son AND my wife.
2006-11-19 08:52:37 · answer #2 · answered by Jack P 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe they see that he has made you unhappy and dragged you down or something. Families often wont interfere in a marriage but will help you 110% get out of a what they see as a bad situation. Its nice that they love you so much. Sometimes when going through a seperation - we are the last ones to see how far we have fallen. Good luck for the future xxxx
2006-11-19 06:41:12 · answer #3 · answered by starlet108 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds to me your parents had him pegged right from the start. Any man that would have his wife be the soul provider and stay home so he can play with the kids is by no means a man, Are you seperating because of your parents or because he's a lazy good for nothing and your tired of doing it all. You'll have to do it all anyway once your rid of his sorry self. But now you'll be doing it for yourself and your children. Accept your parents help and be thankful they are there for you.
2006-11-19 07:47:45 · answer #4 · answered by MKM 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it's hard to answer this without knowing you or your family, but (having been through 2 divorces), i know that my dad gets very vehement about both of my exes - even though both of them were really good guys that treated me well.........we just weren't 'right' together.
It's nothing to do with them 'not liking' your husband, and more to do with them supporting you in whatever way they can. They want to show that you're not alone, that they'll be there for you, that they have your best interests at heart and that they're totally on YOUR side and will stand by you no matter what.
It can be over-powering, but to be honest, it's just their way to feel useful in what can feel a helpless situation. Let them help you, and try not to question it - it makes them feel better, and when you're suddenly alone with kids, it's very easy to feel you have to prove your self-sufficiency.
good luck xx
2006-11-19 06:57:58 · answer #5 · answered by spacebabe2 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
honey...this is not a matter for your family...hey should not interfere, it's your marriage, not theirs and they do not provide for you...if they hate him so much then all they have to do is stay away from him...sometimes it's hard for a person to get back into the work routine once they have lost a job, so just tell your folks to leave it alone, it's not their business...soon enough your hubby will get a job and things will get better, if he's a good dad then that's all that matters, while he is off work he can take care of the kids more and help you out around the place...but as for your folks...they are making it their business when they should be minding their own
2006-11-19 06:45:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
your family has kept a close on things with you and your family. they are worried and must think that you deserve better treatment off him .they have seen enough and want to surport you through wot will be abit rough at times of seperation.you must find out wot you really want to happen and see where you need things to go for your family will make that decesion for you otherwise . for you can always make things happen if you want them to . good luck keep your hand on your heart and use your brain.
2006-11-19 08:23:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would say it was for a very good and obvious reason. Why don't you ask someone in the family if something has happened which you don't know about.
2006-11-19 06:56:53 · answer #8 · answered by Bad bus driving wolf 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Since you are in the process of separation it sounds like your family is just doing what they can to help you . If you've talked to your family about why you are separating, I imagine that's why they are on your side...you are their daughter and their first priority.
2006-11-19 06:41:59 · answer #9 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
In laws are always bad. Most family members will always side with their own blood relatives.
2006-11-19 06:41:05 · answer #10 · answered by morris 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋